Tell me your thoughts

[nicole]

I agree with everyone here, its tasteless and rude. There are ways to keep a smaller budget if you can't afford a big wedding yourselves. It seems like you're making your guests pay an entrance fee to your wedding! I wonder what made them think putting a specific amount was acceptable!

[CanadianGirl]

I'm sorry, but why the age of 15??? This is a good way to lose all their young family/single parent/college-student friends all in one shot. Also, why underline it? Asking for money over gifts is fine by me, but this is just rude. I think they should've just stuck to a smaller budget instead of shaking down their guests, who're already making the time to come.

[TwoThree]

^ Because 16 year-olds are rolling in cash, duh!

Is it just me who would never even spend that kind of money on a wedding gift for someone other than my siblings or closest friends?

[merlinkitty]

I'm on the agree bandwagon. I get the not wanting gifts stuff. I keep trying to get rid of things people give me that I don't want or need. Asking for money isn't necessarily a bad thing, I guess. Maybe I'm more used to seeing it in a "donate to x charity" instead. I'd personally feel better saying something like "we're not looking for gifts, but if you feel the need, please donate instead to blahblah charity" like people due for funerals in lieu of flowers.

Asking for a specific amount is just offensive, though. Frankly, the people might not be worth $75 to me. What if I wanted to spend $10 on their gift or that's all I could afford? If you can't afford the wedding you're planning maybe you should plan for the wedding you can afford.

[Miasmata]

Nah, not just you, TwoThree. I love making gifts, but I focus on how useful/enriching it will be to the receiver, not how expensive it was. If there's something I know the receiver will really enjoy, the price doesn't have to be high to make it a good gift. Weddings are no exception to that. Hell, I've made my mom's Christmas when I got her a teapot that was like 20 dollars, simply because it was a legit good one. As tacky as it sounds, you can't put a pricetag on a thoughtful gift and/or a person's time. Asking people to attend your event AND toss a minimum amount of money down your throat is ungrateful behaviour par excellence.

[Dziubka]

I understand asking for money as a wedding present. I guess most people, who don't know you super well, would probably give you money anyway. But I heard there are still people out there who believe in the typical traditional wedding presents of pots, towels, irons, tableware, etc. (Maybe those over 60? I have no idea) and most people who get married nowadays already have that stuff. If you're inviting 100+ people to your wedding, not everyone's going to know you well enough to get you a personal present. I guess it's pretty normal to just give cash as a wedding gift.

In short: I don't really think that asking for money is necessary, but I don't think it's tacky.

Asking for a specfic amount is extremely rude and bad taste. I don't even know how they thought it was ok to write that?
We had a very small ceremony but my SO's family insisted on sending announcements before, because they thought it was rude to tell people after the fact (cue eyeroll). I had such a difficult time wording them in a way that they didn't seem like we were just telling them because we wanted presents. (and they didn't even say anything about presents!).
I agree with everyone: If you need a certain amount of money from each guest to afford your wedding, then you're having a wedding you can't afford. I would feel awful if one of the people I invited felt like they couldn't come, because they couldn't afford a present.

[nicole]

^ Because 16 year-olds are rolling in cash, duh!

Is it just me who would never even spend that kind of money on a wedding gift for someone other than my siblings or closest friends?

tbh, I'd probably only spend more than $75 on my SIL, even my close friends it would probably be $50, let alone $75 EACH. For most weddings these days, unless all your guests live in the same town, you're asking them to spend money on flights/travel and a hotel for at least 1 night. $75 for each guest is bad. Especially if you're letting them invite a + 1, meaning the guest they invited or their date has to fork out an extra $75 on top of that.

[snow_girl]

My friend got this invitation from her husbands friend and fiancée. She asked me to read it and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Fine if you want to ask that instead of material gifts, gifting some money towards a honeymoon or something, but to pretty much say you are requesting they bring $75 each is pretty bold. If say my family was invited to a wedding it would cost $300 for the 4 of us, which is not at all what we would spend on a gift. If you can't afford to have a wedding don't have one. If say 100 people over 15 yo were in attendance that's $7500! I don't think its right at all.

[Lilly9886]

That invitation reminded me of one I saw a while ago, where both bride and groom put down their account numbers and asked people to send them money...

Just like in the case of snow_girl's invitation it just bothers me and I think it is very impolite...

[merlinkitty]

My friend got this invitation from her husbands friend and fiancée. She asked me to read it and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Fine if you want to ask that instead of material gifts, gifting some money towards a honeymoon or something, but to pretty much say you are requesting they bring $75 each is pretty bold. If say my family was invited to a wedding it would cost $300 for the 4 of us, which is not at all what we would spend on a gift. If you can't afford to have a wedding don't have one. If say 100 people over 15 yo were in attendance that's $7500! I don't think its right at all.

Maybe I'm just getting crotchety in my old age, but I'd tell them to eff off, and block them from my life. I mean, what are they going to do in 20 years when the kids finally graduate high school? Charge guests over 15 years old $150 a person to pay for college tuition?!

[mllebamako]

Will I get a refund when they divorce?

[lucybelle]

Will I get a refund when they divorce?

[snow]

I'm sorry, but why the age of 15??? This is a good way to lose all their young family/single parent/college-student friends all in one shot. Also, why underline it? Asking for money over gifts is fine by me, but this is just rude. I think they should've just stuck to a smaller budget instead of shaking down their guests, who're already making the time to come.

I think the reason behind this might be so that parents leave their kids at home, because they'd have to pay for them? If so, what a shitty way to say "teenagers not allowed" :/

[differentcountries]

It is really not appropriate to ask for an attendance fee at a wedding. People should be able to decide the gifts for themselves, be it cash money or other gifts.

[Honour]

I think it's dumb. I wouldn't pay to go to a wedding lol...