Facebook relationship status (public or private?)

[Kiara]

I read a couple of posts about Facebook today, so I thought about a new about about relationship STATUS. I'm talking about the information on the top which says "in a relationship with... engaged with.... married with..." Ok, you got it!

Both my SO and I have Facebook, but when our relationship started he told me he didn't want to put it on Facebook. At the beginning it was difficult to understand for me, and I had to ask him the reasons. He loves me, so I don't have to worry about the status change. It's just a matter of provacy and the quantity of information he wants to disclose...

I was wondering if there are other couples where one (or both) person doesn't want to show "in a relationship with..."
If if was a decision of your SO, how did you react?

[Sierra]

My boyfriend doesn't have Facebook so it just says "In A Relationship". I did ask his permission before I did it. I believe that it's set as public per my privacy information but I'm not sure and quite frankly it doesn't really matter to me.

[Trethsparr]

Our relationship status is public, and it has been throughout the different stages of our relationship. ("In a Relationship ---> Engaged ---> Married") He requested a bit of time before making it public so that he would have a chance to tell his family about me. I was eager, but that was a-ok with me.

It was a mutual decision, but, knowing what I know now, I might not have made our initial relationship change public as quickly as I did. It wouldn't have made our new relationship any less legitimate, of course, but I (at that point) didn't have a clue just how unbelievably nosy people at a small college can get. Well, you live and you learn.

EDIT: Heck, in retrospect, I understand why some people NEVER make it public on Facebook until after they're married.

[megfashion]

he didnt accept the "relationship request" for a long time... until he sat down on my computer, logged himself in, and i questioned him on it... he noticed i was getting upset so he fiiinally accepted it after like 3 odd months hehe.

to this day i still dont know why we werent that public at the start (i wanted to shout to everyone that he was mine haha)... i guess we are just really really slow as a couple in relationship development *shrugs*

[Kerry]

my bf didn't want to put it on fb either right away. he wanted to tell his kids about me first and after he did he changed his status. I hope that after we get engaged that we don't have to wait that long again! I want it all over so everyone knows!

[Brieasaurus]

My best friend said it best when she said to me "I hate half of the people I'm friends with on facebook, why would I give them the chance to talk about my relationship?". It does stir up a lot of drama sometimes, especially with break ups. I've seen more than one girl extremely upset by rude comments left after breaking up with her boyfriend.

Personally though, me and my SO are not facebook offical. That's only because our age difference though, and after my birthday we're changing it. However, when we first started dating I got super upset because he didn't want to become facebook official, so I can see how someone would be upset too. It's like come on, I want to show off to everyone how good looking my SO is! Haha. Plus, a lot of people don't understand LDRs. Random people question how "real" my relationship is and to be honest, it hurts so I don't want to deal with it anymore than I have to. At the end of the day though, the people that really matter know about us and I know what we are so it's all good to me.

[Trethsparr]

My best friend said it best when she said to me "I hate half of the people I'm friends with on facebook, why would I give them the chance to talk about my relationship?"

^This x 10000000000

I don't necessarily "hate" my FB friends; I just wish I hadn't filled them in on my own personal business at the beginning.

[NaNi]

Our relationship status is public - well, not public "public". Only the people on our friend's lists can see it. But it wasn't always like that. My SO didn't want to put our relationship status on Facebook at first. She was worried what people might think once they find out that she's dating a woman. It didn't bother me too much, but I always told her to just be herself. People who make negative comments are no real friends anyway. She got over it, though.

[kiara_silver]

He didn't want to have it at first. I asked him and he said he though that was silly or something. So i didn't bug again, and then after some time (this was after he came to visit, and he was back home) he sent me the request lol which totally made my day, i just find it sweet like a announcement to family and friends. It just made me feel special like he doesn't care who knows anymore. So we both have the "in a relationship with" status.

[nicole]

I changed mine to "in a relationship"a few months into or relationship, then I let him link his account to mine if he wanted too. Being the cute british girl in American College... I just wanted to reenforce some boundaries with some of the guys in my classes, but I didn't want to push him into putting on facebook if he didn't want to. I am glad he did soon after he saw I'd changed my status; it made the ex who was trying to break us up delete him and cut contact

Some people I see change from "in a relationship", to "single", to "it's complicated" so many times... it makes me cringe. I also have a hatred of people who air out their crap on facebook too because I think it's pretty much doing the same thing: begging for attention.

[rubydissolution]

Ours is public and has been since we decided to date. I don't particularly care what people have to say about it...lol.

[Trethsparr]

Some people I see change from "in a relationship", to "single", to "it's complicated" so many times... it makes me cringe. I also have a hatred of people who air out their crap on facebook too because I think it's pretty much doing the same thing: begging for attention.

^This. Yep, I know some serial status-changers as well.

[Yaaamiii]

I was addicted to facebook at the time when we first started dating, so when we were official, I think I made it facebook official right away. My boyfriend didn't have a problem with it either, I don't think. I don't really care to be honest, but I can see why others would not want to make it public on facebook. :P

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I didn't get Facebook until last September, which was about 2 weeks after we began dating. I immediately wanted to link my profile to his via the "In a relationship with...", we both wanted to. I'd looked back at his profile and he changed his relationship status to "In a relationship" the DAY he asked me out! We both wanted to make it Facebook Official as soon as possible.

[Dziubka]

I made my boyfriend get facebook, so I could list as in a relationship with him
It's public as in public for everyone on my friends list. I like seeing that when I view my profile and I like to show him off. Plus we already have so many pictures together, even if I hadn't listed him in a relationship, people would still figure out he was my boyfriend.

I guess I can understand people wanting to keep private things private, but if I wouldn't want someone to know about my relationship status and who my boyfriend was, I simply wouldn't add/accept them on facebook.