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Do we start a Long Distance Relationship?

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    #1

    Do we start a Long Distance Relationship?

    Hey there!
    So I graduated college early in December. I will be starting medical school in the fall. In the meantime I decided to move to Ireland for four months as an au pair. I came over in February and not too long after I met a guy in a pub and we immediately clicked. From that moment on we spent as much time as we could together. He showed me all around his town and took me on trips to different parts of Ireland. It's been absolutely amazing and I have slowly been falling for him. He is just the perfect guy for me. Unfortunately he got a new job in London and will be moving there in a couple weeks. I have plans to visit him not long after. But after that I have to go back to the US for school which will be at least 8 years. What do we do? We can Skype often and visit each other a few times, but that can get really expensive. I really like him and I don't want this relationship to end, but is it worth it to start a LDR?
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    #2
    Honestly, it's really up to you guys and if you are ready to make that commitment. How does he feel about it? Have you guys talked about it? It can be done, Although our distance isn't quite as big as your's...or not even close, my SO and I have been LD for over 5 years. If it's something you BOTH want, then why not? Worth a shot?

    "True love isn't about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
    Married April 18th, 2015!!
    Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!

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      #3
      my reply to you would be "Which will you regret more, the trying and seeing if it works (even if it then doesn't) or the not trying at all, and then always wondering?

      I was in a similar boat, and while for me it did not end happily ever after, I would have regretted not trying more... and I still feel that way even though it ended with my heart being broken, because I learnt a lot about my self in the process.

      If yoy are both willing to give it a shot, then try it by all means - don;t focus too much on the future and the end date, as life has a way of altering our plans I find.

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        #4
        The question you need to answer is, how well do like him? International LDRs are expensive, but worth it for the right person.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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          #5
          Originally posted by Mims27 View Post
          Honestly, it's really up to you guys and if you are ready to make that commitment. How does he feel about it? Have you guys talked about it? It can be done, Although our distance isn't quite as big as your's...or not even close, my SO and I have been LD for over 5 years. If it's something you BOTH want, then why not? Worth a shot?
          This ^^^

          I agree talk to him about it when you go over there and see if it's something you both want.

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            #6
            would he be able to move to you? 8 years it's a lot of time, and full time job and studies won't really allow you guys to meet as often as you would like to. you can always start an LDR and see how you feel about and how it goes. maybe he'll get a new job somewhere closer to you? (although getting job in usa is not as easy). i'd say it's always worth a try.

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              #7
              I am in an international LDR that has no end in sight. It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do, and I have really struggled with it. But that's exactly the thing: I HAD to do it. I knew within months that I wanted to see where this was going to go and ~6 months later when we actually had to part, there wasn't even a question on either one of our minds. Before I met my SO, I had turned down a very nice guy that lived about an hour away from me because "I didn't want to do long distance" and then a couple months later I turned around and decided to have an international LDR. With that being said, I really, truly think that you know what you need to do. If there's a part of you that really doubts then I think that means something. I also think that if you feel like you would move heaven and earth to be together one day that means something just as important.

              As far as the LDR goes, because it's international, one (or both) of you needs to be willing to move in order for it to be even realistic. With your chosen career path, it seems pretty difficult for you to eventually make the move. Is he willing to move to the US? It doesn't necessarily have to be in the near future, but the basic idea can make or break a LDR. Even if marriage or what not is a long ways away, you need to have that end point in mind for it to ever work LD. Otherwise, you'll start to wonder what the point is when you're only seeing your SO once a year or however often. You have a lot to think about and talk about with your SO. Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions and "scare him off" because those are the important ones that people in LDR's need to talk about substantially sooner than CD relationships.

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