Do you and your SO talk about marriage?

[amartnotkmart]

we talk about it. we (well mostly i) have planned it in my head, like the ideal or whatever. i have a dress picked out and everything! XD (i just hope its still in stock when it comes time!) it'll happen someday, but not until after we both graduate college.

[greensweatergirl]

Yes! At the moment I'm planning to join him permanently in the UK (if everything pans out, I'll never have to live in Canada again, hooray!) in late January/early February, and as my visa would expire after two years, we'd have to get married in that time in order to stay together. It was really important to me that he know that I would never move across the Atlantic for anyone who saw anything less than a life together with me, and to me that means marriage.

I could care less about a wedding though - if we had a potluck dinner with immediate family and friends with Beatles music playing in the background the whole time I'd be thrilled. He's actually got more ideas for a wedding than I do - ideas for suits, cakes, honeymoon places....he told me the other day he'd written his wedding speech. O.o. I'm more excited to go to garden parties with him after we're married and have him introduce me as his wife, knowing I'm the luckiest woman in the place and that I'm the one who gets to go home with him at the end of the night.

[LilyChiba]

We have been talking about marriage a lot since that's how we will be using to get to be with each other. But the wedding and what's going on in it is something we've been discussing more and more as our time to meet comes closer. And been talking to our friends on the matter too, as to regarding our families and what they would see. Like how I know his mum is probably going to have an issue with me not wanting to be married in a Church. I'm not religious and I think it's tacky for me. Happy if others do so in one. But I've always wanted to get married in a garden. So yeah, marriage and children are on our minds constantly.

[FadedSunrise]

Maybe once or twice, and not seriously at all. More of a passing mention. He said he would be absolutely sure of wanting to marry me at some future point if I grew up and stayed in China (instead of moved to America). As things are, he said that he doesn't wish for us to break up, but doesn't mean anything more about marriage. It would be hard, because his field of work is not very easily transferable to the US, and so it would take a long time and a large uprooting should he choose to do it.

I consider myself far too young and emotionally unstable/immature to be getting married. Romance and a long term relationship is not even really on my radar, because there are so many other things to do to secure my future job, degree, and such.

[Dziubka]

We do. Not all the time, but a lot.
We actually went to look at a venue and churches in April this year and we like to talk about how epic our party will be.
He wants my brother to be his witness (best man), but we're not so sure if my brother would like to do that. He's doesn't really like to be the center of attraction or even be remotely close to it. Especially in a different country with a language he doesn't so.
I'm rambling. Sorry, about that.

We discuss weddings, marriage and kids a lot.

[Kerry]

my bf and I talk about marriage. it's definitely going to happen. it's just a matter of when. I love the idea of one day he will be my husband. I'm sooo ready to be engaged! I can be engaged for a long time no problem!

[Lissy]

My SO and I talk about getting married one day. We're serious about it, but don't go into great depth, because we know it's a few years away. Since we're a same-sex couple, though, that makes things more complicated for us. We can't get married in either of the states we live in, so we'll have to jump through some hoops before being recognized as a married couple. I love her, and I want to have the full rights that any heterosexual married couple has. That adds to the importance, for me.

[efish1042]

Not really. We've talked about it casually, but more in reference to others. We've been together for almost 3 years, but we've had to do a lot of growing in our relationship and we still have a long way to go. I would love to talk to him about it, but I already know what he would say. It would be so far in the future anyway that he wouldn't even be able to think about it. Whereas I plan 5 or 10 years from now, he plans 5 or 10 months from now. I definitely don't want to get married before I'm 23 because that is when I lose military insurance from my dad, but I wouldn't mind being engaged and planning for a wedding. But like I said, we have a lot more growing to do with each other before we are ready for that. Not to mention education comes first for us and we need to focus on getting degrees before getting married.

[Jgui]

we havent talked about marriage yet and i feel it's still too early. I do feel he is "the one" for me, but we'll see where things take us in the future.

[dukes2011]

We have been together for a little over 3 years, so yes we have talked about marriage. Even so, education and establishing ourselves as individuals takes precedence. He's working now and I'm getting my master's so the earliest I can get a job is 2014. We don't want to get married until both of us have a job and we figure out where we want to establish ourselves as a couple. It's hard not to get ahead of ourselves with the idea of marriage, especially because 2014 seems like forever but that will make it all the sweeter when we can finally start our lives together :-)

[books]

Yes we do talk about marriage and actually started having those talks pretty early on in our relationship. I will say that with my ex of 7 years, I never went there with the marriage talk. He would bring it up and I would get freaked out and change the subject. With my SO it's different. I just see marriage with him and it feels right. I have to say I do get a little worried that he will not make an official proposal due to money, but this is something I would definitely like and am coming to realize as our relationship grows. So, I feel like now we're just in agreement that we would definitely like to get married, but there has not been talk of the exact details as of yet.

[CynicalQuixotic]

We've mentioned marriage, but in a very lighthearted way--we often say things like "I love you, let's get married and cook lots of pasta and live together forever!" We did have a semi-serious discussion about whether we'd want to get married in a church or at the mairie (town hall), but, it's not something that either of us are thinking about currently in a serious way. We're both young (21 and 27) and perfectly content just being in a relationship for now, and in the grand scheme of things we haven't been together for that long--less than 6 months. It's something we'll have to consider in about two years when my student visa expires, if we're still together (which, of course, I very much hope we are). We'll see.

[floridaellen]

My SO and I have discussed marriage quite often. We're both religious and although we didn't do the abstinence thing, we still consider marriage to be very important. We plan to get married when I move back to Jersey so we can live together. It would really hurt both of our families if we lived together before being married and it's not worth the trouble. He's the only person I've ever loved and I think we're meant to be, especially after I had to go without him for a while and realized how much it completely sucks.

[Zapookie]

I remember at the beginning of this year before we were really serious about each other, we talked about the subject and he told me that he didn't really ever want to get married because it's just a piece of paper, and marriage doesn't hold the same meaning that it did 20 or 30 years ago. That actually really bummed me out when he said that because I had always seen myself being married and having a family, so much so that I questioned whether he was the right person for me, and whether I could deal with just a domestic partnership. I was hoping that I'd be able to change his mind.

I know that marriage in technicality is just a piece of paper and a change of name, but it's also symbolic of a commitment to stay loving and faithful for the rest of the married couples lives. It's a huge commitment, but if you love the person deeply and you're committed to loving them and only them forever, then why not make them your husband/wife? Of course not everyone gets married for the right reasons, but I didn't see how he could just assume he was never going to want that.

After our first meeting though, he said that he had changed his view on the matter. He always says now that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I don't see myself as being made to walk on this earth without him. We talked about it in passing when we were trying to figure out what visa would be best for us, but then I realised that I don't think I want to get married right away. I still want to have our time together without that title, and I want us to figure out whether we'll be able to deal with each other on a day to day basis in the real sense of things. He lived with me for 3 months, but none of us had any commitments like work or other stress factors. I don't doubt us being able to work it out but I would like to test run first for at least 6 months-1 year.

[Sora1101]

Eh we've discussed it briefly and he even asked as an unofficial proposal but other than that the only time it ever comes up is if I'm starting to doubt his resolve because of my own insecurities and then he reminds me that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that was why he asked in the first place, because he knows he wants me, end of story.