We finally met in real life..Now I'm heartbroken

[Bethypoo]

Im sorry hun. But at least it is done. You know that contacting him isnt going to happen and therefore you wont have the heartache of seeing his updates on his life via social networking sites. Karma will get to him. Love isnt about what you look like. At all. If he cant see that then he will be screwed in life and in love.

We are all here for you hun,

[Silvaria]

I'm very sorry that he said all those things, and I've been in your place in terms of -knowing- that I shouldn't make contact but being almost literally unable to stop myself.

Do try to learn from this, though...you already knew he was being mean, yet you continued giving him chances to hurt you. You may want to ask yourself -why- you did that...did you honestly think he was suddenly going to "see the light"? This is an opportunity for you to do some soul-searching, and perhaps discover why your self-esteem is low enough that you enabled someone who was already being cruel to continue being cruel, rather than holding your head up and walking away.

I don't know if you have any other methods of contacting him, but if you do and you find yourself thinking about it, please come here and post first, and give us a chance to talk you out of it. Absolutely, positively no good will come of it, and you'll only get hurt more, which is the last thing you need right now.

[Riyko]

*hugs* you're very welcome and feel free to stay here even though you aren't in an LDR . My ex and i broke up in July 2010 and yet i'm still here, it's like a family and you can always give advice about your experience and everyone here is nice (it's the reason i stayed after the break up).

[CandiCandi]

He keeps saying that you misrepresented yourself and that he wants someone more athletic, but he slept with you anyways? I am sorry, but what a creep! He is the one who is in the wrong here. I understand you had a moment of vulnerability when you decided to get intimate with him, but that's because you thought that you had someone worth it - you were together for six months. It's not as if it was a one week or one month thing. If anybody needed to pump the brakes, it was him. If he honestly felt those things, he needed to sit down and have a talk with you and be gentle about it. What an ass.

[Sunbeam]

I'm sorry this happened to you.
Maybe it's best you can't have contact for now? It'll give you space to heal.
We're all here for you. *hugs*

[Jkrose76]

OMG Hun I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can honestly say I know exactly how you feel. I went through something very similar a few years ago and its very similar to your experiences. I started crying when I read your posts as it brought back so many feelings and emotions from that relationship and the hurt i felt for so long.
I don't want to get into all the details of my relationship and hyjack your thread but its so similar its scarey.
I met him online, we were just friends for awhile. I tried to take it slow with him because it seemed to good to be true but I couldn't help myself the more we talked and texed, the more I fell in love with him. Everything he said was so perfect....almost scripted. When we finally met it was amazing at first...like a dream...but once I left everything changed. He started ignoring my calls, texts, e-mails..he became more and more distant. He refused to answer my questions and started becoming down right rude towards me. Through It all I still loved him so much and I refused to believe he didn't feel the same.
In the end he finally came clean and told me we weren't going to be compatible and he needed someone who wasn't so needy. He told me he didn't love me and wasn't sure if he ever did...he just got wrapped up in the emotions...and wanted to see where things led.
Sorry to ramble on....I also kept trying to contact him like you...hoping praying he would say something different and maybe it was all a bad dream. He finally blocked me from calling/texting..removed me from facebook and changed his status back to single. It felt like someone hit me over and over in the face.
I had self asteem issues before him (I'm a full figured girl) and very self conscious and I had started to feel better about myself since me and him dated and what little self asteem I had was gone. His words hurt so bad.
All I can tell you hun is it will hurt for a long time. I cried for weeks. I kept thinking about him and the way things were before! Then I was angry and depressed...slowly I got back on my feet and although I swore I would never date again (especially a LDR) here I am on the brink of falling in love with another man and another LDR. Believe me it isnt easy to trust. Im scared to death of being crushed again..but I am trying to move forward and you will too.
My only advice is..don't contact him anymore...no matter how bad you want to..It will only hurt you more.
Talk to friends , family....you have us here on this forum....you can PM me if you need someone to talk to. I know you don't know me but it helps to talk and tell your story.

Love and Hugs I will pray for you my friend

Jennifer

[raiblade3]

WOOOW!! OMG im soo sorry (That sucks like crazy! I don't understand why he would act so cold towards you after everything that happened. Heck i would be beyond happy if my SO came to visit... nd i would be missing her before she even left :/ I just don't understand....

[milaya]

I'm so sorry to hear your visit and LDR turned out like that.
It's very cold and indecent for him to end things like he did and I can't imagine how hurt you must feel.
I wish you all the best and I want to send a dozen of hugs.
I know you'll meet someone better in the future.

[Nathair]

oh baby, I am so so so sorry *biggest hug ever*
I'm sorry to say but I think your relationship is over, but YOU should end it.
The way his treated you is despicable, there is NO excuse.
If he loved you he wouldn't have had ANY expectations, and would accept you for everything you are (which is a wonderful, beautiful human being)
if he can't understand how amazing you are, he is not worth the dirt on the bottom of your shoes.

The "taking things slow" bullshit is him not being honest about how he really feels, if anything he just wants to lead you on because he is too much of a baby to break it off.
Don't let him drag you down, be strong!
we are all here for you and all love you.
Please, feel free to inbox me at anytime if you need to talk, but you deserve better.
I know it hurts, that weekend was supposed to be magical, and he ruined it. Don't give him the chance to hurt you over and over again.
You are a beautiful, strong woman, and don't let anyone walk on you <3

[floridaellen]

I wanted to share my story to help you maybe feel better!
In December 2009/January 2010, I started talking to a friend of my friend's boyfriend. He seemed perfect. We talked on the phone and texted for a while and agreed to meet up. I really thought I was falling for him. We made our relationship official on facebook and everything.
Then we actually met. We had a fun date night and such. We slept together (even though I didn't want to....he pressured me until I did, even locked the door so I couldn't leave).
He called me within the next week after ignoring me for a few days. He said I wasn't what he thought I would be and he didn't want to be in a relationship at all. Occasionally he contacts me but I don't want to talk to him after that.
Then I met my current SO on facebook. We talked on the phone and texted and agreed to meet up. I hoped he wasn't like the last one.
We met and as Taylor Swift says it, the sparks flew. It was perfect. Now we've been together for a pretty long time, although we had a short break.
It's a hit or miss thing. It can happen to anyone. Sometimes the chemistry isn't there, sometimes it is.

[LuvSsw]

..you already knew he was being mean, yet you continued giving him chances to hurt you. You may want to ask yourself -why- you did that...did you honestly think he was suddenly going to "see the light"? This is an opportunity for you to do some soul-searching, and perhaps discover why your self-esteem is low enough that you enabled someone who was already being cruel to continue being cruel, rather than holding your head up and walking away.

Silvaria...I was simply behaving like a desperate woman. I realize that. Once he left that reply it was like opening the floodgates. ..for both of us. I guess this whole thing has been such a shock to me that I truly just couldn't grasp the idea that he actually MEANT to do all of this. Indeed..soul searching is in order..and the process has begun. I promise, I will not contact him again....he said a mouthful and now I don't even WANT to. But if the thought crosses my mind..I will take you up on that offer and post here first.

[LuvSsw]

Jkrose76....WOW. Your experience is soooooooo similar. Those emotions are no joke. My goodness, there are some cruel people out there. You are not rambling on...i mean just look at my original post.(.and i actually wanted to write more...)..you are responding and taking precious time of yours to help me. I so appreciate that. This guy was constantly telling me that he was in love with my 'heart and mind' and that physical looks didn't matter.....but he flipped the script after we met...it sounds crazy when i see it typed on the screen..but just like you..the more we talked....the more i fell for him...he said the most beautiful things to me...now i see the manipulation on his part and it's actually kind of scarey. Another lesson there.

---------- Post added at 10:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:37 PM ----------

WOOOW!! OMG im soo sorry (That sucks like crazy! I don't understand why he would act so cold towards you after everything that happened. Heck i would be beyond happy if my SO came to visit... nd i would be missing her before she even left :/ I just don't understand....

That's because you are a descent guy She's lucky to have you~

[Minerva]

*big hugs* to you. God. What an ass. I know right now you're still hurting, and I know there's probably still a part of you in love with who you thought he was, but trust me, someday you're going to look back on this and realize you dodged a bullet. And I hope when you do you're especially thankful because this ass leaving your life left room for the wonderful man who respects you to come into it.

(Also, I get the need to contact someone even after the hurt. Done it many times myself. But you're chasing a ghost. The person you thought you loved isn't there. This didn't work out, not because of anything you did, but because this guy is a coward and an ass. You deserve better, you will find better, and it's time to forget the ghost.)

[LuvSsw]

We slept together (even though I didn't want to....he pressured me until I did, even locked the door so I couldn't leave).

Thank you for sharing....The above comment gave me pause though. There is a word for forcing someone to have sex against their will. I hope he didn't get away with this. Did he?

---------- Post added at 11:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:26 PM ----------

Minerva...I like the way you described that: 'The Ghost'. Yeah it's almost like a death of an idea of someone y'know? I promise to stop chasing the ghost...it was temporary insanity!

[floridaellen]

Thank you for sharing....The above comment gave me pause though. There is a word for forcing someone to have sex against their will. I hope he didn't get away with this. Did he?[COLOR="Silver"]

Unfortunately, he did. I sent mixed signals so I didn't want to go to court and attest to that. But it was an experience that made me stronger. I have come to terms with what happened and am much more cautious in my everyday life.
You will find a guy who will love and respect you fully, I am sure of it!