My SO and I would prefer to live together before being married but the nature of International LDR is that it may not be possible.But whether we were to just move together or get married first, it will be a very large decision with a lot of forethought. My ex husband and I just kinda slid into living together... basically to get rid of a roomate who was way too dependent on him.. Then when things didn't work out, I moved out.. but we didn't break up and somehow he ended up sliding into living with me at my mother's. We grew apart in the time before then and I lost all my attraction to him... but I had become too dependent on our relationship to leave. But after a while I did try to leave. Twice. Both times were extremely traumatic and he involved my whole family in the process.. he was also very good at making me doubt my ability to make it on my own.. and he completely broke down and I felt too guilty to leave... After the second time, I felt like maybe we should get married. Maybe I was unhappy because our relationship wasn't progressing... so this is how we slid into marriage.. and subsequently lid into having children...
The big thing I took away from the original post wasn't so much that the legal documents of marriage kept people together but just the fact that some people who take marriage seriously and discuss it thoroughly before the fact may be more equipped in moving in together? Of course this is not everyone... but after my experiences, I would not make the mistake of moving in with someone so fast. (I moved with my ex-husband after being with him 2 months)... It is actually the one luxury of our ldr and how long it is taking until we can close the distance, we actively discuss the logistics of living together and are trying to work out many of our problems and discussing and practicing problem-solving issues. I think this comes out of both experience, age (I'm 32 now!) and having no choice but to take things slow... I feel that if we do get married, I will be much better equipped to deal with married life because of the amount of thought we have put into it...
The big thing I took away from the original post wasn't so much that the legal documents of marriage kept people together but just the fact that some people who take marriage seriously and discuss it thoroughly before the fact may be more equipped in moving in together? Of course this is not everyone... but after my experiences, I would not make the mistake of moving in with someone so fast. (I moved with my ex-husband after being with him 2 months)... It is actually the one luxury of our ldr and how long it is taking until we can close the distance, we actively discuss the logistics of living together and are trying to work out many of our problems and discussing and practicing problem-solving issues. I think this comes out of both experience, age (I'm 32 now!) and having no choice but to take things slow... I feel that if we do get married, I will be much better equipped to deal with married life because of the amount of thought we have put into it...
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