Originally posted by ldrxoxo
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Originally posted by nottheprincesspeach View Post80anthea does not thrive off aggravating people. She just says things how she sees them and does what she can to help. I've probably read the same things and find her to be a tell it like it is kind of person. I appreciate this and wouldn't want it to change. She wasn't calling you mental. And if you'd really read around you'd see that 80anthea is just trying to help because she and I both have struggled with mental health issues in the past/present.
I don't think a true narcissist would still donate to charities when she can barely pay for her own food and rent. When you're not appreciated by people when you go out of your way to do things for them and you can barely take care of yourself, that does take a toll on me.
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I have tried to give you helpful advice and suggestions repeatedly and you knock them down. I grew up in a small town too. Make do with what you have or get out. You are young find a job in another town and move. Take an online class. I am hearing quite of bit of rationalizations and a bit of a pity party. This is 2014, if you don't like something in your life, fix it or you can end up with the same excuses and rationalizations alone in a nursing home at the age of 80 with no visitors coming to see you.
You need to take a look at what you do have that is good and build from there and stop looking at what you don't have. Try to pay forward a bit. Go volunteer at your local shelter or offer to help find the homeless or visiting some of those old folks that get any visitors I mentioned earlier. Be grateful you are not starving on the street or jobless like so many others and just breath. Be nice and happy and friendly and people will gravitate to you more. People do not gravitate towards negativity, they avoid it. If you need to work on your people skills then, no joke take a part time job at a McDonald's or Dunkin Donuts. I learned some of my best suggestive selling techniques from working there as a teen and quite frankly my present day people skills. I am quite and an extrovert and I can enjoy talking to anyone about almost anything I learned that by working with people. Instead of hanging out a the local bars or gym, if you don't want, then work there for a bit. Go offer to read stories to little kids in the local school or churches. Live your life and enjoy it. Life is what you make it.
Pick yourself up and brush yourself off and fight another day. If you don't like the way your life is now, then change your routines and your habits to create a new life. You have another possible 60 years to do it, so no time like the present to start.
And if you ask for advice, then take it or don't but stop arguing with those that offer it. If you don't like their advice, ignore it. I am truly trying to help you.Last edited by Hollandia; March 19, 2014, 10:37 AM.
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When I can't afford a therapist, writing has been very therapeutic and has helped me get over some other things. That's why I do write a lot when I do because it does sometimes calm me down when I can type out everything that's happened and I've looked how far I've come from to get to where I am today and it does help me create new ideas. I don't just write blog rants anymore complaining about things anymore. I always turn situations into a little story as if it were a real book. I sometimes keep it nonfiction or give it a fictional ending depending on what I think would be a good ending for a situation.
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Originally posted by ldrxoxo View PostI'm far from a narcissist and yes you are way off the mark.
You cannot even contain your showdowns with posters who tick you off in the threads or blog posts where these clashes originated, you need to make a new blog post for everything you have to say because you need to dominate the blog list, you need everyone to see your crusaides and to get involved. You need to make this forum revolve around you.
I won't pretend I'm a psychiatrist but it's obvious even to a layman you have a problem with self-image and self-worth. Mental health problems are something a lot of people struggle with, including posters on this forums, and you could get a lot of sympathy and support here. It really doesn't make a difference to me personally whether you'll take it seriously or not. But you posed a question in this thread and this is the answer, whether you like it or not.
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Please do not try to mentally label others. That is not helpful. Listen, you seem to have gotten into a pattern where you easily give all early on and also expect closeness from early on. It would make more sense to withold some of those helping skills and also choose someone who is more like yourself. I think what people are trying to tell you, is take responsability for your role in this and also, don't expect new people to be your best friends right away. Sometimes it is nice to just hang, no strings, too.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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Some people are right. I'll just ignore the ones who come off in a way that I don't like as if they were disrespecting me. It's not worth the energy and I don't need any more negativity in my life than I already have. I will ignore those now that aren't helpful to me instead of responding but for those that have been helpful I do appreciate your thoughts.
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Like I said, I don't know you, I'm offering advice purely based on your posts which is a dangerous thing to do. Either you're not like you portray yourself on here at all, making this some kind of sick game OR you are like you post on here which is worrying.
I offer this advice from someone who has been there, taking the medication and gone through the therapy. In a very sad way you remind me of how I have been in the past when I've unwell. However, I am going to listen to my head this time, only YOU can decide if you want to change the way things are; maybe you're not ready to make that change yet so I'm going to leave it alone.
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I would also suggest an additional outlet of contacting other writers that feels as you do about your writing being therapeutic. There should be tons of places that won't limit your ability to put your stories online and garner more feedback, but please take heed about not getting upset when people give you bad feedback about it. Ask any actor, writer or singer at some point or another you just have to take your lumps if you ever want to get to the other side.
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I read all your blogs. I read this whole thread, from start to finish. While I agree with others, that you might sound rude towards people, I can see why you behave the way you do. You have been hurt and disappointed and brokenhearted too many times. It leaves scars. I know it, I was there myself. I was also hurt and left alone and even after looong time I was kicking around for the smallest things, just not to let anyone to hurt me again. I know how hard it is to trust people after all this, but you should try. You talked about some friends of yours, about your roommates, what about hanging out with them sometimes? They could introduce you to other people ... Maybe you could even open to them little bit, so some of your loneliness and sadness and bitterness goes away. Go out with your dog, I find it myself a great way how to meet nice people. And you know what? Cry! Cry out everything bad ever happened to you, then dry your tears, take a deep breath and start to live a better and fulfilling life. Good luck with everything
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It is quite common to become focused on you when you feel alone and insecure. Even if your self -image is that of a forever caring and helpful person, you will focus on you until you is healed. The hallmark of fruitful human interaction is to be able to balance different ways of being. When will it work best to be humble? When is a self -assured approach better? When to give and when to take, and hopefully do a lot of both. You seem aware that you have mental challenges, since you pay for a therapist when you can afford it. The problem seem to be you don't really see yourself as an agent in your own life. Until you do, you will loose out and problems are likely to repeat themselves.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits
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