So...which family chips in (financially) for the wedding?

[13000km]

Some time back my boyfriend and I were trying to map out a rough timeline for our future. So even though a wedding will not be planned for a few years, the subject was brought up. We realised that in his culture the bride's family contributes to the cost of a wedding but in my culture it is the groom's family who contributes. That being said his family has already spent a good amount of money on his sister's wedding and will soon be spending another good amount of money on his stepsister's, and my family will be spending a good amount of money on my brother's.

So, in your culture, which family contributes to a wedding? Bride's? Groom's? None? Does your SO's family share those your family has?
For us, it looks like we won't have much help from either families, so the main contributors will be us.

[snow_girl]

I think traditionally its the brides family. If I get married though I think that its up to me and my SO to pay for it. I imagine my parents will want to chip in a bit but I won't expect them to. I think that it would be the same for my SOs parents as well, if they decide to chip in that is great but I won't plan based on getting money from other parties.

[kiara_silver]

I don't know how it would go. I always heard and assumed the bride's family pitching in for the cost. I think thats the traditional way. But this topic has never been discussed. But for us im not sure how we will do it. Two small weddings? one wedding here or there? no wedding? I think it will be like snow_girl said, it's whoever wants to pitch in can. But not sure how things for us are going to go yet.

[Haley53]

I'm not sure what the cultural tradition is here, but I've always assumed that it would be more on mine and my partner's shoulders than anyone's. I imagine our families would chip in a little bit, but I'd always had it assumed the brunt of the cost would fall to us. That said, I have a friend whose parents paid entirely for her half-sister's wedding, so I imagine that it would be largely dependent on the family and their traditions.

[snow_girl]

I imagine that it would be largely dependent on the family and their traditions.

Definitely. My family is in no position to pay for an entire wedding. If the traditions were still that the brides family paid, I'm sure we could make it would but I wouldn't want to put that burden on my parents to pay for a wedding.

[Sunbeam]

In my family, it's always been whoever is getting married pays for most things. My grandparents might secure my venue, or lend me money. Luckily my SO and I are perfectly fine with small simple weddings, cause we're not rolling in money lol.

[Dziubka]

In my boyfriend's culture the bride's parents traditionally pay for the wedding. I don't know if there's a tradition for that in my country, I'm not aware of it anyway.

However, my mum's not really in a financial position to pay for my wedding and she's not a fan of weddings at all. On her first wedding, with my dad, he wore a hoodie (!) and when she got married a 2nd time this year, they didn't even tell anyone (except for me and my bro, because we're cool kids!) until after the fact.
There's really no reason, she should pay for my party.

I have a feeling that my boyfriend's mum is going to chip in, though. She's in a better financial situation, he's an only child and she likes spending money on him. Plus we're getting married in their country (and denomination!).

But for the most part, my boyfriend and I are going to pay for it ourselves. It's also the best way to make sure, that we get to do things our way. I'd rather have a smaller budget, but be able to decide about it on my own, than have our families pay and include them in the decisions.

[ChibiFelicia]

traditionally in my culture the groom and his family pay for the wedding and the brides family buy the jewelry and dress. His tradition is that the bride family pay for wedding, groom buy dress and jewelry and buy the apartment (bride furnishes the house). But we'll just pay for it ourselves. My parents are better off financially than his so they'll still be buying me the jewlery (already got me a diamond ring and necklace and such lol). Im planning on wearing 3 dresses (his culture, mine and the traditional white dress) so my parents will buy one of them.

[London-FortCollins]

As recognised it varies by culture/country/religion.

In Western culture the "traditions" are although the Brides family pays for the bulk of costs there are certain things that traditionally fall to the Groom/Grooms family. Off the top of my head I believe some of these are rings, honeymoon, flowers and tranportation. (Things that are "Gifts" to the Bride I belive these are seen as)

However in most modern societies - You choose to get married: You choose to pay for it. If families choose to chip in thats up to them.

Some things to bare in mind though: Whos contributing, what they are contributing to and what level of say they expect to have. For example some parents may be happy to pay for food and venue but they want to have a say or even final decision on the choices.

There are many couples that have actually denied financial help so that they can have the wedding they want rather than the one their parents want. (Even if that means on a much tighter budget)

Beware that weddings can bring out the very worst in family, and even more so when money is involved.

When I was planning me and XSO's wedding we were paying for it ourselves but were fortunate enough to be offered support from his mum (venue but after we'd chosen and budgeted for it and cash towards our general fund), my nan gave us money as a wedding gift and my mum offered to buy my dress, but let me have total choice over it. But we were lucky. Peruse some wedding forums and you'll hear some horror stories of crazy-ass families!

And if you are going to check out wedding forums I highly recommend offbeatbride.com - much more normal down to earth Brides!

[Zephii]

In both our cultures it is the bride's parents. My parents are dead. Obi's parents were intending to help us out (so they say) but are withholding that (rightfully!) because the wedding is in Australia. So, it's upto us to pay for it ourselves and I'm happiest with that. It's our money, and the wedding will be our way - we don't have to answer to anyone or feel guilty for having what we want.

[folclor]

My parents have talked to me about it. They've said they know it's tradition for the bride's family to pay... but who knows. I'm still waiting for Alex to propose so I guess it's a bit early to be thinking about this >.>

[blankita719]

Traditionally it is the bride's family that pays for the wedding, but seeing as how I am 30-something and he is 40-something, we'll be doing it ourselves when we finally get engaged.

[13000km]

Yeah, we weren't expecting anyone to fully pay for our wedding, I only found the differences between our two cultures in terms of a wedding to be interesting. His mom was talking about how she doesn't know if she can afford the things his stepsister wants in a wedding, and the anthropology class I'm taking was also talking about wedding and marriages this week. That's where our conversation about this started.

It looks like majority of us will not be following traditions and will be fully funding our own weddings. (:

[BoogleBee]

I never really thought about family paying for the wedding. I always assumed we paid for it ourselves but yeah I guess the tradition is the brides family?

Obviously for me..well..there would be two brides :P so kinda doesn't apply.

I always thought that I would want for us to pay for the wedding ourselves. If our families want to pitch in they can but I wouldn't expect it.

[Madge]

I think the tradition here is the brides family to pay for it..although I think my SO and I are going to pay majority of the wedding anyway. My family have said they would chip in however now that we might be getting married in the states or the uk I am not going to get them to pay anything as flights are $$ as it is.