Short engagement vs. long engagement?

[weetzie]

I would like my engagement to be anywhere from 9 months to a year. No more, no less. This gives you time to make sure it's something you really want to do.

People that get engaged all the time with different people drive me crazy. I know people that have been engaged 2-3 times. It's crazy! :O

[aggie]

I totally agree with the "every couple gets engaged twice" statement. Technically, I feel sort of engaged now, because we both figured out that we don't want to be with anyone else and that we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
But with the extremely long distance, and no exact date of closing it I wouldn't want to wear a ring. So I guess part of me believes that engagement should take place when there's a clear vision of marriage ahead (unless there's visa requirements etc, but I don't think they actually check whether the ring is on the finger or not), preferably when we both live together, or when we are CD with the intention of moving in together, or when there's not much time til closing the distance (and it's 100% sure) . By not much time here I mean - 3 up to 5 months.

As for the main topic of the thread, I think 1 year up to 2 is just perfect. I'd never rush into things unless it's a 'propose and marry here and now' thing (i watched a video of youtube on that few mins ago) and I'd rather have time to plan things slowly. Unfortunately, I probably won't have that because spouse visa we're looking at requires getting married within 9 months after being granted . Nevermind.

One more thing I wanna mention here, is I would never ever ever ever let the situation that happened to my friend happen. She was 18 when she got pregnant, so because of pregnancy she got engaged. Cool . Now she's 22, he's 26, they're happy parents of two lovely daughters and they're still just engaged . As far as I know, no plans for the wedding in the near future. And I think that's just too long . . . No matter how big you want your wedding to be and how short youre on money, just I wouldnt get engaged in the first place.

[Xanahtas]

i guess id class my engagement as a 'long' one, because we arent getting married till june 1st 2013 and we got engaged august 22nd 2011... Mainly long because we're waiting till im 18 (although because of family dates we have to get married a week before my 18th >.<) and we need to save enough money!
For me its like a 'next step' because your showing that you want to make that commitment?? (cant think of how to explain it! sorry!)
As for the lenght, its whatever you feel you can do. For me, its kinda a descision made for me because of what i said above. But some people might wanna be engaged longer for whatever reason, or short time for whatever reason i guess

[floridaellen]

I used to want a long engagement. My mom was engaged for three years. The rest of my family is quite similar to that.
Now, I want a short one. Probably a year or so. I just would want to get the rest of my life started faster I think.

[NineInchNails_x]

We will probably be in a long engagement. At least two years, maybe more. I am in my first semester of college and we are still LD right now so I don't want to get married until we have closed the distance and are able to support ourselves financially(a house, the wedding, etc will probably all come from our own pockets with no outside help). I'd really like to wait till we both graduate to actually get married but he is proposing sometime soon and 5 years is a very long engagement. We are both getting jobs to start saving up for expenses. We won't(or probably I won't, wedding planning probably isn't his kind of thing) start actually planning for the wedding until maybe a year away from the actual date. Idk..that's a long ways away. We are just playing it by ear right now.

[Sunbeam]

My SO and I are engaged, and it has to be a long engagement, because I have to graduate uni, and then comes Visa stuff... so...
I never really wanted a long engagement, but circumstances being what they are.... we'll be engaged for about 1.75-2 years.

[Petals]

I have no problem with long engagements of about 2yrs, especially in LDR as timing is important if immigration and/or college/uni are involved. My husband and I were engaged for about 1 yr before marriage. I would definitely have a problem with engagement beyond 3 years if we are living together or in the same city.

[squirrelz15]

Every relationship is different. I personally see engagement as more of time to plan the wedding and get prepared that way, so I wouldn't really want one longer than a year, definitely no more than 2. That said, I don't like the idea of a short engagement either (couple months), I would feel to stressed with not enough time to plan and I actually want to at least enjoy planning my wedding a little lol. That said, due to family situations, I may just end up eloping

[rsvpnj]

My SO and I have discussed this as well.. I was married before and my engagement only lasted 2 months.

I want to enjoy a new period in our relationship... I want to enjoy being engaged... when you are planning the wedding in a shorter period, sometimes that gets lost.... I am a professional wedding planner... I've seen it happen over and over again...

Plus since we are most likely getting engaged either right before or right after we close the distance, I want to enjoy being together before marriage... like couples who were always CDR have.

I want a long engagement for all those reasons but also because I don't want us to go into debt for a wedding. But I also want it to be very special and we have lots of family. He has never been married before and he has some ideas about what he wants for our wedding. I don't want to deny him any of that by rushing our engagement.

That being said.... even though I'm thinking 18-24 months.... he's thinking more like 12-15... I'm sure we'll find a happy middle somehow

[greensweatergirl]

I see an engagement as a public announcement that two people intend to marry. So why bother making that announcement unless you are actually planning the event in the relatively near future?

For me, the ideal time frame would be a year to a year and a half. That gives me enough time to save up some money, plan the wedding I want, and have time to enjoy just being a fiancee, while not leaving my family and friends wondering why I bothered to tell them I was engaged eons before the wedding they're coming to.

[dukes2011]

Every couple is different, but personally I wouldn't want an engagement longer than a year and a half. My SO and I have talked marriage, but we're waiting for me to finish school before we consider getting engaged. Even though he's currently working, I'm pretty stubborn and I want to be making my own money before we take that leap. Also, I agree with many previous posters that it's important to live CD for a while. I wouldn't want to live with him since I don't believe in living together before marriage, but to each his own.

[Micah]

We were engaged less than 2 weeks before we got married, but we didn't want a big wedding. We just wanted to be married. I think to each their own. Most people I know are engaged about a year before they get married because they have a big wedding to plan. Different strokes for different folks.

[Yaaamiii]

I'm sure it depends on each individual couples situation...but I wouldn't like to be engaged for longer than a year and a half. That's me though, like I said it really depends on the couple. It is the next level of a relationship, but I wouldn't like a short engagement because I think it would be so stressful to try to plan a wedding in a short amount of time. :P

[efish1042]

I agree with mllebamako that it sometimes depends on the situation. Especially in LDR's. If you are living on different continents, but know you want to get married, then you'll probably have a bit of a longer engagement than two people already living together. Then again, maybe the two living together decide to wait until they have more funds to get married and so are engaged for years.
Personally, I want a mid length engagement. Anywhere from 6-12 months. I feel like it is an advancement of relationship status. When visiting someone in a hospital, you are much more likely to be allowed in if you are a fiance and not a boy/girlfriend. People tend to view boy/girlfriends as much more temporary (even when they're serious) than an engaged couple. So taking some time to relish in the elevated status and contemplate "forever" is good, but after a little while the wedding plans should begin/hurry up.

[Karringtyn]

We have been engaged for 2 years this coming March. Did we plan on being engaged that long? Nope! Just unfortunately has worked out that way.