Bridesmaid - how to ask?

[snow]

I'm going to get married next year around October and since my fiancé is going to have a best man and 2 groomsmen I want to have a maid of honor and 2 bridesmaids.

I know I want to ask his big sister, who we are sharing an apartment with, to be my maid of honor, but I really don't know how to go about it. I'd also like to ask his 2 other sisters to be my bridesmaids. My future brother-in-law told me that there might be a conflict if I don't make all sisters the same, but since I live with his big sister and we see each other every day and talk every day I feel much closer to her than the others, whom I see once every one or two weeks.

I'm not a very outspoken person, rather introverted, so I thought about getting each a little something like a bracelet, or a cheesy ring, and put it in the mailbox with a message.

So I wanted to ask you how you did it and maybe get some inspiration

[snow_girl]

When my friend asked me we were out for coffee and i was asking all about the engagement and planning and then she just said "i'd like you to be my bridesmaid" and I said ok. I don't think it has to be anything special.

[Karlijn92]

Haha, I'm in the exact same situation! I'm gonna ask my brother to be my best man (Yeah, I don't really have a maid of honor, lol). Anyway, I also had some difficulty finding an original idea to ask him. Currently he's studying abroad, so I thought it'd be cute/original to make some sort of scavenger hunt with clues to make him find out I want him to be my best man when he gets home. My best friend is gonna be my bridesmaid (I actually consider her my maid of honor..) and I was planning to make her some cupcakes (she loves baking and cookies etc.) with clues on it.
But your idea of a ring or bracelet is cute too! Is there maybe you two have in common or something?

[80anthea]

The thing I learned about wedding planning is you'll NEVER keep everyone happy so if his other sisters complain then stick to your guns and do what is best for YOU.

[Anoulie]

Maybe it's because I'm German (but then again, you're Austrian, so our cultures shouldn't be that different), but I don't really see why this is such a big deal. Just talk to them and when the subject of the wedding comes up, say, "By the way, would you like to be my bridesmaid/maid of honor?" or "I've been thinking about who I'd like to be my bridesmaids, and I'd love to have you and [sisters]." or just "Bridesmaids. Wanna be one?" It's not like you're asking for their hand in marriage.

[nicole]

There are plenty of "will you be my bridesmaid?" cards out there, if you're too shy to outright ask

I asked my little sister-in-law in person, and my other bridesmaid... I actually don't remember asking her, I think it was just assumed from the beginning lol The only drama I had was my sister bitching about not being asked (we do NOT get along), but I don't live in the same country so I didn't have to hear it. If the other sisters get upset, that's their own problem- just hold your ground and have your SO back you up.

[snow]

Thank you so much for the input ladies

80anthea and nicole, you're right! I don't want to make them all my maid of honors or all bridesmaids since his big sister is really, really close to me so I will just stick to my opinion and hope the other two are fine with it and if not, I'm sure my man will back me up!

snow_girl and Anoulie, I do agree that if I had to pick a witness it would be much different and I would just straight out ask, but having bridesmaids and a maid of honor feels kind of different (more special?) and that's why I wanted to know if asking would be fine or if having a bigger thing would be more appropriate.

Karlijin92, I wish my family would come, because I'd love to have my twin be my maid of honor, but she flat out told me she won't be attending before I even brought it up :P You're lucky!!