First Visit Troubles

[RainbowThunda]

Well, we have had solid, promising plans for about a year for our first time seeing each other. I have waited a whole year with school making it painfully slow, and now its all falling through and we are heartbroken... there is still hope but its starting to crash and burn. We have been together for 2 years straight now and have been wanting to and sadly unable to visit each other for about that time now. We are teenagers still in school in an LDR, and have to wait for breaks from school to make plans to see each other, but I'm living in poverty with my family and I'm totally unable to get the money to see him, until I get a job that is but I have to repeat half of senior year (with ADD and no medication) so I need to focus on my grades first, then a job. Also I have no passport or anything ready. I'm suffering from all kinds of bad circumstances, so he is the one trying to visit me. Our plans were for him to get his passport (done), visa, and plane ticket to fly here into Chicago to stay with me a little more than a month. Well now he just found out that the visa is 700 reais (Brazilian money, my bf is from Brazil) which is really expensive for him and his parents combined with the plane ticket. So that would be about $233 dollars in US money because the dollar is trippled in value there in Brazil (Idk how ALL of that works though haha). I'm just so heartbroken... I need to see him so bad this summer before I have to go back to school for a repeat of half the year before we can think of making plans again, I will have to wait even more months upon months... Now, I'm not one to stoop so low as to ask for money, but I started a little bit of a fundraiser on the website GoFundMe so I could try to get at least a little bit of money to transfer to him and his parents bank account... I know, its desperate, and it must seem pathetic, but I'm frantic and desperate for SOMETHING to work... I just really want to see him for the first time in person and not through a screen on Skype... Even a dollar or two from people would be something. I'm not able to post the link because the site won't let me, but I feel so bad for putting this up here but its worth a shot, he's worth everything to me and I'm willing to do what I can just to see him... sorry for the long description though.

If anything, just some emotional support would be of value to me.

[snow_girl]

I'm really sorry that you are having troubles seeing your bf. However, everyone else here is in the same boat money wise and are all trying really hard to see their own SOs, I don't think anyone is going to give you money. Can you babysit or dog walk for some extra money?

[R&R]

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Snow_girl is right though, everyone here works very hard to save up the money to see their own SO's. People work overtime or second jobs sometimes to be able to make it happen. Just keep putting away every little bit that you can. Maybe over the summer you can get a part-time job at a grocery store or Walmart, etc to get you there. Even 10-15 hours a week will help you.

[RainbowThunda]

Right, thanks so much for the help and support you two. I already knew nobody would, it was worth a try though. I usually wouldn't stoop that low, and I apologize. But I really appreciate the condolences and advice. I'll try to look into every other option. Sell some stuff, to make just enough to make this summer happen. Wow, I thought it would have so much easier for the LDR couples who had jobs and passports all ready and everything, my apologies. I have not experienced what it is like "in the real world" quite yet... so I apologize for me hoping that of someone. It comforts me to know that there are others here in the same boat, seemed like every other LDR couple gets to see their SO regularly. Thanks you guys.

[MissButterfly]

Wow, I thought it would have so much easier for the LDR couples who had jobs and passports all ready and everything, my apologies. I have not experienced what it is like "in the real world" quite yet... so I apologize for me hoping that of someone. It comforts me to know that there are others here in the same boat, seemed like every other LDR couple gets to see their SO regularly. Thanks you guys.

Even if someone gets to see their SO regularly, that doesn't mean they aren't saving up just as hard as you are to make that happen. Don't equate 'seeing each other' with 'having money', it's all about planning and saving. Yes, everyone here is in the same boat, even the ones who have closed the distance. They need to save up to be able to see their family back home, although perhaps not as often. Prepare for that never-ending cycle, because it's just something that comes with LDRs. The only thing you can do to make it easier is try to become as financially stable as possible, good luck!

[Ella85]

I do understand the want to see your SO because believe me I want to see mine too. But as others have said we are all working really hard. My boyfriend lives in the US and I live in England, flight tickets are really expensive $1000+ especially as I have a kid. I don't drink, smoke, go out clubbing, go out on day trips etc. I am on a tight budget as I am low income anyway and I save 1/3 of my income so that I can visit my SO. If you both do odd jobs I am sure you can both save up for his visa together.

[hmrambling]

Upon reading your post, I googled "gofundme longdistance". There is no shortage of people creating gofundme pages in hopes of raising money for their long distance relationships. Sure, we read about people visiting their SOs all the time here on this forum, but that doesn't mean that the money is always readily available. I know of people who go into debt for long distance. For those that have sufficient funds to visit, time is often an issue. So there seems to always be a challenge, whether it be time or money.

One thing that you have on your side is that we all know what it's like to want to go see our partners, or to know what it's like to be waiting and hoping our partners can come see us. Visits are both important and special, and for most of us, it takes a lot of patience and energy to coordinate these visits. We learn tools of communication, problem solving, patience, and diligence by working together to arrange visits. Long distance takes work! All relationships do. The two of you may be able to pool your resources and come up with some ideas. Most all of us have been where you are, or at a very similar place. You're in the right place for support and understanding. People here can totally relate to where you are. However, you are more likely to receive encouragement and support rather than financial support here.

[littlepetite]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I am in a similar one except I'm still in uni and my SO is working casual jobs. what he did was calculate how many hours he needed to work to afford the flight ticket and saved work money. Idk how we'll afford visa (which I'm planning to apply for so I can be with him) but struggles like these make us stronger. Hang in there love, it's difficult while we're students but it'll get better with time.