How do you resist the urge to pack up and go?

[Dziubka]

When we were still LD there wasn't a single visit that I didn't think "what would happen if I didn't get on that plane/train home? Would it really be that stupid?" I considered that option on every single visit.
And I always did get on that plane/train in the end.
Why? Because while maybe it wouldn't have been that bad, it wouldn't have been very smart either. I didn't want to close the distance and be unhappy because I gave up on my education or a job. I didn't want to have to go back to LD or get resentful.
I think it's important that you make a plan. Personally I wouldn't want to be in a LDR without an end date. So we had to look into how we could close the distance in a way that would benefit both of us and that gave us the biggest possible security of actually being able to stay together and then we worked towards that.
I'd also look into it realistically. If I had just stayed on any of our visits, then we would have had to stay with his parents in their small apartment and I would have had very little money and an unfinished degree.
It was definitely worth to wait a bit longer and plan everything and wait until the situation was right, because we're both happy where we are right now, not only because we are together.

[Heavenly_Love12]

You just have to do what will be best for your future individually and together. I cannot move because I'm in the military and am not due for orders until June 2015. My SO and I plan to close the distance around that time. He technically could move but that's not what is best right now. He has bills to pay and is trying to save up more money. He is also going back to school and does plan to transfer or go through his school's online program but it is good for him to have a solid foundation to start with.

I go back and forth on what is best to do in regards to staying in the military or not though. It would be so much easier if I were to get out of active duty and go back home since we are from the same city. That would delay closing the distance by a few months but then we could be settled. There are a lot of options and decisions but I would never just make a rush decision, it's not my nature.

[BagOfPenguins]

For me it's a bit different because it's only for a year anyway, after that I will go back and move in with him. For the time being, I'm trying to focus on getting the degree. What's difficult though is that I don't really have a regular life here. I'm super busy so I don't really have a lot of time to make an effort to get to know people and I don't have a lot of things here that I usually have to entertain myself. So I don't just miss my SO, but also my friends and familiy and everything. I thouht about going home for christmas, but for one thing the flights are super expensive and it would be much more difficult to settle in again in korea afterwards.

[Ahava]

If I didn't have children I would and could do just that. Pack my bags and go try find a job over there. Or go there to study or whatever. At least to see him for longer periods of time. But both of us having kids makes this a much longer ldr.
My youngest just turned six...
But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love him and I'd rather have a little bit of him now and then than not at all.

[Sophie0170]

Absolutely. I get days where I'm patient and I understand that things can't just happen that quickly - my bf and I are both young so either of us moving to another country is a big step and isn't ideal right now but other days I just wish I could get on a plane and go be with my him..

Just have to wait for the 'right time' ...

[Moon]

Absolutely. I get days where I'm patient and I understand that things can't just happen that quickly - my bf and I are both young so either of us moving to another country is a big step and isn't ideal right now but other days I just wish I could get on a plane and go be with my him..

Just have to wait for the 'right time' ...

A little suggestion, since your both EU and you could move to Finland easily. If that's in anyway the plan, start learning Finnish NOW, you will not get a job without it, and it's incredibly difficult for native English speakers to learn. Good luck!

[Yaaamiii]

Oh man I wish...soon....soon >___<.

[Tooki]

A little suggestion, since your both EU and you could move to Finland easily. If that's in anyway the plan, start learning Finnish NOW, you will not get a job without it, and it's incredibly difficult for native English speakers to learn. Good luck!

This. Finnic languages are really difficult for non Finns/Estonians to learn. Also, as Moon said, the Finnish job market is very restrictive if you don't speak Finnish.

I have these thoughts too. I won't know how I'll cope once I get home...

[TexastoFinland]

HAHA the 19 hour plane ride keeps me from doing it. It's hell and it takes days to get over. I cant just go like that. I need at least a week to get anything from it!

[Ejoriah]

I've thought about it, but dropping out of school would make me illegal in this country. He's thought about it, and was looking for jobs in this area, but I am graduating and there is nothing tying me to this place, so it made no sense for him to move now.

[.:*Shaunna*:.]

Bills keep me from doing it, I have set goals for myself etc to reach before I move so that's the main reason. It's still so tempting to just up and leave at times, I hate that it's money that is keeping us apart

[TwoThree]

Money and lack of annual leave days, mostly. I mean I could definitely afford a plane ticket right now, but it wouldn't be reasonable given my savings plan.

[TwoThree]

A little suggestion, since your both EU and you could move to Finland easily. If that's in anyway the plan, start learning Finnish NOW, you will not get a job without it, and it's incredibly difficult for native English speakers to learn. Good luck!

Another way to close the distance would be moving for studies. Several Finnish universities and polytechnics offer programs and degrees in English, so that could be a viable option before considering the crappy Finnish job market.

[stormy]

Thank you to everyone for your replies! Although I do not have children, the point of making sure to having the best possible ground to start on really stood out to me. Suddenly going will definitely not be the easiest of times, even if I go sooner than planned I should definitely make sure that it can go as smoothly as possible.

Thanks again!

[Boston's girl]

I have two boys, that are 14 & 12. They keep me from packing up my dogs & my car with whatever would fit & going. I could never leave them...