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How do people feel about a woman proposing to a man?

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    #1

    How do people feel about a woman proposing to a man?

    I know there was a thread about this a few years ago, but I am curious to hear opinions now. My SO and I were watching a stand-up comedian (Ed Byrne) and he had a routine about proposals. I sort of made a joke about me proposing to him, and then I started thinking "wow, wouldn't that be liberating! I wouldn't have to wonder and stress about it, it would be up to me to decide." I know it is not as simple as that, but still ... what do you guys think?

    ETA: I apologize to all the LGBT peeps if they feel I am not including them. Please tell me your opinion, it is just that I am in a relationship with a guy and I am wondering about this particular dynamic.
    83
    Yes.
    83.13%
    69
    No, it has to be the man doing the proposing
    16.87%
    14
    Last edited by OperaDiva; April 5, 2014, 06:23 AM.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I am just not used to anyone making a big deal of proposals. People just sort of decide to take the next step. I am used to people nagging me on this. I would not mind popping the question myself, it is just for me making a display out of it just seem silly. I am more on the side of at some point you just know, and when you have the resources you do it.
    Last edited by differentcountries; April 5, 2014, 09:59 AM.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      I see no reason why the girl should not propose. Our relationship is built on mutual respect for each other, not the fact that he is a boy and I am a girl. I hope we are moving towards a world with more equality, where we don´t even have to ask this kind of questions.

      I remember asking my parents, that have been married for 24 years now, who of them proposed. They answered no one, it was just the time and they loved each other. I didn´t quit get that when I was a kid, of course someone had to actually propose. But now I see it totally different. Why would my boyfriend propose to me out of nowhere, hoping I would say yes. Is it not better that we have a rational discussion about it, which leads to a mutual agreement that we will get married.

      Comment

        #4
        I didn't vote because I didnt agree with either option. I don't care who proposes, although personal preference- I prefer it if the man proposes.
        Originally posted by SaraHonRara View Post
        Why would my boyfriend propose to me out of nowhere, hoping I would say yes. Is it not better that we have a rational discussion about it, which leads to a mutual agreement that we will get married.
        That's not always the case. My husband and I had talked marriage, had a date, and already decided we were going to get married when he took me on a surprise trip and proposed. He wasn't "hoping" I'd say yes, he knew I would but he wanted to give me a beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime memory for us. I wouldn't change that for anything. You can have both the rational discussion and a proposal. They're not mutually exclusive.

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          #5
          Originally posted by dglynn77 View Post
          I didn't vote because I didnt agree with either option. I don't care who proposes, although personal preference- I prefer it if the man proposes.
          That's what I was asking about, but the question field was really short. What I wanted to ask was - if you are a woman, would you propose? Or if you are a man, would you be comfortable with your SO proposing to you?

          It is really interesting, I was reading the old thread and most women there said "it doesn't have to be the man, but I would never ever propose / I am really old-fashioned, he should fall on his knee with the ring, etc."

          Comment

            #6
            There is nothing wrong with a woman proposing to a man! Recently a friend of my man's girlfriend proposed to him and I thought it was super sweet! I wouldn't think it's inappropriate at all!

            However in our relationship it would not have worked. The dynamics of our relationship would not have allowed that and it would have been really awkward if I did.

            Relationship began: 05/22/2012
            First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
            Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
            Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
            Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
            Married: 1/24/2015
            Became Resident: 9/14/2015

            Comment

              #7
              It was important for me to be proposed to. We decided to get married together, even had a wedding date and dress before he proposed. But I told him he still needed to propose. Whoever wants to propose in a relationship should do so. I think it's great either way.

              Comment

                #8
                I see that a lot of people say it is important that their is a proposal. And I really want to understand, because I don´t see a value in a proposal. Will some of you who think it is important that their is a proposal, try to explain what value it holds?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by SaraHonRara View Post
                  I see that a lot of people say it is important that their is a proposal. And I really want to understand, because I don´t see a value in a proposal. Will some of you who think it is important that their is a proposal, try to explain what value it holds?
                  What she said.
                  I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                  - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                  "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I would feel pretty down if he never proposed. To me, a proposal is just about making a sweet memory. The only part of the proposal I want is to hear him say, in undoubtable seriousness, that I'm the only one for him. As much effort as there is in an LDR (or really any relationship), I think it tends to get muted a little when it's just an everyday show of affection. Marriage/co-habitation is a huge step, and I think a special memory to bookmark it is important. It doesn't really matter who is doing the proposing.

                    It's a bit like graduation ceremonies. You know you've graduated. Logically, there's no reason to walk up a stage to receive a blank paper with a bow on it, but it's also a nice way to mark a turning point. A proposal should never literally be asking someone to marry you. You should ideally both know far in advance.. It's just a sweet thing to look back on.

                    Married: June 9th, 2015

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Graduation ceremony is another thing I find quite exotic.
                      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by CanadianGirl View Post
                        A proposal should never literally be asking someone to marry you. You should ideally both know far in advance.. It's just a sweet thing to look back on.
                        I agree. You should never propose if you are not 100% sure the answer is going to be yes. To me it is a beautiful memory he gave me and also showing that he is serious about this relationship and that he chose to go this next step. Basically that he is sure that he wants to spend his life with me.

                        Relationship began: 05/22/2012
                        First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
                        Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
                        Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
                        Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
                        Married: 1/24/2015
                        Became Resident: 9/14/2015

                        Comment

                          #13
                          My parents became engaged when my father was filling out health insurance forms and came to a spousal question. "We're getting married, right? We've been together for five years, live together, like each other..." And that was that.

                          A proposal is not entirely important to me. It would be sweet to see him down on a knee, ring in hand, but the "rational conversation" that a few others mentioned before holds a lot more precendent to me. I totally want a ring, though.

                          So, to (finally) answer the question: I'm all for women asking men to marry them. I'd even do it myself, but not in the knee/ring way, just bringing up the conversation. And then insist we find a ring once he accepted.
                          ~~~

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Tough question. Deep in my heart I think I'd like to be proposed to, the romantic way... But in reality, I can see why it doesn't really matter how it is done, or who does it, having a healthy relationship to base a lifetime on is of course the most important thing.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I find this truly fascinating (like in the old thread). People don't see a problem with the woman proposing, but few would do it, and most only if the guy did not propose first ... it is like it is ingrained in our brains that if you do it, it has to be the guy. I don't know yet if I will do it or he will, we are not there yet in our relationship, but it is a really interesting case of established gender roles. (not saying it's bad or good either way)

                              As for the "needing a proposal", hm. It does seem to be an important milestone for some people, other just don't see it like that. Now that a lot of couples live together, some for years, before getting married if they do at all, some of the importance of proposals seems to be going down.

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