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Do you and your SO talk about marriage?

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    #31
    He brought it up after a month, on a surprise night out I had planned for his first time in Sydney (parkview room at The Marriot, three course dinner in the hotel restaurant, tickets to a show at the Opera House, followed by reservations at The Ivy). I had joked, when our cab dropped us at the Opera House and his jaw fell open in disbelief, "Don't worry, I'm not planning to propose!" We were sitting in the spa in our room, after getting back from the night's activities, and I caught him looking at me, and I asked him what was up, and he said, "I actually thought about proposing to you, tonight, but that would have seemed cheap, riding the coattails of the romantic evening you planned and paid for." When I laughed, and blew him a kiss, he said, quietly, "What would you say if I did?" I smiled, and replied, "I'd be very tempted to say yes, but that'd be crazy, so I'd tell you to ask me again in a year."
    For context, I'm 27, he's 30, and we're both very grounded people, with rich individual romantic histories, and a mutual state of not even wanting a relationship any time soon before we met each other.
    He said, "I know it's you. I don't know how I can already know, but I do. It scares me that I do, but I know." and I responded, "I feel the same. I know, and I know I shouldn't so soon. It's madness, but I'm quite certain."
    I leaned across and gave him a kiss, and smiled and said, "But it would still be crazy, this early. Ask me in a year."
    And he said, "Count on it," and kissed my hand. ^_^

    Of course, now that he's back in the military for four years, I doubt that question is likely to come up again quite so soon. Still I believe that this is it, and that if we can make it through this LDR madness intact and strong, then he'll be the last man I'll ever kiss. That said, we won't talk about it again until it's a near-future destination, because he knows my thoughts on overtalking longterm plans any length of time before one actually intends to put them into action - I think it's bad luck. With the situation having changed so much, there's a lot of "ifs" in the near future.
    So, we'll just see how we go.

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      #32
      No we never really talk about marriage

      But at one point he once told me about how he want OUR kids go to the best school and told me about how many kids he want from me i think we both still not ready to talk about it yet... deeply and in details.. me my self i am afraid of making plans as sweet and beautiful as that.. not meant to be pessimistic... i love to have family with him...

      But its just.. not the time to talk about it yet

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        #33
        we do talk about it. I mean, it is ambiguous but we do talk about it in the "what if" sense. Im 22. I have a while until that needs to happen or be discussed other than in the realm of possibility.
        Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

        I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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          #34
          We don't really talk about marriage specifically, but he always says "I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you and i have every intention on making that happen". Plus, with us closing the distince in almost a week (AHHH CANT WAIT), it's deffinitly something I think will come up. also, three of our friends always joke around and say "you met at our hous, your first kid gets our names" so if if were up to them our first child(LOOONNGGG TIME AWAY, assuming it happens) is to be names Jason Cody Nash after the three of them (jason, cody, and nash) and my SO and i just laugh and are like lol ok. so thats as far as our discussions of the future go

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            #35
            Marriage does come up in conversation from time to time; we'll discuss our respective views on topics which pertain to it, but often in a generic, third person sort of way. I don't know why we're so coy about the whole thing, to be honest. It isn't as if we haven't admitted before that we'd like to apply the subject to ourselves

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              #36
              as for my and my SO there are more hints like his parents and family are calling me daughter-in-law..
              once we were in a shopping mall and walked by a jewelery shop and he started smiling and said that he is sure his mum is gonna ask him if looked for some rings.. we haven't talked about it yet, cause we were just 2 months CD before I left.. but I hope that this summer we will progress and maybe talj about closing the distance

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                #37
                We talk about it occasionally. I wouldn't be surprised if we get married in the next 3 years (I am 21, she is 17), given that we have family who married early.

                But realistically, it is years off.

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                  #38
                  My boyfriend and I talk about it occasionally. It doesn't really bother me because I can honestly picture myself having such a great future with him.

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                    #39
                    I would be scared if he brought it up. Probably get a bit distant. It's not something I think long and hard about it's just something I want in my future... like 5 years from now.

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                      #40
                      Originally posted by lala View Post
                      as for my and my SO there are more hints like his parents and family are calling me daughter-in-law..
                      once we were in a shopping mall and walked by a jewelery shop and he started smiling and said that he is sure his mum is gonna ask him if looked for some rings.. we haven't talked about it yet, cause we were just 2 months CD before I left.. but I hope that this summer we will progress and maybe talj about closing the distance
                      Yay \o/

                      Kinda the same over here, his family allready adopted me as daughter, so really, he doesn't have a choice

                      No but really, we talk about it, we talk in:"When you become my wife", "You can tell them about your fiance" etc..

                      At first it scared me! In Utah everyone is married at 23 and have the second baby on the way (no offence).. I'm more of a.. 'maybe when I'm in my 30's' girl..

                      But if there is someone I want to marry it's definitely my SO!!
                      \\ Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything //
                      \\ happens for a reason //

                      \\ We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing //

                      \\ When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” //
                      \\They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life!! //

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                        #41
                        Originally posted by Manoek View Post
                        Yay \o/

                        Kinda the same over here, his family allready adopted me as daughter, so really, he doesn't have a choice

                        No but really, we talk about it, we talk in:"When you become my wife", "You can tell them about your fiance" etc..

                        At first it scared me! In Utah everyone is married at 23 and have the second baby on the way (no offence).. I'm more of a.. 'maybe when I'm in my 30's' girl..

                        But if there is someone I want to marry it's definitely my SO!!
                        I know how you feel. My girls sister always asks when we are getting engaged and married etc. Plus she wants to live next door so we can babysit her kids all the time

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                          #42
                          Yup we do, often.

                          When he was home last he got me a promise ring. I thought it was sweet cause of our age lol I told him it wasn't needed but he insisted cause of the distance. He wanted me to know he was serious and wasn't going anywhere. It's nice because when I look at it I think of him. He is very good to me, it's taken some getting use to. First LD relationship I have had where we communicate properly in every aspect of our life. It's like he is here sometimes even though he is 5000 miles away. I involve him in anything I can, like redoing the kitchen. I take pics and send them to him so he knows what it looks like and is involved like he would be if he were home. It helps too.

                          We have discussed marriage and kids many times. He would like to get married sooner than later, where I say wait lol. I want to get married but I will not rush into something. I have been burned one too many times and I just want to be careful and not do something in the heat of the moment. We will get married in 2013 like planned at the earliest. He would like to do it when he comes home next month lol but i said no. He has asked about rings and everything lol. He wants to make sure he gets what I like. I told him it's the gesture that counts not the ring. He is a sweet heart and even when we were friends he was, so it's nice to see that is really how he is.

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                            #43
                            Oh yah . lol I'm one of those girls who have dreamed of getting married since I can remember. I am by no means a bridezilla in making, however XD. I've just thought of the type of guy I'd love to marry, where, how old, what kind of colors I'd like to see, etc. My SO always believed that the 2 year mark was a good time to comfortably start talking about things like that, so we've only actually had conversations about it for a bit under a year now, even though we've been dating for almost 3 XD

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                              #44
                              Yes we talk about it, basically just like 'when we get married blah blah blah' neither of us think anything of it ... it just seems like the natural progression of our relationship.

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                                #45
                                Originally posted by Sierra View Post
                                Yes we talk about it, basically just like 'when we get married blah blah blah' neither of us think anything of it ... it just seems like the natural progression of our relationship.
                                This. We haven't really had any serious discussions but we both acknowledge that is our likely future.


                                Finding myself.

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