Visit frequency and duration?

[differentcountries]

We are almost 2600 miles apart. During our 2 years 4 months of dating, we have had 21 visits, usually a week long, some visits were long weekends and 3 of the vists lasted about a month. This was possible because he came here during his off season (he doesn't really have vacation) and I used a combination of payed vacation and sick leave/studies to visit him this much. I don't have any kids or pets to take into account (but I do have a husband - he joined in on some of the visits). The longest time between the visits was close to 3 months. The price of flights and the travel time vary a lot depending on the time of year, but also I have to take into consideration where heas is at since he is not always in his work town. Next visit I will probably visit him and his family in their home town where m it will take me a whole day of travel each way, the tickets are expensive plus not that many planes go there so I really have to plan it. When he comes here, it has to be off season and there is a lot of work with visas for him to me, which is why I have usually visited him. We hope that will change when we can get him a work permit here.

[Zandria]

We are about 2,000 miles apart from one another and have not met, even though we've been really amazing friends for the past three years. He will be here in five days and will stay for five days. Our next visit is in March, where he plans to move here for a month to help take care of me, since I'm currently wheelchair-bound, so we can figure out what is going on with me. Unfortunately, everything is kind of up in the air due to my illness, but he is willing to come and be here for me as long as it takes. And I am working out how to get my butt all the way out there, despite the situation I am in.

Patience is key. Our saying is that we were put together for a divine purpose (we're both pretty religious) and believe our timing for our relationship was due to us both being ready to start our future together. We waited three years to be with one another, what is a couple more months? [:


Best,

Z

[SmileyK]

Almost 9500 miles away! Have been dating 3 years and 3 months, and have met twice First time after 13 months for 6 weeks, second visit we waited a further 23 months, and visit was for 5 weeks. Hoping for third and final visit (another 5-6 weeks) in just 18 months, before closing the distance! It's hard, but it works for us. Can't do it too often, flights are too expensive and you lose 3 days traveling there and 3 days traveling back in flights and jet lag. We'd rather save the money for our future together which is just around the corner 18 months really doesn't feel long after 23!

[Loveyoumore]

We have been together almost 8 months on the 12th & seen eachother 4 times...number 5 will be next month (36 days to go)

[QueenD]

Thanks so much to everyone for sharing your experiences. This is uncharted territory for me - I've never dated anyone where it wasn't an option to see each other on at least a weekly basis. Longest distance for me was about 100 miles when I was in college and just for the summer while my boyfriend at the time had an internship.

I have had a great week here with my (official now!) SO. I go home tomorrow, and we have been having some chats about how we want to conduct this relationship, especially where visiting is concerned. Turns out his top two love la gauges are quality time and physical touch, so I'd say odds are good that we won't do huge long breaks between visits. The good news is that we are a $300-$350 plane ticket away from each other, and we both make pretty decent money so that's not a terrible obstacle at all. Biggest issue we will have is that we are busy adults in our 40s who have lots of projects and things that we love to work on, so we will have to be on top of things!

[catlady]

Typically one month between visits. Sometimes a bit longer depending on our schedules and flight prices. Visits range from a weekend to a week.

[LittleMissNova]

My boyfriend came to visit me and meet my family in November for Thanksgiving where he stayed at our home for a whole week. It was absolutely lovely and we were so happy to have so much time together.
Our next visit will be next month from March 25th through April 1st! We won't always be with each other (since it's a family spring break trip to visit our family in Alabama) but we have planned for me to meet his family and for he and I to go shopping and an early birthday date for me!
I am super stoked for next month basically.

[JadeW97]

We officially became an item on 2nd January and our first meeting was on the 23rd! We then met a week later, then two weeks later for Valentine's Day weekend, and then two weeks after that this weekend. So far it's all been weekends and no longer than a fortnight apart since the first neet. Now though it'll be the first time where it'll be 3 weeks or more until we next see each other which is pretty hard after seeing each other more frequently, there was quite an emotional goodbye today. Going to be so worth the wait though of course <3

In the Easter Holidays when we finally have time off Uni, we will hopefully this time spend more than two days together! Cannot wait, it always goes too fast.

[Mandy94]

We officially met in January, just got back from visiting in March and were planning for May. Flights are sooooo expensive. I've been using Expedia so far and my last deal was under $200.
Every couple will have a different idea about what they need in a relationship as far as visitation. There's no right or wrong for how frequent.

[Phantomrose]

My husband and I have been together for nine years. We met in person in 2010, and got married in 2012. We live about 3000 or so miles apart from each other (he's in the UK and I'm in the US.) Because of this, our visits usually last from 4-6 months. We have between eight or nine months between each visit.

The way we work it out now is that he comes to the US for 2-3 months, and then I travel back with him to the UK for another 2-3 months. For us, we see it as spending a longer amount of time together for us, and sometimes it makes the wait between visits more bearable, because we know that we are going to have a good amount of time together. In total we've had about five visits together. Our sixth will be coming up in December, when I go to England for the the holidays.

[BFG]

My partner and I were in a conventional distance relationship for a short while before she had to move overseas. Our first visit, coming up in June, will mark 8 months since transitioning to an LDR.

Australia to Scotland is a long way, and this makes travel very prohibitive. It costs a fortune and takes a long time, so just seeing each other for a long weekend or something is entirely out of the question. We will likely be in an LDR for 2 to 3 years and i would like to drop the frequency of visits down to at least every 4 months because this is excruciating. I earn a reasonable living so it will probably be me going there more often than her coming here and besides, me going there means we can go to new places and on adventures together. The limiting factor is the time i can take off work - I work a very unique roster and so if i take a week off I actually get a 3 week break, I just can't do that very often is all.

After our first visit in June we are actually going to rendezvous in NYC in November which is quite exciting, that will be about 4 months apart.

Future visits and who is going where and when is the source of a great deal of anxiety, at least to me. It's hard to see an end to all of this.

[sunnymess54]

My SO and I are 2500 miles apart. We first saw each other in September for a week and again in December for a week and I'll be flying out next weekend for the weekend as time and money is tight right now. Going this long between visits Is awful. I hate it but we plan to close the distance by the end of this year if money and everything else comes together.

I commend all of you that have long waits between visits and have been together for years. We've only been together about 7 months and it's driving us crazy. Me so more than him it seems some days.