Members with children

[ohaiclover]

I have an almost 2 year old son and my SO has no children. My son has talked to my SO on the phone and via skype before but he's so young he doesn't know what is going on and the conversations pretty much just consist of hi and bye bye haha. I would love to have another kid someday, key word someday and I know that my SO wants children. Here is my kinda dilema, my SO is 6.5 years older than me and my son also has a 4 year old half brother, they have the same dad and my son's brother's mom is expecting another child here in the next few months so things in that department are already kinda complicated. I love my SO very much but there is an age gap and I'm worried that I won't be ready to give him a child of his own when he's ready not to mention adding another kid into the equation. My SO already cares greatly about my son and I know he will be a wonderful role model for him and a wonderful dad some day.

Am I just being paranoid about things? I think I'm just worried about what other people will think, but I shouldn't let that hinder my own happiness right?

[Verojoon]

I have an almost 2 year old son and my SO has no children. My son has talked to my SO on the phone and via skype before but he's so young he doesn't know what is going on and the conversations pretty much just consist of hi and bye bye haha. I would love to have another kid someday, key word someday and I know that my SO wants children. Here is my kinda dilema, my SO is 6.5 years older than me and my son also has a 4 year old half brother, they have the same dad and my son's brother's mom is expecting another child here in the next few months so things in that department are already kinda complicated. I love my SO very much but there is an age gap and I'm worried that I won't be ready to give him a child of his own when he's ready not to mention adding another kid into the equation. My SO already cares greatly about my son and I know he will be a wonderful role model for him and a wonderful dad some day.

Am I just being paranoid about things? I think I'm just worried about what other people will think, but I shouldn't let that hinder my own happiness right?

if the problem is really just what people will think, then forget them!! I hope to have a child with my SO one day, though time isn't really on our side, so chances are small... still, if we do, it will be our business, and it will be about what would suit us as a family, not what anyone else might want or expect!! (But I know it's hard when everyone thinks they have the right to an opinion on these matters!)

[LeilaniJoi]

6 years is really not much of an age gap. There is 17 years between me and my guy with him being younger. If we decided to and could I'd never worry about what everyone else thought.

Kind of wish we could actually.

[SouthernBelle82]

New to this site!

I have 2 bio kids.. DD5 and DS7... and an ex step that lives with me.. he is 11. Part of my problem when I think about the future is if I move away, I will likely lose custody of the 11 year old. So, it makes it hard. Only time will tell, though... relationship is still new. They don't know about him yet.. too young and all... but when/if they do meet him, I know they will all love him.

my SO has 2 kiddos also. They are both older than mine and cute as they can be.

[Ciana]

C-c-c-combo breaker!

Lol Neither me nor my SO have any children, but I felt here would be a good time to share a little bit of our history because my SO was suppose to have a child with his ex fiance last year in Febuary or so. I have heard plenty of stories to know just how crazy that woman was (wanting a child solely for his color of eyes which sounds creepy in itself lol) but that is another story for another time.

We met through a role play forum that has a very close knit community and everyone there treats new members like family and are amazingly supportive. My SO's best friend was already on the site for some months, and my SO joined when he heard about the family atmosphere. (As well as some things he heard members did in the actual role play, and he actually fell in love with a few of my own characters before we ever met!) So after he joined, he became one of the family easily within a few weeks and was welcomed with open arms. I had already been a part of the site for five or so months.
But after only being online for a few weeks... the baby his then fiance was carrying died and she had a miscarriage. It devestated him. Things happened afterwards and they broke up, too, but he was so torn up over losing what was suppose to be his child. He talked with plenty of members often and we tried to support him through it. He eventually made peace, him and his ex setting up candles and having a small farwell for the child that no one would ever meet.
There was a point in the following weeks that my SO was actually so distraught that he was suicidal. We were only friends back then, but still were hella close. He came into chat one day and I talked to him one on one for a while. He was clearly not okay and I tried to lift his spirits. I learned much later, when in our relationship, that he had come online that day to say goodbye. He had whisky and a bottle of sleeping pills he was going to take, without telling anyone, because he was in so much pain and no one ever asked what was wrong. By me stepping in to help him, he swears that alone saved his life, having someone do something as simple as try to cheer you up and just talk. From then he fell for me, and months later I fell for him, too.
But point of the story is that he almost had a child, but that sarrowful experiance was what ultimately brought us together.

I always disliked children and I never wanted something as superficial as marriage. Neither did my SO. I remember us even ranting with eachother on these topics long before getting together.
But now... now we both have dreams and they always involve wedding rings and little tykes running around half him and half me. I would love anything that was half him and the mere thought of having a baby with him just warms me up to my core. Logically I know I am seventeen and do not want a child anytime soon, but I can wait and I will, because the best always comes to those who are patient.

[yachica]

Hi Tanja. Sorry to hear that it's not going to well for you. I have been with my SO for almost a year, I have a son who has just turned 15 and I told him 6 months ago and he took it amazingly well - (we're a same sex couple and so I was more worried). They spent lots of time talking and laughing and joking but all of a sudden he doesn't seem bothered about even saying hi. Nothing has happened apart from him turning 15 and the moodiness setting in! She tells him she misses him and makes a massive effort with him which he likes but I really am confused as to why the sudden lack of communication from him. Maybe it's just that he isn't interested in my life and is more interested in going out with his friends. I think it's hard being in a relationship when they are children involved .... hope you ok x

UPDATE ** They get on great again now lol! She has loads of time for him and he loves laughing and joking with her. His spanish is coming along great too and he is even teaching her some English.

[Tanja]

UPDATE ** They get on great again now lol! She has loads of time for him and he loves laughing and joking with her. His spanish is coming along great too and he is even teaching her some English.

That's wonderful news

[yachica]

Thanks Tanja ,,, how are you? x

[waynestreet]

I have 3 children, my gf has a daughter. We have known each other for close to 2 years. We are both married.
I live in the midwest and she is in the south. Ive flown down a few times and she has come up once. We are both seperated, but due to financial circumstances she has to live with her husband who is extremely verbally abusive since this was brought out.
In order for me to be with her I will have to move to her, and unfortunately move away from my children. I'm going through all the options of how i can successfully do this and still remain a constant in my children's lives.
I know she is my soulmate and we have become best friends, its a tough situation.
The thing is Im madly in love with this woman and she with me. I

[aniay]

I have a 6 year old daughter with my ex husband, She didn't meet my SO yet but she will in just 9 days (I am as excited as terrified) My SO is English and while my kido knows some english words she's not fluent and I am a bit afraid how they will comunicate.

Living in Poland is not easy and with two kinda half-time jobs and studies on the go I can't really live without help of my parents so I planned to move to england anyway only right now I'd rather move RIGHT NO
Thankfully my ex is not having issues with me moving out as long as I get a job in UKthat allows me to pay my bills and live with my kido there.

I wanted to go this year, hoping that moving out for her would be easier but I'd have to leave her for a month or two and with her dad moving out just few months ago she's having her issues.

I decided to finish my studies and then move, she'll be older, it will be harder for her to leave Poland but hopefully easier to understand that her mum left only for short period of time to make our lives better.

[amy_panda]

I have 2 toddlers and he has no kids (but wants at least one of his own)

he's very understanding. they never had their dad around. My little boy is autistic so it makes it so we can't be the ones to move (even though I'd love to be living back out there ).

they don't really know about him. they're only 3 and 4, so they wouldn't understand yet. hopefully they'll meet him one day!

[ttfit2]

I have a 14 year old son who is about to start high school August 2013. My SO doesn't have any children. Our relationship is still new. I wouldn't relocate my son and I while my son is in high school. It would be too difficult on him. Once my son goes to college, I would definitely move to my SO's state. My son doesn't specifically know about my SO although I think he has a clue something is going on. My SO sent me roses for Valentine's Day and my son asked me who they were from. I said a friend and my son said, "Mom, I thought you didn't want a boyfriend." He asked if the flowers were from the guy I talk to on the phone every night. I said yes. He asked me if I had met him yet. He asked me that question because my son does know that I do internet dating. I avoided the question. He didn't press me for an answer. My SO asks about my son all the time, gives me advice about "man" things.

My SO's parents are in their 80's and he really is all they have. My SO's sister is not well and cannot help out the parents. He wouldn't leave his elderly parents to fend for themselves. His parents don't live with him but he goes to see about them every week. One time his father fell and his mother called him to help her pick him up. His mom is 81 and his dad is 82. I wouldn't want him to leave them. That's part of what I love about him, how he is there for his parents. I have a brother who lives near me and can be there for me mom if she needed anything so I would feel comfortable moving.

I am nervous about telling my son about my SO. He saw how horrible my ex treated me and how my ex (not my son's father) started to treat him. He would be nervous that someone may not be good to me and change like my ex did. I have been a single parent the majority of my son's life. His biological father is not in his life. I wouldn't want him to worry when I go visit my SO. I don't want to wait a whole year to tell him either and then have him think like why didn't you tell me.

[Ahava]

He has an 11 year old son and I have 5 and 8 year old daughters. We talk about our kids alot. He has met mine and it went really well even though they dont have a language in common. He takes an interest in them and got them christmas presents and birthday presents etc. I haven't met his son yet.
Our children fit into our relationship well but are also the reason why we will be in LD indefinately.

[wideeyedwonder]

I have a three year old son. SO doesn't have any and we have spoken about having children together one day. We will most likely relocate in summer 2014, just before my son starts school. We didn't start off as a LDR so my son and my SO know each other really well and luckily for me they adore each other.

[80anthea]

I have a 4 year old girl from a previous relationship. SO has been wonderful about her, he hasn't got any children of his own and I was worried he'd be put off at first when he found out I had a child, but he wasn't at all