I really think this post is going to be a garbled mess but I can't organize my thoughts in my own head right now. I think I am relapsing with the depression. It's getting worse again. All those awful thoughts I was plagued with for six months before receiving treatment are coming back. I could not get out of bed this morning to go to class. So, I skipped it. My attention span is pretty low now too. This all sucks! I want to be cured of this disorder. I was doing so well; I don't know what happened. I've been taking my medicine every day in the dosages I am supposed to be. *sigh* This is too hard. Depression 1, Jen 0.

My SO and I...well, we may be having a visit soon, but it depends on his schoolwork and how much he has. I really really want this trip to happen. If it works, I'll be there in 10 days! If not, he'll be home in 39. I am dying to see him! I just want a definite yes answer! But, I don't know how to get it. I am trying to get my SO to talk on the phone with me but every time I try to arrange, I always end up trying at a bad time. Stupid projects, labs, homework, etc. It's going to be homecoming weekend the weekend I am choosing, so there will be major hockey games going on all weekend which I love and so does he, so I really want to go see the games! So, it's not like Anthony will be doing homework all weekend. And when he is doing work, I have my own school work I want to get done and a book I am hoping to start reading. I just want to be in the same room as him! He is afraid that he will neglect me because of his school work. I'd felt neglected one other time I was there and I think he's afraid of it happening again. I really just want to see him. I've matured a lot since the last time we were LD. Gosh I just need this to work. Even if he says it won't work, I really am tempted to drive up anyway lol. He'd probably get mad, but then he'd be like "Well, it's YOU so I can't be mad!" Why does this have to be so hard?