Moving abroad, emotional rollercoaster

[Off2Spain]

So exactly one week from now I'm moving to Spain for a year. Its what I've wanted for a long time and I've been working towards this for a whole year now.
But now as it's almost happening I find myself crying over almost everything. I'm leaving behind everything, when I come back I won't be living where I live now and I will lose my wonderful roomie and also best friend with whom I've really lived all my college experiences with and discussed every aspect of our lives with. Today I'm packing up everything I own and tomorrow I will leave my comfortable room where I've lived for 4 years.
I've sold almost all my furniture, my first pieces of furniture bought by myself. Its hitting me now that I'm leaving behind my entire life and it won't be there when I come back. Every last thing I do here brings me into tears, like today I said goodbye to the kids I've been taking care of every tuesday for 4 years. And moments like these I'm just asking myself why the hell I'm doing this. Going to Spain is one of my dreams and ofcourse I will be with my boyfriend finally but its just an emotional rollercoaster right now.

So, how did you deal with this? Does it get better soon? Any tips on how to make this less painfull?

Thank you =)

[mllebamako]

The emotional rollercoaster is totally normal! I have moved overseas 6 or 7 times so I definitely have felt that pain Going into an unknown situation and leaving behind what is comfortable is scary and hard.

I don't really have any tips--don't let your fears/worries overtake you, remind yourself that it's normal and everyone goes through it. And remind yourself that we have to push ourselves outside of our comfort limits to learn and grow.
It'll continue being a rollercoaster for awhile (at least in my experience it has). You'll have moments of excitement and discovery and other moments of frustration, fear, and just wanting to go home. But you'll make it through and you'll be glad you did!

[Haley53]

I'll be leaving to travel and live with my boyfriend for a year starting next summer, and I have these worries sometimes even now, so I'm stalking this thread.

The one thing that has so far brought me a little bit of solace is similar to what mllebamako said: we learn and grow by pushing ourselves outside of our limits. I have always tried to look at it as not leaving one life behind (the important things, such as friends and family, not so much furniture*, in your case) but as building on it. I have always looked at the situation as that I am creating extensions of myself to help me expand as an individual and become more in touch with the identity I'm creating on a daily basis. I suppose the one thing that's brought me some solace is that I'm looking at it as an opportunity, something I have wanted to do for so long that I'm being agentic about and making happen, even if it's terrifying.

My professor covered in class last night, he said that there were often things that we want to do or that we're passionate about, and when we find those things, they're scary. We worry about the "what if"s. We worry about what's going to happen. We worry, because something inside of us is calling us there but "there" is beyond anything we've ever known. He said "go there," because we'd regret it to not follow that calling in our hearts, even if our minds are bombarding us with overwhelming "what if"s and other emotions. He also said that as someone who's been there, done that, it's worth it.

ETA: Oops, forgot to include this:

*I'm not saying furniture isn't important, especially when it's so sentimental, but when it comes down to the core of what's important, friends and family > furniture. You will have plenty more times to buy "first furniture" for yourself, depending on which way you think about it.

[lucybelle]

It'll get better. Not immediately, but eventually. The first week I was in CR, I cried every single day. I wanted to be excited, but I wasn't. I was overly emotional for about 2 or 3 weeks. Then I started loving it here. So, give it time. Best wishes

[Tooki]

Good luck to you!

Although, I LOVE (legitimately) living abroad. I moved 1000km away from home (interstate) and I enjoyed it from the start. I want to do study abroad next year and the thought of it doesn't bring any negativity. Just give it time, and you will adjust

[Off2Spain]

Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely stoked about going to Spain and I dont regret my decision or anything. I'm just the worst person with goodbyes and I tend to get attached to anything and everything. However I moved all my stuff yesterday to my parents house and it wasnt difficult at all. It comes in ups and downs, its too weird.
But Eclaires words defenitely make sense. Making steps like these help you grow. Also I feel it's kind of liberating just to leave everything behind and start over new somewhere else.
Well, there's five days left for me now and these last days are filled with painting my old room white in order to get my deposit back, exams, last minute things like dentist visits, paper work for Spain and farewell drinks with my friends. So I hope being busy like that wont even allow me to think all too much about the adventure I'm about to start!

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate hearing from people who are going through the same thing because you actually understand all the mixed feelings =)

[Sierra]

You know, to be honest, I was way more stressed about moving until I was actually on my way. It hurt, I was upset to see everyone I know for possibly the last time. Like you, everything made me cry...but after I got those last tears out on the road, I was more ok than I wasn't. I was hospitalized when I got here, and that made me really homesick, but as soon as I was where I wanted to be (here in Texas) everything felt better, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I feel happy and peaceful.

I can only wish you the best and hope that this happens to you. Don't forget that you can still remain in contact with all your friends and going to Spain for a year isn't the same as falling off the face of the Earth! You're going to have an amazing time, keep telling yourself that and it'll happen. It's ok to feel the emotions that you're feeling now, just don't let them hold you back.

[Off2Spain]

That must have been a scary time, being hospitalized! Hopefully you're all good now!

I think its more the realizing part thats getting me, I''m just now realizing that its actually happening. But I feel quite okay now. It's not too much the moving part but also the closing the distance part. I'm not used to living in the same country as my SO. We're doing really good and I dont want that to change. Its all just a tad scary, but way more exciting than scary.
Right now I keep myself busy with fitting a years worth of clothing and items in 20 kgs and passing my last exam I must say now, fitting everything into 20 kgs is even more scary than closing the distance heheheh