I'm scared to close the distance

[teachernicole]

Brigham Young University.

https://home.byu.edu/home/

Research where you're going. I felt so much better about spending weeks and months in Brazil when I learned about the area!

[mllebamako]

We don't 100% know if we will move there just one place he said maybe
And when I looked at byu it took me to a school help please ?

It's not about BYU specifically. It's just a major university in Provo and I think people were surprised that you didn't know it, seeing as you are moving to that area.

[itsjen516]

It's not about BYU specifically. It's just a major university in Provo and I think people were surprised that you didn't know it, seeing as you are moving to that area.

I just havnt looked at schools since I want to work a little 1st before I stress over school I need to warm up to the area . I don't do well in schools since I have learning disbality and I used to be builled a lot so I'm scared of schools to be honest that's why I havnt looked into schools yet.
Only thing I looked at really was cost of living places to live but that's really it :/

[Ejoriah]

It's not just that it's a school, but what the school's been famous in the news for. Try googling BYU and clicking the news tab.

[itsjen516]

My phones being stupid saying invalid for the news and Imiage what's it famous for ?
I'm just confused why it matters anyways since neither of us go there or plan to ?

[mllebamako]

It has nothing to do with the school! I know you won't be going there but the school is a major part of Provo/Utah life. The point is that when you said you didn't know what BYU was, it just showed that you haven't done much research on the area. It'd be like saying you were moving to New York City and hadn't heard of...I don't know...Times Square or something.

[Moon]

My phones being stupid saying invalid for the news and Imiage what's it famous for ?
I'm just confused why it matters anyways since neither of us go there or plan to ?

You've heard of Penn State, MIT, Harvard, University of California, right? BYU is just as well known, it's a huge Mormon (though I don't think you have to be Mormon) University and pretty synonymous with Utah and Mormonism, that's why people are more than a little surprised that you don't know what it is, and makes them think you've done no independent research into the place you are supposed to move to. You have the internet, start with the Wiki for Utah, start reading and don't stop until you're familiar with where you're going. Do not depend on your boyfriend, do it yourself.

[lyonsgirl]

In case you need ideas on what to start looking for: each time I moved, I searched for places to live, churches nearby, things to do in the area. Places to eat, sports teams (even though I don't care much for pro-sports), if there are any universities in the area (because if there are, then the area is going to be packed with college students walking around), where I can go shopping, grocery stores, possible veterinarians, eye doctors, movie theaters - that's just a starting point.

Take a look at what you do now in a typical month, and do some research on that - in the areas where you might move to.

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I'm scared of losing friends I had , I'm scared of not being able to find a job I'm scared to go back to school I'm starting a whole new career path, here in NY I wasn't doing anything in school I would just show up to say I did but now I took time off I'm older now and I want to start going to school for nursing but that in it's self is hard so I'm scared it will cause stress. I'm sad to not see my family anymore the church I go to just the idea of a new life scares me

All of that is very understandable, but look at the good things, and look at it as an adventure: You will be with the man you love, in a very different, but beautiful, region of the country. Yes, you will be a long way from your family, but not so far away you will never see them. Flights to the East Coast aren't too long or too expensive, so why wouldn't you be able to go back once in a while, maybe for Christmas, for example. Starting school in a new place might be good, as a new start. Have you checked on the schools available, checked the requirements, etc.

As for the Church, have you really talked to your SO about it? Do you know what you will be getting yourself into? How does it compare with the church you went to back home? Will your family be supportive or not? As a former Latter-day Saint, I can honestly tell you being a Mormon is challenging, stressful, and a very demanding lifestyle. It's a culture of its own, right down to politics (the majority of Mormons are Republican, and extremely Conservative). There are a lot of rules, and 'worthiness' standards that you have to keep. And, there is a lot of prejudice toward Mormons, so you might run into difficulties with friends and family. As for BYU: BYU is THE UNIVERSITY that is run by the LDS Church. Many Returned Missionaries go there. It is a great educational opportunity, but very Church-oriented, with strict rules. Really, I think you need to do some research about the Church, and have a very serious talk with your SO about it. Mormons do not favor non-Mormons, and there can be a lot of conflict. And you WILL be pressured to not only convert, but to become a full, card-carrying Temple worthy Mormon.

In the end, this is a decision you will have to make for yourself AND with your SO. But I seriously suggest you do a little research and have some more serious communication with him, preferably on Skype, because text is really not the best medium for serious talks. And it might be a good idea to slow down a bit, and not rush into this. You are young enough that you have time on your side. You might even feel more comfortable staying home and doing your preliminary studies for your nursing program. Whatever you decide, I wish you much success and happiness.

[itsjen516]

I dk if it's his family but they do Not presure me at all ? His brother also married a non Mormon girl 12 years ago and they have never presured her at all to change what she belives in and my fiancé told me the same that he will never make me change unless I want to. Maybe some families are more strict then others but he says they are very open and when I met te family I was more the welcomed.
Tbh I feel more presure here lol then I have from him
And as for looking for places to go to school I'm gonna go to a trade school as a start. I already looked into that.
We have both looked Into places to live not just him. I have asked a lot of the questions I wanted to know even simple things such as "where can I see concerts here"

But I'm wondering why some of you said it's stressful that religion ? Like what makes it stressful
I know they are conservative , don't drink or smoke ( something I don't do anyways) I know they use both the bible and Book of Mormon. So what am I missing and I'm not trying to sound rude lol it's just I didn't view it as stressful when I went and thiught eveyone seemed really nice

And yes my family is fine with what I do since in my family we have every religion possible . And ya the church was differnt then mine but nothing that would be a big deal to me

[AussieAmericanGirl66]

I dk if it's his family but they do Not presure me at all ? His brother also married a non Mormon girl 12 years ago and they have never presured her at all to change what she belives in and my fiancé told me the same that he will never make me change unless I want to. Maybe some families are more strict then others but he says they are very open and when I met te family I was more the welcomed.
Tbh I feel more presure here lol then I have from him
And as for looking for places to go to school I'm gonna go to a trade school as a start. I already looked into that.
We have both looked Into places to live not just him. I have asked a lot of the questions I wanted to know even simple things such as "where can I see concerts here"

But I'm wondering why some of you said it's stressful that religion ? Like what makes it stressful
I know they are conservative , don't drink or smoke ( something I don't do anyways) I know they use both the bible and Book of Mormon. So what am I missing and I'm not trying to sound rude lol it's just I didn't view it as stressful when I went and thiught eveyone seemed really nice

And yes my family is fine with what I do since in my family we have every religion possible . And ya the church was differnt then mine but nothing that would be a big deal to me

You should be fine then, but if you don't mind, I would like to speak to you more about this in a PM, as I don't want to start a religious debate here.

[itsjen516]

Pm me...

[TwoThree]

But I'm wondering why some of you said it's stressful that religion ? Like what makes it stressful
I know they are conservative , don't drink or smoke ( something I don't do anyways) I know they use both the bible and Book of Mormon.

Do you drink coffee, soda or any caffeine-based drinks? Cause Mormons don't do that either.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Do you drink coffee, soda or any caffeine-based drinks? Cause Mormons don't do that either.

Not to mention that you will probably be pressured to have many children, and soon.

[talim]

Agree with what everyone said. Don't worry too much, just try to look at it as an adventure and new life oportunity, be excited rather than scared!
And with the research... I personally also closed the distance quite early in our relationship, and I also didn't do much research - I was thinking, omg, I'm going to move to capital of our country, of course I know something about our capital! But I soon found out that finding at least things necessary for life, like doctors, is really important, because what will you do when there will be some emergency situation and your SO won't be around? I didn't find a gynecologist in this area before I moved here, so I had to ask his mother and it was sooooo embarassing