I know, two blog entries in a row, not good

But there are two things that makes me worry about the future and I have to get it down somewhere. (and I know it's late). I put mature content in the title, but hopefully it's okay.

The first thing is that I have a lung problem, for some reason, probably, a vein is bursting and causes it to fill my right lung with blood. No doctors knows why and they don't know if it's a vein. It first occured in autumn 2013 ( a few weeks before I met my SO) and came again at summer 2014. Year 2015 is soon over but I still fear the day it will come back. That's a worry I walk with, to knowing that the blood in lung can come anytime, anywhere and not knowing what's causing this. Because of this I don't dare to do things I used to do, rollercoasters, air pressure things, lift heavy things which have made me thin. I hope for future that the docs knows what it is and can treat it. Those coughing blood feels like to drown in your own blood. And because I don't dare to do heavy things that requires me to make an effort with lungs, I'm terrified that if I give birth, when pushing my lung problem will occur. Maybe it's a silly thought but it scares me. What will happen to the baby then if so? What will happen to me in that situation?

And the other thing is something that I don't know if I have, but it feels like it. It's called "endometriosis" ( see this link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis )
I have many of the symtoms, including having pain when having sex, tampoon problem, constipated and period pain when I don't have period or ovulation. Sometimes I can get a suddenly, stabbing pain in my abdomen, and I don't do any ppills or sex at current time. I've been reading about it and it's often hard to diagnose this, 5-10 years, and I may not have it. But if I have, there's an infertility of at least 40-50%. And if I'm infertile, I don't know... I'm just so scared that I can't have children, being pregnant in the future. And that's a thing I would want to experience, so I hope I don't have it. And I hope that I have the courage to bring it up to gyn someday. This is a topic that turns my stomach, aches, worries, scares and makes me cry when thinking about the possibilities of I might have this. I think I can go with those symtoms but not infertility.