The Cycle

I have noticed during the time we have been LD, I go through a cycle in regards to the time difference we have. At the top of the cycle, I don't mind staying up till 2-3am talking and I want to talk more even though I know I need to go to bed. Then there is the bottom where I can't stand it, I'm tired of waiting, and I'm angry at him for making me wait. Then there's a melt-down, then I make my way back round to the top. The cycle goes round.

Right now, you might have guessed, I am at the bottom. My clocks went back last Sunday, his don't till this Sunday. "Yes!" I thought, "Only a 4 hour time difference this week!" I thought we'd get more time to talk together and hang out. But of course not. Because he is an Engineer and they work stupid hours. Monday was our 2 year anniversary. If my clocks hadn't gone back, I probably wouldn't have talked to him at all, because he got back so late. Last night, we didn't talk at all. I stayed up late, even though I have to be up on a Wednesday morning for work, and still nothing. I got tired of waiting and went to bed. Woke up to a message saying he got back till really late and he was sorry blah blah blah. Sorry but it won't stop him keeping on doing it.

I can't help but think this is all I've got to look forward too. When I can over there, there will be 3-4 months of having no work permit, then who knows how long it will take me to get a job once I get the permit. I will have to learn to drive, but in the meantime I'll be stuck in the apartment all day, everyday waiting till he comes home. And if he's coming back 8 at night... I'm going to be so lonely

I'm giving everything up for an empty apartment on the other side of the world. All I seem to do is wait. And it looks like that's what I'm going to be doing for a long time.

I hate being at the bottom... hope we can have this out later so I can get back to the top.

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6 comments

#4

Zephii commented

November 3, 2011, 04:20 PM

Editing a comment
I don't really know much about engineering or how flexible his hours are, but would it be possible for him to go to work earlier rather than stay later? This is what Obi does because I get the shits with him if he is repeatedly home late (later than 7pm). Some mornings that means he has to get up at 5am or whatever, but it helps because whilst he is still out of the house for a rediculous amount of hours, I can sleep through a chunk of them, and that doesn't make it seem as long to me.

Hang in there! Can you make a guestimate at how much longer this visa might be?
#5

nicole commented

November 3, 2011, 05:39 PM

Editing a comment
he already gets up at 5, which is why I get pissed he can can back home at 8pm some nights. I've just pretty much resigned myself to the fact that apart from closing the distance, this next year is going to be a pile of shit for me. there's actually nothing else he can do but promise me he's not going to turn into a robot like the rest of them are in his office.

The visa should take 7 months. we're almost 4 months in. but I just saw one UK one take 11... so I really don't know anymore. this year = pile of shit pretty much covers it.
#6

Zephii commented

November 3, 2011, 07:15 PM

Editing a comment
Erk! I'm so sorry to hear that
Always here to listen if you need to vent.

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The Cycle

The Cycle