Engagement without a ring...thoughts???

[rsvpnj]

My SO & I have been talking about getting engaged for months now... this week he mentioned that the only reason he hasn't proposed is because he can't afford a ring right now. I want a long engagement but we want to be married before my oldest daughter is 14... she is almost 12 now. Plus, we have been together for over 9 years and I am getting frustrated with waiting for a proposal. All of our friends and family have kind of turned the fact that we're not engaged into a joke.

In any case, this is a big issue for us because all of our close friends are recently married or will be within the next few weeks... 18 couples in all... and by close friends, I mean people we see on a weekly basis... or monthly in my case.

I want to discuss this with him and take some of the pressure off in regards to the ring. Most of our friends have money and buying a ring wasn't a big issue financially to any of them.

I am okay with not having a ring for right now. I even would suggest my wearing one of the CZ rings that I already own as a placeholder for when we can afford to buy a ring.

Any opinions on getting engaged without a ring?

Thanks!!

[Minerva]

I see no problem with it. Being engaged isn't about a ring. It's about making a commitment and the intention behind the ring. There are a ton of stories out there about couples who couldn't afford a real ring and so got a "place holder" type ring. I think depending on how you go about it, it could even be sort of romantic -- a story to tell the grandkids about how he got you a ring in a Cracker Jack box, hehehe. =)

Of course if his ego is all wrapped up in it, it could be a bit harder. Just tell him you want to marry him because you love him, not to put something shiny on your finger, and you know one day he'll get that ring for you.

Good luck.

[rsvpnj]

Thanks Minerva!

[floridaellen]

I think engagement is more of the decision you come to. If you have that level of committment, then why not? Plus it could be really romantic to have the cheap ring and then upgrade it in time. There are some beautiful engagement CZ rings that look so real and are less than $100. If you and him are ready for that committment, the ring doesn't really matter.

[Sera]

I'm currently engaged and without a fancy ring for the foreseeable future. I'm perfectly ok with it. I am excited to see my new fiance in a couple months, though, as he's planning to give me a ring he made years ago. We'll get a "proper" ring when we can afford it, but until then I'm more than happy to wear something with more meaning than monetary value.

[NoNeed2SayGoodbye]

I have the best suggestion for you!! BETTER THAN CZ!!

Instead of a diamond, get a white sapphire. It usually cheaper! I know for sure on o.co you can find a ring in your budget. Even if you're open to colored gemstones they have so much selection on gorgeous rings! I'm totally not a representative of o.co but my friend got engaged and they couldn't afford much but got a gorgeous unique gemstone for her engagement ring and everyone loves it!!

Let me know how it goes!! I hope that helped!

[elizabethjp2010]

when my friend husband proposed to her she didnt have a ring, alot of people doubted that she was really engaged (grant it she was barely 18 and they hadnt been dating but a year) Long story short, her husband took her to the store and for christmas bought her a "place holder" ring until they could afford a nice engagement ring. Its very pretty and it made a nice christmas present

[Engel]

when my friend husband proposed to her she didnt have a ring, alot of people doubted that she was really engaged (grant it she was barely 18 and they hadnt been dating but a year) Long story short, her husband took her to the store and for christmas bought her a "place holder" ring until they could afford a nice engagement ring. Its very pretty and it made a nice christmas present

my SO probably wont be able to give me the rings I want for now, so he probably will give me a claddagh ring as a placeholder! I really want a claddagh ring anyway. and cant buy it for myself as the say it brings bad luck! so aftr he gives me the real engagement ring i resize the claddagh ring and wear it on another finger! so I will always have it with me anyway!

[rsvpnj]

That sounds very sweet!

[weetzie]

Personally I would need one, because it's easy enough to say you're engaged, but I think the ring makes it all the more real.

[Engel]

This is my safe holder/provisory ring. It is sterling silver. So with shipping was 45 euros. But I adore the design and that's what matters.

after we get my dream ring, I will get it resized to use on another finger, but will never take it off.




meaning of claggagh rings:
"The Claddagh is an ancient Gaelic symbol, symbolizing everlasting love.
It is the perfect gift for any special occasion on which you would like to
show your love to that special person in your life.
In this ring, we find a heart, which symbolize love. On top of the heart is a crown,
which symbolizes loyalty, while the hands on the ring represent deep friendship."

"The early history of the Claddagh goes back over 400 years to a small fishing village nestled on the shores of Galway Bay.
Here a seafaring Spanish goldsmith fell in love with a girl from the Claddagh village and crafted the first Claddagh ring for her.
Since that time the Claddagh has become a symbol of love throughout the world.

The crown is for Loyalty, as a man promises to be loyal for life to his betrothed.
The hands represent Friendship as one's partner in life is also one's best friend.
The heart stands for Love - "My heart is in your hands."

A Claddagh ring, worn with the heart facing towards one's heart is seen as a proclamation of love and the heart facing away from one's heart is a sign of being uncommitted.

if you liked the story, you can read more about them in here:
https://www.jewelrybon.com/claddagh-...hundred-years/

---------- Post added at 05:16 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:11 AM ----------

ps: I still didnt receive it, but he purchased it. he wants to make a surprise official proposal (as much surprise as it can be, haha) with the ring.

[BlueCat]

I see no problem with it. My SO and I are at the point where we could happily be engaged, but I think one of the main reasons we aren't is partly financial and I get the feeling (though I haven't really asked) that he wants to be in a slightly more permanent situation before we get engaged. To me, because we don't have a lot of money, the ring isn't a big deal. If the ring is important to him (and I think in some ways it is for guys in terms of being able to afford it and support their SO and prove that they can provide) I am honestly really happy with any sort of ring, even something less than $100. I honestly love silver rings with peridot in them, and would be more than happy with something like that. Who says it has to be a diamond anyway?

[Kerry]

if i was engaged i'd want a ring. but if not having an engagement ring works for other people that's great.

[Xanahtas]

Its personal opinion. For me personally, the ring was kinda important to me because for me it just brings that whole feeling together. But if i didnt have the ring, it wouldnt make me say no. Id still feel engaged >.< I just always wanted that diamond ring i guess And i got it >.<
But if your not bothered by it, then there is nothing stopping you doing it without a ring. Its just a symbol really, doesnt even compare to the feelings between you two. I know people who have been engaged without a ring, in fact one guy used a haribo ring on someone i know!!

[rsvpnj]

Thanks everyone! I talked to him and told him how I felt. I still don't know how he feels about it but at least now he knows how I do.