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    People looking after your kids

    Slightly a weird off topic question but since there is a new section I thought I'd ask.
    Today while i was out babysitting I had to go to the washroom. I was with a two year old so I took his stroller into the stall facing away from me while I went, but I'm thinking he is also at the point where in a few months he might be to aware of what's going on for me to be comfortable bringing him in. Then I was thinking what I would do if I was with his older brother who is 5. I'm not sure I'd want him in the stall with me but I also am not sure about leaving him outside?

    What are your views on this? If someone is looking after your kid is it weird to have them in a stall, would you be comfortable with the carer leaving them outside the stall? Just any thoughts you have and would like to share would be cool too.

    #2
    No way would I leave mine outside... simply too dangerous. When my kids were little I always took them in with me. Even when they are potty trained they still may need "help" themselves when they need to go in a public place. Kids don't equate "potty" with anything dirty unless the parent has instilled that in them. When they are old enough to "go" on their own, I always stayed right outside the stall - usually giving instructions O.o lol but until that time, they went into the stall with me. They knew I was "going potty" but there was more interest in trying to sneak out under the door then in what I was doing and it doesn't seem to have hurt them. It's really no different than waking a young potty trained child up to go in the night to avoid a bed wetting and having to help because they are sound asleep. My son we would get up, stand him at the pot, pull his pants down and I'd have to hold the "item" down because it was pointing straight up O.O He never woke up, he'd sleep pee and decorate the wall if I didn't LOL

    Honestly, I don't think it's until they are older that it becomes an issue. I've seen people bring 8 and 9 year old boys into a ladies room which I'm not comfortable with, but when they are little it really isn't an issue. It's not like you're going to show them details of all the working parts, you simply sit down and, well... go I'd love to hear other opinions on this though and I'm sure some wouldn't agree with me, but frankly, I'd rather have them see me on the john than stand outside at 3 or 4 years old and risk all the dangers in our society now. My biggest fear for awhile with my son was when he was big enough to go on his own into the mens room and what might be waiting for him. It's a sad testimony of today's society when you have to scare kids about strangers to keep them safe... ugh.
    Last edited by LeilaniJoi; June 12, 2012, 10:32 AM.
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      #3
      Hmm this is tricky, and I have no children, but I've seen this happen many times so thought I'd comment

      The best option that I've seen (and what I do when baby sitting) is keeping them out the stall but holding a conversation with them, so that you'd be able to know they are OK, and also limit the amount of destruction they could make (there is only so much you can tp or flood a bathroom while talking ;P)

      Another thing I've seen is letting the older brother "look after" his younger brother for a few minutes while you go. At 5 I think he would love being handed some sort of control and will take it very seriously and will stay in the allocated place like just outside the bathroom, a very close bench or whatever. (I don't recommend this, but as I've said have seen others do this!)

      As I said, I don't have children, so cant comment on what I would personally do, but hope you figure out a good way to use the bathroom with them!
      Last edited by GrandSupreme; June 12, 2012, 10:45 AM.

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        #4
        While they're under the age of five or so they don't seem to think anything of it when you use the bathroom; for safety's sake I'd say it's much better to take them into a public cubicle with you than risk leaving them outside. With the children I've babysat for, if we've been out for many hours and I know I can't hold it until we get home I've simply kept them distracted while I go, and done that as quickly as possible! If the child is still comfortable with asking you to come inside the bathroom with them when they need to use it (from what I've seen they become more self-conscious around the age of six), I'm sure they don't care if they happen to see you doing so as well
        Last edited by lademoiselle; June 12, 2012, 10:46 AM.

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          #5
          The only time I have left children I was caring for "in public" was when I was watching them while at school and they were sat in front of the computers. It was a very small, very safe school, so I had no issue with darting off to the bathroom and setting the youngest up with a computer game. You can imagine how pissed I was when I came back from the bathroom and saw the youngest sitting on a metal chair by the unlocked door at the end of the hallway. I asked the librarian (notorious bitch, btw) about it and she gave me some snotty response about how children aren't supposed to be left unsupervised. I told her that I was gone for two minutes max to go pee and had set him up with a computer game and that next time I'd report when I was simply going to the bathroom then (she claimed not to know I was watching him despite being within earshot, and eavesdropping, as the mother told me the details of watching her son while she was in a school meeting). I later told the mother who reported it to the principal and the issue was never had again. >.> Other than that, I'm a master at holding in pee.

          If I had to, however, I would probably leave the 5-year-old outside the stall and put him in charge of the youngest if I had them with me too, and do as GrandSupreme said and keep a conversation. I would never, ever leave any child that young unattended outside the bathroom completely, or even anywhere where I couldn't see their feet underneath the stall door. It's simply, unfortunately, the way that American culture is. :/ Anyone remember the Dutch mother arrested for leaving her baby outside in a stroller? I wish that most places in our country were that safe that that could be the norm, but they aren't. If it so happened that I had to pee when we were out, I'd probably wait until we got back to the house (or go with them standing right outside the stall door and keeping a conversation), and then ultimately end up consulting the mother about it. I figure there are likely times she also would have to pee while out and therefore I'd follow her lead/example.
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            #6
            Depends on where we are if im honest.

            If it's a bathroom we know and it's not too busy, i'd be ok with the 5 year old waiting outside the cubicle and talking to them through the door but the 2 year old i'd take into the cubicle with me.
            With my 6 year old girl, if we're in a strange place then she comes in the cubicle with me but in the store we always use for the food shopping she can go on her own.
            As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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              #7
              I also took them in the batroom but they had to stand outside the stall so I could see thier feet & talk to me .... much less of an issue for woman to take little boys into the woman's washroom then it is for men to take little girls into the men's washroom.

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                #8
                I'd bring a 2 year old in with me. If not, then up until recently, I've had my son stand outside the door and talk to me. He's 8 now so he refuses to go into a women's restroom with me and wait. If I have an option to use a family restroom, I will use that and make him come in with me. He's too young to leave outside on his own waiting. Do they have those as an option in the UK?

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by blankita719 View Post
                  If I have an option to use a family restroom, I will use that and make him come in with me. He's too young to leave outside on his own waiting. Do they have those as an option in the UK?
                  Some places do but most dont.

                  i used to use the baby changing station bathrooms too as sometimes they have a toilet (kiddy size) but it was a cubicle inside of another room that you could lock. So you can pee in peace but they were safe.
                  As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

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                    #10
                    If I was in a big city/busy public place I'd rather traumatize the kid by taking them in with me rather than leaving them outside and filing a missing child-report to the police.


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                      #11
                      I would not feel comfortable leaving my kids or anyone else's kids outside the stall. My 4 year old is wild and would likely run off. lol

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
                        What are your views on this? If someone is looking after your kid is it weird to have them in a stall, would you be comfortable with the carer leaving them outside the stall? Just any thoughts you have and would like to share would be cool too.
                        To be honest, though I probably shouldn't have, I have done a lot of holding it in when I've been watching my fiance's son unless we were at home, my fiance was with us, or we were at my fiance's great-aunt and grandma's house. However, just this Saturday at the park, he wanted to use the boys' bathroom, but I told him no, he had to go in the girl's restroom with me. He's five, but that park was FULL and there's too many child predators for me to have just let him go into the boys' bathroom on his own. He wasn't too happy about it, but he got over it pretty quickly.
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