How long is a reasonable time to wait?

[Cookyllen]

take things slow first. Don't ask him to do things, dont plan ahead. Remember, dont get too attach to the person you haven't met yet, be careful or you might get hurt. Why can't he give you his facebook name? Why just the dating site? He can still chat to other girls on that app.
Just don't plan ahead and DON'T PLAN BY YOURSELF....

[Ella85]

I must admit if I'd of been in the same country as my SO I'd of met him a lot sooner. We waited 4 months. It was 2 months that I started planning the first trip. It was a HUGE step for us as I don't think he was as serious as I at that moment in time. Then it became real and he wasn't sure. But I told him the offer was there if he wanted to meet me. I ended up going and we're now married almost 2 years later. So I think you should say then, you'd like to meet when he is ready. Don't put pressure on. I must admit I was afraid he was going to end things at that point. But he decided to take a leap of faith. Although we do have our moments since we closed the distance, I have never once regretted getting on that flight from England. I am a jumper like you, so I can understand. But allow him that time to come around to the idea.

[Lou1973]

We pretty much went from the online dating app straight to swapping mobile numbers and all of our communicating has been either via text messaging and actual phone calls. We don't message each other on the dating site at all. We are both active on the dating site though, I still chat to guys from time to time on their, check messages and so browse and I know he does the same. I mean at this point that's OK I guess because we are still just talking and have not made any type of commitment to one another as we haven't even met yet. I must say I do get a teeny bit pissed off that he is talking to others when he has a great girl right in front of him which is me, grr! I asked him last week if he wanted to add me to his Facebook but he felt it was still too early for that, I got a little annoyed but obviously he doesn't want me on it so I didn't push the issue. I might just ask him again what his intentions are just so I can ensure we are still on the same page. Just something harmless like " So I'm just wondering whether after our talks you see me as a romantic interest that you may want to explore things with or just as a friend, I just need to check whether we are still looking for the same thing?"

I don't think that's being pushy.

[Lou1973]

OMFG he is coming on Sat 24 next weekend. I'm like in a dream right now, someone pinch me, he has booked his flight, holy shitballs I now have butterflies in my tummy😊

[Redheart14]

Good luck with it all

[R&R]

We pretty much went from the online dating app straight to swapping mobile numbers and all of our communicating has been either via text messaging and actual phone calls. We don't message each other on the dating site at all. We are both active on the dating site though, I still chat to guys from time to time on their, check messages and so browse and I know he does the same. I mean at this point that's OK I guess because we are still just talking and have not made any type of commitment to one another as we haven't even met yet. I must say I do get a teeny bit pissed off that he is talking to others when he has a great girl right in front of him which is me, grr! I asked him last week if he wanted to add me to his Facebook but he felt it was still too early for that, I got a little annoyed but obviously he doesn't want me on it so I didn't push the issue. I might just ask him again what his intentions are just so I can ensure we are still on the same page. Just something harmless like " So I'm just wondering whether after our talks you see me as a romantic interest that you may want to explore things with or just as a friend, I just need to check whether we are still looking for the same thing?"

I don't think that's being pushy.

You can't get upset with him for doing the same thing you are doing. If you want to show him that you are seriously interested in him only, then quit the dating site on your own. Otherwise, by your actions, you are showing him that you aren't fully interested in him. Apparently, he is also still pursuing other options as well. Until you both decide that you want to puruse an exlcusive relationship (which may or may not happen), then you are both free to date or talk to others all you want. This is how you find someone you really click with and are compatible with.

He's setting boundries that he is comfortable with. Getting pissy by not being on his FB after only knowing him a few weeks is a bit of a strong reaction. (My SO and I have been together almost 3 years and we aren't even on each others FB.) If you can't appreciate his pace on this whole thing, maybe it's time to move on and find someone who is more like you as far as how quickly you want to move in getting to know someone.

[Moon]

OMFG he is coming on Sat 24 next weekend. I'm like in a dream right now, someone pinch me, he has booked his flight, holy shitballs I now have butterflies in my tummy😊

Awesome, please let us know how it went!

[R&R]

OMFG he is coming on Sat 24 next weekend. I'm like in a dream right now, someone pinch me, he has booked his flight, holy shitballs I now have butterflies in my tummy😊

I hope it goes well for you.

[Lou1973]

Thank-you everyone I will come back and update you after the weekend. I hope it goes fantastically and the real life chemistry is there. Now I know he really likes me because I see I'm worth a trip😊

[Lou1973]

I think once I've spent the weekend with him and after talking to him on the phone for the last 4 weeks I'm pretty much going to have a fair idea of I want to pursue this with him and at that point considering if I do I will be more than happy to pull my dating profile down to focus on him and I and where things could go with us.

[Ella85]

Good luck. Hope it goes well for you.

[Lou1973]

It went well, we had a great time together. I think we will see each other again. Very early days, not rushing into anything, it will probably pay for each of us to separately evaluate our time together and see if we want to continue now that we have had the first meetup. I'm certainly keen to and I think he will be as I threw in a comment yesterday that next time it will be my turn to come and visit him and he seemed receptive to that but because men think differently to women he might not truly realize what he wants to do for a few days which is fine by me. The weekend was like one big long date so I'm not allowing myself to get too caught up or over excited at this stage. Will let nature take its course but definitely it was a good start. I guess the week or two ahead will determine if it's going to go anywhere and I will see if his level of interest is still there by the volume of phone calls and text messages, if they start to fade out then I guess I will know the answer but hopefully they stay consistent enough for me to maybe take a trip up to him next month. Sometimes when your dating it's hard to gauge the truth about what a man is really thinking and because some of them are nice genuine people they don't always have the courage to tell the woman during the time they are together that they may not want anything further to develop for fear of hurting the woman's feelings so that's why I say that the next week or two will define things a little better which is why I won't allow myself to overthink that there could be more. We did all the typical things - we held hands out in public, we kissed, we went to the beach, had lunch and dinner out, held conversation, joked, flirted and other intimate things, I know that doesn't mean everything in the dating world so I'm well aware not to get too caught up. On our last day he asked me to pose with him so he could take a photo of us on his phone, he took a few and it definitely wasn't initiated by me in anyway so I'm assuming he might want to continue exploring things between us as why on earth would he have taken pictures of us together, most men would not do that if they knew in their mind that they didn't want to see you again, so I think that was a good sign?? Also when we were sleeping at night he would cuddle into me so tight and hold my hand and kiss the top of my back without becoming sexual so I'm assuming that's another good sign??