My SO and I have been together for almost a year. When we met he was military. He has left the military now. I live in NY and he lives in KS. The plan was he would leave the military and move home. However he has a 4 year old daughter still in KS. He was going to court for custody, but we were sure it was a done deal, we were going to win. We had evidence against the mother where she was trying to sell furniture for narcotics, also trying to buy drugs on the internet. We have a video of her coming home at 3am drunk, child still awake playing. The mother was screaming at child that she was a mistake and ruined her body and she wished she could put her in a car and drive her off a cliff. We have a parents talking app that the judge can read where she is just constantly going off on my SO, swearing at him and being inappropriate. We have proof that she dumped red paint in child's underwear and then accused SO of abusing child, the police even showed up at his house and stated they felt it wa s marker or paint. No charges were filed. The mother was showing up at daycare on my SO days and telling the child daddy was keeping them apart, which would lead to melt downs.
With all of that being said, the judge awarded mother custody because KS is a mother state. The judge said that if my SO stays in KS then they can have shared equal custody, every other week. But if he comes home to NY then we get her every summer, every spring break, and every other Christmas or Thanksgiving. Before court I asked my SO what would happen if custody didn't go his way, he stated he would still come home and continue to do what was needed to get the child. Fast forward to after court. Now he feels he has to stay and I cant make him choose between me and his daughter.
Maybe I'm being selfish here, but these were his promises, he frequently reassured me I had nothing to worry about. I have two businesses here and my whole family, which I'm very close to. He has now asked me to drop all of those things and move to KS. This upsets me but when I try to Express that he says I just don't want to give KS a chance. Which isn't true. I've literally worked my entire life for these businesses, and I barely go a day without seeing someone in my family. I'm angry because I feel like he lied. I'm angry because I'm ridiculously in move with him, but I feel like I got dealt the short end of the stick here. What would you do? I really just need to vent and be heard. He and I never fight. We plan to get married, but I've been trying to put talks of that on hold because we cant even figure out our living situation. I don't know what to do and I feel constantly lost. I suggested continuing the long distance thing for a while, we do very well with that. But he says he can only handle the distance for another year and then he doesn't know if he can do it anymore because it hurts too much. I agree, it hurts, but we're both doing our best. Any advice?
With all of that being said, the judge awarded mother custody because KS is a mother state. The judge said that if my SO stays in KS then they can have shared equal custody, every other week. But if he comes home to NY then we get her every summer, every spring break, and every other Christmas or Thanksgiving. Before court I asked my SO what would happen if custody didn't go his way, he stated he would still come home and continue to do what was needed to get the child. Fast forward to after court. Now he feels he has to stay and I cant make him choose between me and his daughter.
Maybe I'm being selfish here, but these were his promises, he frequently reassured me I had nothing to worry about. I have two businesses here and my whole family, which I'm very close to. He has now asked me to drop all of those things and move to KS. This upsets me but when I try to Express that he says I just don't want to give KS a chance. Which isn't true. I've literally worked my entire life for these businesses, and I barely go a day without seeing someone in my family. I'm angry because I feel like he lied. I'm angry because I'm ridiculously in move with him, but I feel like I got dealt the short end of the stick here. What would you do? I really just need to vent and be heard. He and I never fight. We plan to get married, but I've been trying to put talks of that on hold because we cant even figure out our living situation. I don't know what to do and I feel constantly lost. I suggested continuing the long distance thing for a while, we do very well with that. But he says he can only handle the distance for another year and then he doesn't know if he can do it anymore because it hurts too much. I agree, it hurts, but we're both doing our best. Any advice?
Comment