Trusting it will last

[Taki]

Sorry, but I, as man, do not agree. It's not the nudes that do the trick. It's the trust and attention that does it. If there is love and trust, there is no need to look around you, no matter how far you're apart from each other. No nude pic can change that. IMHO.

I'm not even the OP but I have to say your reply set my mind at ease too.

[Honour]

Sorry, but I, as man, do not agree. It's not the nudes that do the trick. It's the trust and attention that does it. If there is love and trust, there is no need to look around you, no matter how far you're apart from each other. No nude pic can change that. IMHO.

Agreed. And as for international LDRs, my SO and I are 5500ish miles apart. Sometimes it feels like he's in the same room as me. Other times, he feels so far away it's near impossible. But where there's a will there's a way, and when you both know it's a fight worth battling for, and you both have the want to make it work, the sky's the limit, and anything is possible.

[Hersheybar]

Sigh. My BF and I are 9700 miles and 11.5 hours apart. It's tough.

Wow I would think so, very tough

[jarrybotter]

To me it sounds like you are simply having trouble adjusting to the distance. Im sure most people on this forum have at some point, even if just for a short time, felt doubt our relationships would work out long term. It really is just a case of working through any issues you have AS SOON AS THEY COME UP - I cannot stress that enough. Bottling your true feelings up inside NEVER does any good - it just creates a deeper well of emotion that can get nasty when it finally builds up enough to surface.

Even if you feel like a shitty person cuz youre always finding something to doubt, you need to let him know. If he is really in this long term he will prove that with his love and patience as many times as you need it until your doubts go away - but you also need to put in the same amount of effort for him, perhaps in other ways if he doesnt feel doubt (such as thoughtful surprises, being there for him always etc). Good communication, trust and willpower to get through the hard times is key.

It sounds like you guys will only be apart for a year - is this correct? I can tell you it took me 3 years to get to a point where I completely and utterly trusted that this would last and that he would be the man I would grow old with. Some people, me included, doubt the longevity of relationships because we have never experienced a person truly beleiving we are worth that level of commitment and love. If youre in that boat too it might take you a while to trust completely as well. Everyone moves at a different pace for different reasons. If he accepts you for who you are, he will prove himself and I promise if he does that consistently (even with a few hiccups), the doubt will go away. But like the others said, try not to worry too much and work on developing yourself and your life while he does his thing.

One final point - is he Japanese? If he is, there is nowhere near as much of a "player" culture for men as there is in western society, unless they are famous. I was on exchange in Japan for a four months and attended a mixed high school and honestly the girls and guys are so segregated they ate lunch in seperate classrooms - not because they have to but because it is just the culture. Yes they have girlfriends and boyfriends but it is nowhere near the frequency it occurs in western high schools and you would never see them kiss or anything at school. University is often the first time the two sexes can socially mix in a group. If he is Japanese I really wouldnt worry about that much.

There is a definitely huge culture difference between Japan and America, and it could be hard for him to adjust, but only time will tell what country you'll both end up in if you decide to be together - try not to stress about things that dont fundamentally matter to you two being together cuz you can be together in any country.