Who visits more when you can see each other in person?

[differentcountries]

I do all the travels, because he works season and last off season we had a visa rejection. I pay for most but I always feel he takes his share. We plan together. When I notice that he is slow on initiating contact, I just wait, or at least I reduce my contact, or I say something like I miss you, it would be nice to hear from you soon etc.

[TwoThree]

I always visit him, or we meet in an another country than his. I don't want him to visit me here.

As for planning and initiative, it's usually me. Not that he doesn't care, and I'm sure he would take the initiative if I didn't, but it's always been the dynamic of our relationship, because my visits mostly depend on me, when I can take time off work, my finances etc. And I really like planning visits. It makes my life easier knowing when I'll see him again.

[80anthea]

I've travelled to him more, do most of the organising and I probably do more of the sappy writing of e-mails etc than he does. I don't resent him for it as I wouldn't do it if I didn't like doing so. He gives back in many other ways.

[Mims27]

I've been to see her more times than she has come to me. It's just been way easier for me. But she has a car now so she's making more efforts to come up. That's nice. But with her job and school it's just more complicated.

[Sanja]

I've traveled to see him because it was just easier due to my work schedule. As far as communication, I'd say we initiate them equally.

[kittyo9]

We don't really have a choice. It's a thousand times easier (and like 2x cheaper) for me to visit him than it is for him to visit me, because of ticket prices and visa requirements, so our visits have only been me to him. I do feel like I put in a lot more work to the relationship than he does, but that's also in part because I make a lot more money than he does, so I can buy him things, send him things, pay for tickets, etc. much more easily than he can.

[Ahava]

He has made a couple more visits to see me than I have to him due to him being better of financially.
I would love to be the one travelling more or it being equal, because I like travelling
I think our relationship is pretty equal exept money wise he has spent a lot more on me and us.
Then again I send/order him nice little surprises now and then.
We have gotten into a routine of when we Skype etc. So there's no dividing on who initiates. Depends on who is first home/out of the bath/shower or what time we both arrive at work in the mornings. We both make conversation/ask questions etc.

Our next meet is in another country for the first time (something we have considered earlier but it hasn't been possible) and we've been planning it together.

I have no complaints

[Hollandia]

In the first year it was all me travelling. As we got more serious he came to see me. We both do whatever we can travelwise to stay in same place now. When apart we both Sykpe each other pretty equally.

[TaraMarie]

In the beginning it was me doing all the traveling, but that was because my children didn't know about the relationship. Now we split it, we each travel once a month, actually, I am here now for a week, and then he comes home with me for a week. It works.

[emsimes]

We split up our visits pretty evenly. We usually alternate visits each time, although the last two visits, I was the one to visit him. He will come out to visit me next time, though. I like how we alternate things. It makes things more interesting

[blankita719]

I've historically done more of the traveling, but my vacation hours at work allowed me more freedom to plan visits. This year thought, my job reduced our vacation hours so I'm not as flexible as I used to be. His vacation schedule is awful so it makes more sense most of the time for me to visit him. Now I haven't been there in over a year and he's coming here more this year. My SO is a go with the flow kind of person and I'm a planner, so I usually make most of the plans when we visit.

[snow]

I do the visits He can't take off that many days and is afraid of flying and on top of that, my family hasn't actually been this inviting, so it makes more sense to fly out there and be with him in our room ()

When it comes to conversations.. it's mostly him. Not because I don't care, but because I am more of a listener than talker and he knows that.

[squeeker]

I do the visits He can't take off that many days and is afraid of flying and on top of that, my family hasn't actually been this inviting, so it makes more sense to fly out there and be with him in our room ()

When it comes to conversations.. it's mostly him. Not because I don't care, but because I am more of a listener than talker and he knows that.

Aww my boyfriend has a fear of flying too. It's made worse by his other anxieties as he was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD which make his anxieties worse. One day he will visit Canada.

Until then though I've done all the flying. I really like flying now, and now I'm hoping that before he would come here I'd have my own place somewhere or we'd have enough money to rent a hotel somewhere so that we could have our own place. I think he is also more scared than me to try new things so while I am excited to try all the UK foods and brands and things, he will have more hesitation for trying the foods here. But by the time he does fly here, that is one HUGE thing for him and I'm sure trying new foods won't be so bad for him if he can do that.

Otherwise I think our relationship is relatively equal. I think generally I might have spent more on gifts for him but he has more bills that he has to pay. But as we have been together longer, it's sort of evened out, and also we talk all the time about things so I don't feel at any way unequal. We just take turns on who buys who things and maybe (if we counted) it might be unequal at any given time, but not really seeing as when we buy each other things we are investing in our future as we want to get married one day and live together.

Awhile ago I sort of made a decision that whenever I gave someone something, I wouldn't expect it back, even if they asked it back. I don't want to hold something over someone's head especially if they can't pay it back. And with my boyfriend it's even easier to feel balanced because we are a couple so I do things for him and he does things for me. I like flying and traveling now and I realize that it does make him extremely nervous even if I fly.. and I can imagine how nervous I will be when he flies, especially if I'm not with him, and especially if he takes a longer route to make him feel better. Although, if they get free wifi on more international flights by that time, he might feel better about flying although it would still be scary but then at least he'd have some access to the outside world if he gets nervous.

[whatruckus]

I do most of the initiating when it comes to the conversations, intimacy, and romance. We're both equally affectionate, it just seems my libido is much higher than his.

As for the travelling, I do most of it.

I'm not going to lie, it does get annoying. Especially since I'm unemployed now (I had a good job before, but I got fired because my boss didn't like me) and I'm in school, so I don't have really have the money for gas (my parents actually pay for it, which is sad). I've told him that it annoys me sometimes, and it would make it easier on me and my relationship with my parents (as well as help him even BUILD a relationship with my parents) if he came up more.

[SaraHonRara]

We visit equally. We have alternated the visits, and had some sort of unsaid agreement that the person not traveling pays the most for food and stuff. Since were both students with relatively equal economic situations it has worked very well for us this way.

I left him on monday, and next time he is coming here it is to stay.