For those of you who either are in or have been in a relationship with ongoing visits, I have the following question: who is the planner in your relationship, and does that ever change?
From the beginning, I have sort of taken charge when it comes to the planning process. It is something I enjoy, and it's also something I am pretty good at it. Typically, we come to some sort of plan on general time frame, general place (whether it's meeting halfway or where we visit or whatever) and then I sort of take the reins from there. Obviously I discuss suggestions with him before any decisions are made.
Anyway, the last time we were together, he had suggested spending some time together during the holidays. I agreed that I thought that was a nice idea, and we sort of said it was a "tentative" plan. However, it has not come up since. It hasn't been mentioned at all.
It was his suggestion, so I figured I would let him lead on this. I figured once he knows his work schedule and/or whether tentative becomes actual, he would let me know and we could get going on figuring out plans. At this point, we are roughly 2-3 weeks out. But, maybe since I am usually the planner on things, he is expecting me to be proactively doing something.
I feel it is a bit of a stalemate right now. It doesn't help that I have had some friends discourage me from mentioning it (bc they think he should put forth the effort, not me) and that has sort of gotten inside my head. If I don't do anything bc I am expecting him to come up with something; and he doesn't do anything bc he is expecting me to come up with plans like normal....we are sort of at an impasse. I guess I wish I knew a way of hinting at it or bringing it up without actually bringing it up....so that I can feel out what he is thinking on it, give him the opportunity to let him tell me his plans, in order to get the ball rolling.
From the beginning, I have sort of taken charge when it comes to the planning process. It is something I enjoy, and it's also something I am pretty good at it. Typically, we come to some sort of plan on general time frame, general place (whether it's meeting halfway or where we visit or whatever) and then I sort of take the reins from there. Obviously I discuss suggestions with him before any decisions are made.
Anyway, the last time we were together, he had suggested spending some time together during the holidays. I agreed that I thought that was a nice idea, and we sort of said it was a "tentative" plan. However, it has not come up since. It hasn't been mentioned at all.
It was his suggestion, so I figured I would let him lead on this. I figured once he knows his work schedule and/or whether tentative becomes actual, he would let me know and we could get going on figuring out plans. At this point, we are roughly 2-3 weeks out. But, maybe since I am usually the planner on things, he is expecting me to be proactively doing something.
I feel it is a bit of a stalemate right now. It doesn't help that I have had some friends discourage me from mentioning it (bc they think he should put forth the effort, not me) and that has sort of gotten inside my head. If I don't do anything bc I am expecting him to come up with something; and he doesn't do anything bc he is expecting me to come up with plans like normal....we are sort of at an impasse. I guess I wish I knew a way of hinting at it or bringing it up without actually bringing it up....so that I can feel out what he is thinking on it, give him the opportunity to let him tell me his plans, in order to get the ball rolling.
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