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Distance Closed...Whats Next???

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    #1

    Distance Closed...Whats Next???

    I hope I am posting this in the correct place....My s/o and I closed the distance almost a month ago. Although we are still in the process of getting to know one another (we've been dating since June-yes we moved very fast!!) and seeing what it is like to live in the same state, I kind of feel blah about it all. I pictured myself being wayyy more exicted about this once it happened, but now that it actually has-I just feel okay. Not overjoyed, but okay...

    Its not that I love him any less- I truly do love him and want to be with him, but I also have that "now what" feeling since we have moved in together. Our goal since my second time visiting him was to close the distance and now that we have did that, I almost feel like what else do we look forward to? I know this may sound foolish and even ungrateful to some, but don't get me wrong I love him and am very happy we both found amazing jobs in our fields and were able to even close the distance. I also have some other feelings that aren't so great. Perhaps the feelings are apart of me just adjusting to the new area and adjusting to our now closed distance relationship.

    To the people who have closed the distance, how did you feel after it was done? How did you adjust as a couple once the distance was closed? Were there any lull periods during that time?

    Hopefully folks will understand this post as I found myself rambling (now) quite a bit...
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    #2
    Now you live like all other cd couples do, make plans to look forward to. Hopefully everything works out, I found moving in too quickly was one of the main reasons it didn't work out.

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      #3
      Agreed with snow_girl. "Now what" is, travel together, even if it's just to the town you live in. Or maybe to a town 30 mins from where you are now, go adventuring. Go on dates. Hang out. Are you renting or did you buy a place? Decorate it together. Start a project. Try new things.

      Our "now what" is "get us through the end of the year, and then we can finally relax".


      2016 Goal: Buy a house.
      Progress: Complete!

      2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
      Progress: Working on it.

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by lyonsgirl View Post
        Agreed with snow_girl. "Now what" is, travel together, even if it's just to the town you live in. Or maybe to a town 30 mins from where you are now, go adventuring. Go on dates. Hang out. Are you renting or did you buy a place? Decorate it together. Start a project. Try new things.

        Our "now what" is "get us through the end of the year, and then we can finally relax".
        I like the idea of traveling together-I will talk to him about possibly planning a weekend getaway after the holidays. We are renting for a year and if we make it past that point, we will visit the idea of marriage/buying a home ect....
        He has given me full reign (with some ideas/requests) of the decorating for the most part. We do weekly date nights, but i like the idea of trying other new things together. Thank you for responding.

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          #5
          Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
          Now you live like all other cd couples do, make plans to look forward to. Hopefully everything works out, I found moving in too quickly was one of the main reasons it didn't work out.
          Thank you for the response. I can now see how moving in too soon can contribute to things not working out, but thankfully we aren't at that point.

          Comment

            #6
            how did you feel after it was done? I felt good after it was done. The only issue I really had was getting out of always feeling like it was just a visit. I kept expecting to have to pack up my bags at any time and leave again. I didn't even unpack my things until almost 2 weeks after I was there because for some reason I just couldn't get it to sink in that I wasn't going anywhere this time. Luckily it passed though.

            How did you adjust as a couple once the distance was closed? We adjusted very well actually for a couple who were around each other 24/7. A lot of people say that if you move in together and spend every waking minute with each other then that can be bad,well it didn't really seem to effect us that much. We had our spats (and I call them this because they were never real arguments) like any other couple about certain things,but that was pretty much it.

            Were there any lull periods during that time? We did at one point. But that was due to our situation we were in more then it had to do with us or our relationship. There was a certain individual in Ds life that we were living with that was causing issues between us because of the way she was treating D and I.

            Our what now - We actually just moved to Florida 2 weeks ago to be closer to his school. We rented an apartment and now he's finishing his online classes before he starts his campus classes in February. Now we're trying to get through these first couple of months of being in a new place and hopefully this upcoming year I'll be going back to school myself and we'll be getting married. That's pretty much it. Just taking it a day at a time.

            ♥ In 666 Ways I Love You & My Heaven Is Wherever You Are. I'm For You. ♥

            We Met: June 9,2010
            Back Together: August 1,2012
            First Visit: September 21,2012 - September 29,2012
            Second Visit: January 13,2013 - February 24,2013
            Engaged: January 17,2013
            Closed The Distance-MS - AZ: June 15th,2013
            Moved To FL Together: November 14,2013
            We Got Married! - July 3,2014
            SO Graduated College - August 7,2015
            Moved to Ky - August 10, 2015

            Comment

              #7
              Just stating what the other ladies already have- date nights, cooking together, decorating, planning small trips, planning big trips, going on walks, cleaning... etc. Basically what you did before as a couple, only now you get to do it together!

              Comment

                #8
                I imagine we will travel more together than to each other... Maybe his home town to see his family, or to his old workplace to see his friends, certainly to his country. And maybe go to my family cabin, to see friends (we both have friends both in my city and in the capital), maybe show him the place I grew up, guess there are lots of things to do, plus his studies & work out & my daily life. I guess life together will get some dull flavour as well (as daily life always ius a bit dull at times), but that dullness may be cozy too - to be able to enjoy just a quiet evening at home and not having to spend lots of money just to see each otehr
                I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                Comment

                  #9
                  Thank you for the response. All in all everything has been good, but I do like everyone's idea of maybe planning to do more together such as date nights and establishing more of a routine since we are now living together.
                  Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                  I imagine we will travel more together than to each other... Maybe his home town to see his family, or to his old workplace to see his friends, certainly to his country. And maybe go to my family cabin, to see friends (we both have friends both in my city and in the capital), maybe show him the place I grew up, guess there are lots of things to do, plus his studies & work out & my daily life. I guess life together will get some dull flavour as well (as daily life always ius a bit dull at times), but that dullness may be cozy too - to be able to enjoy just a quiet evening at home and not having to spend lots of money just to see each otehr

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Thank you for your response! We are in the process of planning a small trip or two together as well as continuing to get settled in our new place. I am excited that we do get to do things together now
                    Originally posted by lucybelle View Post
                    Just stating what the other ladies already have- date nights, cooking together, decorating, planning small trips, planning big trips, going on walks, cleaning... etc. Basically what you did before as a couple, only now you get to do it together!

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I am very happy that we no longer have to plan visits and book flights just to see one another, I think the adjustment period of us getting to know one another closed distance as well as the changes moving and starting a new job all in once is what I found overwhelming and caused me to start to feel blah...Thanks for your post
                      Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                      I imagine we will travel more together than to each other... Maybe his home town to see his family, or to his old workplace to see his friends, certainly to his country. And maybe go to my family cabin, to see friends (we both have friends both in my city and in the capital), maybe show him the place I grew up, guess there are lots of things to do, plus his studies & work out & my daily life. I guess life together will get some dull flavour as well (as daily life always ius a bit dull at times), but that dullness may be cozy too - to be able to enjoy just a quiet evening at home and not having to spend lots of money just to see each otehr

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Thank you for your response, I am glad to hear that everything is going well and you guys are adjusted. We live right up the road from you all in Lake Mary-found an awesome house to rent there at the last minute! I was just in Winter Park this weekend at the Cheesecake Factory

                        I like the idea of taking things a day at a time. I think for us I do need some alone time which wasn't happening at first because he would want to be around one another 24/7-thank goodness we are both working full-time!

                        Once again, thank you for your post

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