One subject that my SO and I talked about last night was me making friends when I get up there. I completely adore him, but I am going to need friends outside of that, as well. Most of his friends are guys and I don't really have a problem with any of them. However, here's the deal: I hang out with no one where I live currently. I kind of like it that way, because as I am moving, there will be no tough goodbyes - minus the one with my mom and maybe my grandma. My grandma will probably be holding herself together, while my mom cries in a few weeks when I get on the bus.
All that being said, another reason I haven't been socializing with people here the past couple of years, is that A) The people I want to socialize with are extremely busy. One has a five year old and a newborn who are both precious. I have talked to my SO about this friend and almost cried when I had said to him, "There's no doubt about it, she's probably a good mother." We haven't hung out since we were about thirteen but we are friends on Facebook. My friend, Ashley, I have known since we were BORN. Literally and every time I try to make plans with her or her family, they seem to kinda fall apart. She is also currently trying to have her first baby, however. This could play into that. Lastly, my friend Tanya, moved to Austin which is quite a far trip from Carrollton/Dallas. My cousin is extremely distant towards the whole family. She talks to us, but it's always a once in awhile thing and she also used to be my best friend.
After that, most of the people who are available to hang out with are people that -want/need- something or people who are heavy into drugs, partying, and doing stupid, stupid things and trying to pull me into that lifestyle which isn't me. I live in a suburb of a party city AND a college town (it's half Denton/half Dallas) so it's always been hard for me to meet people like that aren't like that. So, here we go...
My SO also lives in a college town. A lot of bars. The majority of people go out to drink to have a good time. You know, no big deal. If they like it, they like it. I don't judge them for it, but I don't want to join in with it either! I think we agreed I am probably going to end up making friends at the job I get.
I asked him last night if there were any girls he knew I would get along with. As I said, I am totally down for hanging out with his male friends, but I KNOW you girls know what I mean. However, he already tried to introduce me to one girl last summer when we got together and that all fell apart. I had a weird feeling about her, but gave her a chance anyway and she ended up messaging me this long letter asking me if I really cared about my SO and how his ex-girlfriend says I'm gonna use him and she wants to make sure I'm not and blah blah blah. Ever since, he's been worried about introducing me to other girls. Not through a fault of my own, but because he doesn't want it to happen to me again. He says all the girls he knows don't seem the type to pull that shit, but he didn't think SHE was the type to pull that shit, either. I'm already not really impressed with his brother's girlfriend. She has her good side, but she is also very judgmental and has a temper when she isn't pleased which seems just about never. There is one of his ex-girlfriends that I think actually seems like a total sweetheart (before anyone says anything, this was a middle school relationship that lasted like, a week. She is married and also just had a baby yesterday). He said he actually did think we would get along, she's cut his son's hair before, and she's super nice. Only thing is, as I mentioned, she did just have a child so I don't know how hanging out would go. You know what I mean?
So, my point is...how did you make friends outside of your SO, passed work when you closed the distance? What can someone who doesn't drink/smoke/party (there is no bending on this, alcoholism and drug addiction run in the family and it is a deep personal issue) do to find friends in a college town outside of his group? I am totally willing to meet his friends, keep that in mind! I just want to try and branch out some, too!
All that being said, another reason I haven't been socializing with people here the past couple of years, is that A) The people I want to socialize with are extremely busy. One has a five year old and a newborn who are both precious. I have talked to my SO about this friend and almost cried when I had said to him, "There's no doubt about it, she's probably a good mother." We haven't hung out since we were about thirteen but we are friends on Facebook. My friend, Ashley, I have known since we were BORN. Literally and every time I try to make plans with her or her family, they seem to kinda fall apart. She is also currently trying to have her first baby, however. This could play into that. Lastly, my friend Tanya, moved to Austin which is quite a far trip from Carrollton/Dallas. My cousin is extremely distant towards the whole family. She talks to us, but it's always a once in awhile thing and she also used to be my best friend.
After that, most of the people who are available to hang out with are people that -want/need- something or people who are heavy into drugs, partying, and doing stupid, stupid things and trying to pull me into that lifestyle which isn't me. I live in a suburb of a party city AND a college town (it's half Denton/half Dallas) so it's always been hard for me to meet people like that aren't like that. So, here we go...
My SO also lives in a college town. A lot of bars. The majority of people go out to drink to have a good time. You know, no big deal. If they like it, they like it. I don't judge them for it, but I don't want to join in with it either! I think we agreed I am probably going to end up making friends at the job I get.
I asked him last night if there were any girls he knew I would get along with. As I said, I am totally down for hanging out with his male friends, but I KNOW you girls know what I mean. However, he already tried to introduce me to one girl last summer when we got together and that all fell apart. I had a weird feeling about her, but gave her a chance anyway and she ended up messaging me this long letter asking me if I really cared about my SO and how his ex-girlfriend says I'm gonna use him and she wants to make sure I'm not and blah blah blah. Ever since, he's been worried about introducing me to other girls. Not through a fault of my own, but because he doesn't want it to happen to me again. He says all the girls he knows don't seem the type to pull that shit, but he didn't think SHE was the type to pull that shit, either. I'm already not really impressed with his brother's girlfriend. She has her good side, but she is also very judgmental and has a temper when she isn't pleased which seems just about never. There is one of his ex-girlfriends that I think actually seems like a total sweetheart (before anyone says anything, this was a middle school relationship that lasted like, a week. She is married and also just had a baby yesterday). He said he actually did think we would get along, she's cut his son's hair before, and she's super nice. Only thing is, as I mentioned, she did just have a child so I don't know how hanging out would go. You know what I mean?
So, my point is...how did you make friends outside of your SO, passed work when you closed the distance? What can someone who doesn't drink/smoke/party (there is no bending on this, alcoholism and drug addiction run in the family and it is a deep personal issue) do to find friends in a college town outside of his group? I am totally willing to meet his friends, keep that in mind! I just want to try and branch out some, too!
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