I really think this post is going to be a garbled mess but I can't organize my thoughts in my own head right now. I think I am relapsing with the depression. It's getting worse again. All those awful thoughts I was plagued with for six months before receiving treatment are coming back. I could not get out of bed this morning to go to class. So, I skipped it. My attention span is pretty low now too. This all sucks! I want to be cured of this disorder. I was doing so well; I don't know what happened. I've been taking my medicine every day in the dosages I am supposed to be. *sigh* This is too hard. Depression 1, Jen 0.
My SO and I...well, we may be having a visit soon, but it depends on his schoolwork and how much he has. I really really want this trip to happen. If it works, I'll be there in 10 days! If not, he'll be home in 39. I am dying to see him! I just want a definite yes answer! But, I don't know how to get it. I am trying to get my SO to talk on the phone with me but every time I try to arrange, I always end up trying at a bad time. Stupid projects, labs, homework, etc. It's going to be homecoming weekend the weekend I am choosing, so there will be major hockey games going on all weekend which I love and so does he, so I really want to go see the games! So, it's not like Anthony will be doing homework all weekend. And when he is doing work, I have my own school work I want to get done and a book I am hoping to start reading. I just want to be in the same room as him! He is afraid that he will neglect me because of his school work. I'd felt neglected one other time I was there and I think he's afraid of it happening again. I really just want to see him. I've matured a lot since the last time we were LD. Gosh I just need this to work. Even if he says it won't work, I really am tempted to drive up anyway lol. He'd probably get mad, but then he'd be like "Well, it's YOU so I can't be mad!" Why does this have to be so hard?
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Im sorry to hear that, but glad it's turned out ok. I dont like revealing stuff about other people without their consent, but that's kinda relevant to my situation too. Would be ok to say more about it via pm, thats only if you wanna hear though.
Hope you guys can figure something out (:
I hope you get your visit, even if you're only there to provide him with food and cuddle to sleep. Sometimes that's all you get CD too, so I don't think it's a waste.
Be kind to yourself!