Visits while they're busy?

[EnglishMan]

Hey guys.

Due to the fact that nobody has unlimited holiday time (well I do until someone employs me!), I presume there's been times when people have visited their SO during a time when they're still a bit busy (maybe they still have work to go to some of the time, college etc). This is likely gunna be part of my visit, at least for a few days towards the end (practically regardless of when I go). Just wondered about people's experiences with that? How you deal with it, what you did while they were out or whatever. I'll be able to hangout with her family I would guess, but just curious really!

[squeeker]

I actually might be of some help! Normally when I've visited my SO in the past he's been all mine and we've spent basicalyl 24/7 together.. we did this this last visit this summer except for the last two weeks.. he just started a uni course and has to be there for 3 days a week and he started a couple weeks before I had to leave back home.. I didn't do too much, his dad and their dog were home too so I hung out with them, and also was able to talk to my SO on his breaks.. but while he was in classes, I basically browsed the internet, cuddled and played with their dog, talked with his dad a bit, made food, crocheted, and maybe some other things.. To be honest I felt kind of awkward about it because it was my first extended period of time being in the UK and not being able to be with my boyfriend.. but it ended up being okay. And as long as you get to spend time together when she's home and she's not constantly working or anything, it should be fine.. just try your best to get along with her family cause that should make it a lot easier!

[Moon]

This happens to us a lot, when he's working I take the opportunity to explore Helsinki on my own. I go to stores he wouldn't like, go to the market in the city square, go on sightseeing tours, have a coffee and watch the sea, subject the natives to my practicing of horrible Finnish, whatever I feel like doing. It can be fun and exciting to have some time on your own in a foreign country, it's all about your perspective. You can use it as an opportunity to experience and explore, or you can feel lonely and sorry for yourself I definitely recommend exploring! Since there's nothing you can do about it, make the most of that time by yourself, especially in the US, we love hearing that English accent, so get out and chat with the old ladies at the grocery store, the kids at the playground, the guy waiting at the bus stop, etc. Just have fun and learn something You'll be fine.

[Verojoon]

My SO and I are actually looking forward to him visiting me here because I'm always so busy and that fact will be a better indication of how we would do in a CD scenario than any of our vacations were! so look at it as an opportunity to experience a few days of... well, not real life, but more real than otherwise life...

[EnglishMan]

This happens to us a lot, when he's working I take the opportunity to explore Helsinki on my own. I go to stores he wouldn't like, go to the market in the city square, go on sightseeing tours, have a coffee and watch the sea, subject the natives to my practicing of horrible Finnish, whatever I feel like doing. It can be fun and exciting to have some time on your own in a foreign country, it's all about your perspective. You can use it as an opportunity to experience and explore, or you can feel lonely and sorry for yourself I definitely recommend exploring! Since there's nothing you can do about it, make the most of that time by yourself, especially in the US, we love hearing that English accent, so get out and chat with the old ladies at the grocery store, the kids at the playground, the guy waiting at the bus stop, etc. Just have fun and learn something You'll be fine.

Haha, my SO says about that all the time, she's told me im strictly not allowed to talk to anyone but her while im there hahaha. I'll never understand America's obsession with English accents :P.

Yeah I figured I'd either hang around with her family, or travel with her into the city and then when she goes off ill have a look around. Always interesting to hear people's experiences!

[Lady Grimm]

It really depends the circumstances of why their busy, and just how busy.

I was working part time one of the summers that my SO was here. That really wasn't so bad because my hours weren't long, so it was easy for him to keep busy. Mostly spent this time in my backyard by the pool, or inside on my laptop playing co-op games with his friends. I think it was good for him to be able to connect with his friends at home every once and a while since he was here for about three months.

In some cases, though, it is a big challenge. For example, I've spent some time with my SO, and for a little over a week of that time he was at college. Since he had all sorts of work to do at home, I became a bit of a distraction. Not intentionally, of course. I kept to myself. Watched a lot of Jeremy Kyle and Come Dine With Me, haha. He just didn't want to do the work because I was around. I would imagine it would be similar if the situation was full time work rather than college. Yes, it will give people a feel for what real life in a close distance relationship will be like, but it is difficult to see it that way when you know you only have a limited time together. Unlike 'real life together,' you won't be as busy as your SO since you, too, will be working or doing whatever. Plus, you know they are always going to be there. Once you close the distance and start 'real life,' there is no time limit; the cklock is not counting down how many minutes you have left with each other. You'll just be going about your life while they go about theirs, and at the end of the day you'll settle down together for the evening. If you're visiting, you won't be nearly as busy as your SO, and it will probably end up feeling like all the stuff they have to do, which is ultimately beyond their control, is getting in your way of making the most out of the time that you have.

[Tooki]

I have this situation when I stay with my GF

My daytime consists of: Working out/Walking around/Gaming/Browsing.

I quite enjoy it though.

[Kiyama]

We almost always have this "issue". I'm a teacher so I've been visiting him quite frequently as I can take my work during the holidays with me. He can't take that many holidays obviously so he works while I'm there. There's nothing you can do about it when his schedule allows it, we meet up for lunch and I do other stuff like short trips, walks, museums or whatever during the day.

He comes over to visit in two weeks and I only have one week off but he will be here for two weeks so well finally have it the other way round

[Amelia]

i have to deal with this often because when i see my so i normally go to his uni because its just easier as my uni schedule is 1 day a week so i have more free time. However when i go up there he has the occassional class, soccer training or his i guess youd say fraternity thing. It sucks but i normally watch movies or do work. i think you need to figure out a big timetable, we do one each semester and add important dates like exams, sport events, work and social events and then we work around that it seems to work

[Haley53]

Last year, my SO visited me during finals week. He wandered around campus while I took my finals and at one point, stayed home with my family. This next visit, he'll be here during my first week of school depending on whether or not I plan to use my "graduate early free" card (I'm currently extending my life at university because I can ). He'll probably come to the classes with me during that time.

[Miles-Between]

My boyfriend came from Australia to visit while I had to work. I was able to get a few days off, but as a receptionist, it's hard to find someone to cover my position. Especially since I'm an evening receptionist. While I worked 4-11pm, he would stay at home with my parents (I'm living with my parents at the moment until I leave to move to Australia on December 1st) and play video games on my computer and help my parents cook/clean. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He and my parents get along really well, and it was a great chance for them to bond one on one. We had plenty of time to do the things we wanted during the day, before I went to work.

It's not that bad, but it is a bit of a drag, since you only have a limited time with them already. Just enjoy the time you have together, though! (:

[EnglishMan]

In some cases, though, it is a big challenge. For example, I've spent some time with my SO, and for a little over a week of that time he was at college. Since he had all sorts of work to do at home, I became a bit of a distraction. Not intentionally, of course. I kept to myself. Watched a lot of Jeremy Kyle and Come Dine With Me, haha. He just didn't want to do the work because I was around. I would imagine it would be similar if the situation was full time work rather than college. Yes, it will give people a feel for what real life in a close distance relationship will be like, but it is difficult to see it that way when you know you only have a limited time together.

Oh good Lord on the first one.... though I like a bit of Come Dine with Me too! To be honest I think this trip will mostly just be about meeting and spending some good time together, bonding with her family etc. The overlap would be with the start of her term so I shouldn't distract her from college work too badly, and she's been free quite a bit this term so hopefully the same next too.

i have to deal with this often because when i see my so i normally go to his uni because its just easier as my uni schedule is 1 day a week so i have more free time. However when i go up there he has the occassional class, soccer training or his i guess youd say fraternity thing. It sucks but i normally watch movies or do work. i think you need to figure out a big timetable, we do one each semester and add important dates like exams, sport events, work and social events and then we work around that it seems to work

I had a similar schedule last year at Uni, just class on Friday's though it was a 9 hour day lol. Wouldn't mind a work schedule like that!

Last year, my SO visited me during finals week. He wandered around campus while I took my finals and at one point, stayed home with my family. This next visit, he'll be here during my first week of school depending on whether or not I plan to use my "graduate early free" card (I'm currently extending my life at university because I can ). He'll probably come to the classes with me during that time.

Haha, I was gunna do the same by doing a masters this year, but my dissertation left me feeling burned out with study after last year .

[Haley53]

Haha, I was gunna do the same by doing a masters this year, but my dissertation left me feeling burned out with study after last year .

Aww, yeah. I could have graduated in my third year, but there are a few classes I still want to take. However, by the end of the winter, I'll have had the chance to take those courses, so am undecided as to whether or not I want to stay for a third quarter. I really enjoy being in school, but the idea of being done with/free of finals and midterms is somewhat tantalising.

[EnglishMan]

Aww, yeah. I could have graduated in my third year, but there are a few classes I still want to take. However, by the end of the winter, I'll have had the chance to take those courses, so am undecided as to whether or not I want to stay for a third quarter. I really enjoy being in school, but the idea of being done with/free of finals and midterms is somewhat tantalising.

Yeah I really enjoyed studying too, i'll probably end up back there soon enough :P, would like to get my masters and hopefully a doctorate, just kinda felt like id be forcing myself to this year. Definitely prefer the holiday time that comes with it too! If anything, that's got me more interested in teaching

[lademoiselle]

I've stayed with my SO before while he had to work. His hours are quite long too, 9-7 plus travel time either way, so I had a lot of hours to fill! Every day I'd tidy the flat a bit (while playing music and dancing around, of course), read, idle online etc. I went out too, mostly just to the supermarket and back though because being out and about alone in a country where I speak the native language at a very basic level could be kind of daunting. Once or twice, guys stopped their cars or sat next to me on the metro and tried to speak to me, to which my gabbled reply was "je suis anglaise, je ne comprends pas!" But I did enjoy making lunch for my SO and taking it to him so we could eat together during his lunch break. Anyway, those are my experiences! I daresay you'll find a lot of amazing things to keep you occupied in your SO's hometown, so do have a wonderful time