Wedding Boards

[London-FortCollins]

Is anyone here a member of wedding forums such as theknot?

Is it just me or are the unbelievably bitchy?! I really wanted to get more involved and get loads of great advice but sometimes I think the forums are written by the column writers (read: Goddesses of weddings whos words are law and must be obeyed at all times!")

"You HAVE to do this that and the other"
"You couldnt POSSIBLY consider not doing this"
"Doing it that way is not proper etiquette"

And I dont mean about obvious things either, I mean over things like say not having kids at the wedding. I think its perfectly acceptable to put a statement on your website apologising but stating "No kids!" but Nooooo thats incorrect etiquette apparently.

Egh its doing my head in - we need more discussions on here with the level minded ladies that hopefully havnt turned all Bridezilla!

[mllebamako]

I'm not a part of those forums but I can totally imagine what they're like. The more I started looking into wedding stuff on the internet the LESS I wanted to have a big wedding. People can get so crazy about weddings these days!

I say, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Unless saying no to kids would mean that a lot of your guests couldn't attend (because they're from out of town and can't leave the kids or something), than I think it's fine for you to make that request.

[garnet]

Yes, they, like the pregnancy, and then mommy boards are full of insane bitches. The only other place I have experienced women behaving so badly was a scrapbooking message board. I don't know what it is about these boards, but it brings out the worst in people. I tried to be a member at each step along my way, starting with wedding, and ran away screaming.

[Zephii]

I haven't tried. I just assumed outright that I wasn't cool enough to be one of them.. or rich enough. lol

On the no kids thing, I said no kids for the ceremony. No one has called me on it yet.

[lucybelle]

I was a member of just a general women's board and it was like I would get lectured every time I posted a question. But not in an answer. They would criticize my question!! WTF? Like "well why did you write this in this section? It's OBVIOUSLY over in such and such" or whatever... ugh... glad when I found LFAD!

[garnet]

I was a member of just a general women's board and it was like I would get lectured every time I posted a question. But not in an answer. They would criticize my question!! WTF? Like "well why did you write this in this section? It's OBVIOUSLY over in such and such" or whatever... ugh... glad when I found LFAD!

I think that type of crankiness is when you have a core group of long time members that just forget what it's like to be new. It was even happening here for a bit. >_>

[lucybelle]

I think that type of crankiness is when you have a core group of long time members that just forget what it's like to be new. It was even happening here for a bit. >_>

Yeah you're right. I post on another board and there's this one guy who has these "rules" about posts. If you don't match his rules, he won't answer. Things like "Never say 'my situation is unique'. It's not and I'll show you at least 5 previous posts to prove it to you." Geeze

[Trethsparr]

Yep. I perused them a few times along the way, but was scared off very quickly without ever building up the nerve to post. More than being helpful, it seemed to make me feel like I was just doing everything wrong. Craziness!

Having come out on the other side, though, (yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel; one starts to despair over the existence of this when bogged down by the little details), I'd definitely be willing to share my experiences here if anyone has any questions.

[London-FortCollins]

I think maybe its the women majority boards. Although saying that; LFAD is female led board and we're not like that. (For the most part! hehe)

Weddings are totally mad and the boards are proof of that. Its like I was getting judged for my answers.

FYI - I didnt ask about the kids thing, I gave my opinion on it and a response I got was "*Shakes head* That wouldnt be polite at all* I mean the poor OP was stressing her head off, I gave her a potentially viable solution that everyone else rejected because it was "wedding etiquette" "

Jeesh.

[nicole]

I've been using theknot to help me organize things- it has some great tools on there, like the guestbook, to keep addresses and such.... but I assumed the forums would be full of crazies so I haven't bothered going in there! I just thought it would be a lot of "we're doing this and therefore our wedding is better then yours", so I kept clear. Plus I think most people will turn their noses up at what I'm doing for my legal ceremony, which will cost all of $10, so I didn't want to get any snotty remarks.

*le shrug* I may go into the forums one day, but just to lurk, not everywhere is as friendly as here!

[London-FortCollins]

theknot is exactly what I'm referring to and they totally are a bunch of crazies! Dont even lurk is my advice. I started, then started posting advice but have had nothing but catty remarks back (and not even from OP's - from other people!) and again being told I'm abysmally rude about everything I do.

I'll stick with any wedding discussions on here in the future I think! I love LFAD - normal human beings unite!

[nicole]

hehe I did go look- we got a great idea for a non-religious ceremony instead of the unity candle or sand- but then I looked at another thread, someone asking about how they need to get a JOP legal ceremony done then have a real wedding- basically what I have to do- and had anyone had experience with it. 2 posters then proceeded to go "That will be your wedding day then, not the "PARTY" you have afterwards, are you PREPARED TO LIVE WITH THAT FOREVER?!?!?" not even answering the OP's question, just belittling her.

Then someone else pointed out that they did the same, seeing as their fiance was going to be deployed and they wanted to marry before he was sent out of the country, and there are LOTS of reasons to get the legal stuff out of the way first, but these 2 ignored her and starting being ridiculous "I haven't got my dress preserved yet, I should get it out and wear it every day like the OP"..... yeah will probably stay clear of that place

[snow_girl]

I can imagine dealing with one bridezilla is hard enough, never mind a forum full of them!!

[London-FortCollins]

Lol! Thats totally what it is - a forum full of bridezillas, none of which have the slightest scrap of originality or imagination and want their wedding to be cookie cutter and how everyone "expects".

Morons...lets have good healthy imaginative wedding ideas on LFAD!

[nicole]

^^ I did really want to tell them that they were moronic and bitchy, but I didn't want to go there people on here offer advice and honest opinions in a constructive way, over there it seems if you don't match the norms, you get beaten to death with bridal bouquets. Guess it helps not everyone is planning a wedding on here, so you get some nice perspectives from people outside the "wedding world".