Fear of flying

[Ambert]

Hi lovely people,

So, I am going to my SO for the first time around christmas. He has been here, in the Netherlands, 3 times now. First, he is coming here, so I don't have to fly alone to Budapest <where he lives>. The problem is, I will have to fly back alone. But I am just so scared. The only thing I can think about is that I might die on that plane. Even when he is flying I am always checking OK did the plain arrive already <he has to go by train to my hometown for 3 hours after landing by plane>.

It's just, the way back, when I have to go alone, is frightening me soooo much. I just don't know if I can do it, but I don't want to dissapoint him and his parents. Plus, the flight will only take about 1,5 hour. What's there to be scared of? Rationally I can think like that, but my feelings say something else...

Please help

Love,



Amber

[differentcountries]

Have you looked into cognitive therapy? That helped me when I had issues with claustrophobia and fear of flying. Also they say it helps to drink a drink or two or use anti anxiety meds.

[Ambert]

Hi, I actually did cognitive therapy for several things <I do have problems with anxiety>.

Right now I don't really feel like getting into a therapy again. Plus, it's so soon already. I just have this feeling and it feels so real... Especially with all the stuff going on in the world lately, you know.

[Colourfuldreamsx]

I'm not keen on flying myself, last year was my first ever short haul flight (4 hours) and my last one was long haul (10 hours) I traveled with a friend both times so I had someone to talk to, have you spoken to your boyfriend about how you feel? Also maybe a calming tablet or liquid could help you, also if you mention it to the flight crew when you board they will come check on you and make sure you are okay.

[Ambert]

Yeah, he knows how I feel about it. That is why he will go here first, stay here for a few days and go together to Budapest so I don't have to fly alone to get there. But the way back is still there... I am definitely thinking about taking some calming tablets for it indeed.

[Marmalade]

Just bring things to do on the flight and distract yourself. I've flown in little cesnas to big c130s and I was scared too, but I reminded myself that the pilots are trained and experienced. I took several aerospace classes when I was 12-14 and if I remember correctly plan planes fly better in colder temperatures due to the higher density of the air. Don't worry, just breath through it. If you get scared just press the flight attendant button and tell them you're scared. Some will sit with you and try to calm you down.

[Lisa88]

I'm also really afraid of flying. I'm stressed for days when I know I have to fly. It not goes away 100% but reading a book, watch a movie, crosswords,... calm me down. Also when I get really afraid I just tell the fly attendant or the people who are sitting next to me. They just talk to me and that's usually helps. I'm not pro meds who calm you down but if I'm really freaking out I take them.
Realizing that the cabin crew is very experienced and the chances that something happens are very very small also can help to calm you down.

And the most important thing, you do it because you want to see your loved one and that makes it all worthwhile.

[p_b82]

Honestly I say this with no intent to insult, but you are being completely irrational about this. you are statistically more likely to have a car crash than a plane crash.

Also you are worry about an event that is going to be the second time you fly, before you have even flown the first time.

You will be absolutely fine, I have more airmiles than I know what to do with, as I fly around a lot for work at times - for one 6 month period, I was in a different European city every week, and was flying home for the weekends only, to see my ex, wash my clothes and leave again 5am Monday morning.

As other's have said, keep a few things that you know really absorb your mind for the flight, and stop fretting about it and building it up too much.

an Ex colleague of mine had an irrational fear of flying too, we had to give her a few drinks at the airport, then some meds on the plane to calm her down - so I know that it is a real issue for some people before you think I am just belittling you with my comments.

But honestly try not to think about this right now you will only work yourself up about it more, you never know, the 1st flight may well turn out to be great fun, and therefore this fear of the second one is irrelevant

[Ambert]

Well ofc I am worried about both, the first time aswell, but then he is rhere to comfort me a little, which already helps. But I understand. I know its irrational to think like this but its just so frightening to me

[rhabdoviridae]

So what I do is tell myself: "You don't have to get on this plane. This is your choice. However, if you do not get on this plane and brave this flight, you will miss out on [seeing SO, visiting family, going on a nice vacation, whatever it is I'm planning to do that requires me to fly there]." And even when I'm scared, I think of the positive at the end of the flight.

I agree with having a distraction...read a book, watch a movie, listen to music. I also like to not look out the window, but just close my eyes and focus on breathing calmly and evenly. Sometimes there will be some turbulence, but take a deep, slow breath and think of what fun things you will do after you land.

It's always a huge relief when I finally land, and it never really gets better for me. Just do what you can to keep yourself calm and make the time go by.

[Petals]

Most people harbor some fear of flying but to varying degrees. The joy I experience from traveling to different places and experiencing different cultures outweighs the fear of flying. I dislike take off and landing but thereafter I'm ok unless there's heavy turbulence.

What I dislike most is the stress of connecting flights and all that waiting in the airport. I'm always scared to leave the airport during layover because I worry that something will happen and I miss my flight.

Be happy your flight is so short. I will be flying 28 hrs and 3 connections each way to see my SO.

Btw, I actually fear medical procedures more than flying. I'm a nervous wreck for simple procedures like blood tests.

[Ambert]

Hi guys

Just want to do a short update. The tickets are here and I am seeing my SO in 6 days!! He is coming here on the 24 and we are flying to his hometown on the 26. Eventho I am still really scared and frightened, I am happy that he is on my side the way there. I do have to go back by myself, which is a bit terrifying. I am trying to make him come back with him, but he says it's a bad idea (not because of the money, but because he thinks that then I will never fly alone and he has to come with me all the time.)

ah well, excited and really really nervous i guess...

[p_b82]

Good luck - He is right in that respect, and you are still worrying about something that might not be an issue once you have flown once before

[TaraMarie]

I was terribly afraid of flying, too. But I bit the bullet and now I fly all the time. I do drink a lot though.... And it makes me sleep!

[The Doctor]

Best thing I've found to do is Google your flight number which has a live tracker of the flights and will tell you when it takes off, while it's travelling and when it lands and even gives you the gate numbers as well