Why do people get married?

[lucybelle]

I was thinking- a lot of people keep saying "in case of emergencies they can make decisions for me" which I totally agree with. But how do doctors know you're married? I didn't change my last name so we have quite different last names. Do you list it somewhere on your insurance or something? Would a spouse have to bring in proof that they're a spouse? I wonder how that works.

[digitalfever]

I was thinking- a lot of people keep saying "in case of emergencies they can make decisions for me" which I totally agree with. But how do doctors know you're married? I didn't change my last name so we have quite different last names. Do you list it somewhere on your insurance or something? Would a spouse have to bring in proof that they're a spouse? I wonder how that works.

You have to actually appoint a person to make your end of life decisions. When my mother was passing she appointed my aunt and it was actually stated in a legal document that all end of life decisions were to go through my aunt.

You do need some sort of "proof". You can't just bust in and start making decisions. A lot of the times this is a real source of conflict. Parents try to make end of life decisions or even siblings try to over power or take over the process. It's not as simple as "I told them I wanted this..." As soon as the real pressure is on people change.

[Black_Halloween]

I think the most common reason why people say "Its just a piece of paper" is because they often look at other relationships and forget their own. "It happened to them so it must happen to me". Which is, in my opinion, the stupidest thing ever. Its the fear of the unknown but what most people forget is that everything in life is uncertain. You just have to live it day by day.

[rina]

There are so many aspects to look at this "problem" and i will list some in no particular order:

-I personally like things nice and simple, and having a marriage certificate makes things so easy, especially if you're the one moving. All those legal loopholes, permits, visas, paperwork etcetcetcetc just become easier and faster and cheaper.

-I am now 26 years old and referring to my So as my "boyfriend" sounds teen-ish. Maybe i'm panicking cause I'm getting close to 30 and I want to be mature and settled in by then, and makes the think like this, but honestly seeing people 30,40,50 years old talking about their boyfriends/girlfriends just sounds weird to me.

-I think marriage brings people closer together and makes them realize they have something strong. Nothing actually changes between the two of you, but in your mind you're both changing and being drawn closer. I had this realization when we went from best friends to a couple, and i was right, nothing felt different and we're still the same, but now we can express our love and things just keep betting better.

-Kids. I just can't see a kid in an unmarried couple.

-Status. I hate situations in which someone asks a polite question and you end up having to explain the relationship.

-Commitment. This is the most important one for me. I have always been serious and devoted in my relationships, even in my teen years and I strongly believe that marriage can be a beautiful gift we give to each other, and yes, i want a 60 year marriage anniversary cake!

kktnxbye sleepy, and can't structure this right to make sense.

[leonsfangirl]

The first time, because i felt i should. I had been with him for 8 years and had 2 children so felt it was what was expected of me and what would be the right thing to do.

The second time, because i wanted to make that commitment. Because i love the bones of this man and wanted to be family unit with him in every sense of the word. We share a bond that can't be broken, we share a future vision and now we share a last name.

[Louise_B]

Im jumping on the wagon with most of the posters here. It would be for a Visa so we can be together and not do the LD anymore. But saying that Justin has already been marride once .. still marride from what i know. The divorce hasnt gone through. So i wouldnt want him to rush into another marriage just so we can be together. I would want him to propose when he feels like its right. Not because he feel slike he has too!

[bethyylovee]

To keep it short... We are getting married because we want to make the commitment. To us, it is not just a piece of paper. We are both Christians, and we believe that marriage is a religious thing - not a government thing (that's a different thread, though, I think).

This! We're the same way, as Christians we believe that you take that step into commitment and life. And I'm perfectly okay with that!

[floridaellen]

I want to get married for mostly religious reasons. I want my SO and I to be one in God's eyes. I want us to be life partners and eventually raise our children as a family unit. I want him to be able to make important medical decisions for me if I ever have a medical emergency. I want him to be my other half, religiously and legally.

[Moon]

For the presents

[lucybelle]

For the presents

When I got married one of my neighbors thought I was insane for not having a registry. And then spent a few days trying to convince me to make one. She was all like "even if you don't need anything, you can still ask for stuff"

[13000km]

When I got married one of my neighbors thought I was insane for not having a registry. And then spent a few days trying to convince me to make one. She was all like "even if you don't need anything, you can still ask for stuff"

I got the same reactions! "You HAVE to have a shower!", "make a registry anyway!" But, we plan on moving, internationally, when I graduate in a year. It just doesn't make sense to get a bunch of things, then have to give it away/sell it less than 2 years later. We already have too much crap is it is.

[Malaga]

For me, marriage is an important symbol of commitment. I'd be reluctant to further commit, ie have kids and family with a guy who can't sign his name under the promise of commitment. I know this promise doesn't mean it'll last forever, but it's an important statement of intent - that we'll do everything we can to make it work. It's not a religious thing for me, it's just personal.

I dread the wedding though, I don't care for any of the details like the dress, venue, party, seating arrangements and centrepieces, ugh. I know I'll have to have it though, for everyone else's sake. Also, yes, for the presents.

Aside from that, there is also the visa reason.

[Klarka]

My lady friend got engaged few weeks ago ... i was so happy for her i always dreamed bout mine but now when my bf started to have some wiered comments and thoughts about getting married.....i think i freaked out! What if he asks? I am not ready i thimk and i am so affraid its too soon .... can i say no? But dont want to loose him i love him....

[Remy]

There's a a few reasons we would like to eventually get married..

1. Because we love each other and would like to take that next step in our relationship

2. Legal rights, forbid something happens to either of us and then we are denied the right to see each other because we're technically not 'legal family'

3. BECAUSE I FRICKIN' LOVE HER AND WANT TO BE COMMITTED TO HER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!

...did I mention I love her?

[ushiwakafox]

I got the same reactions! "You HAVE to have a shower!", "make a registry anyway!" But, we plan on moving, internationally, when I graduate in a year. It just doesn't make sense to get a bunch of things, then have to give it away/sell it less than 2 years later. We already have too much crap is it is.

Man I would love to have a registry (free stuff!!) but with my SO being overseas for two years, and me living with his parents, I think it would be too much stuff, and stuff that we won't need for a while anyway. Money would really be the most helpful for us since I'll still have a semester left in school and will also be getting my MLT certification. We'll need all the help we can get!

But anyway, marriage means a lot to me, and probably it will be the same for most of us here. First and foremost it's that ultimate level of commitment and, in a way, stability. I know that sounds weird, but for me that's what it symbolizes for my SO and I. I remember a time a few years back when I really wanted to take that next step in our relationship and get engaged, but he was not having any of that. To him, it wasn't time because neither of us were financially ready for it, and he would not be able to take care of me, put in his own words. Now that he's in the military, I guess he decided that our future is stable enough to enter that step in our lives.

It also means the promise of a more permenant CDR someday. I know we will always deal with distance at some point or another, but when he finally comes home he'll be coming home to me

And last but not least, being a Christian woman I believe that marriage is a holy union; we love each other so we are to become one, united in marriage under God.