I was going to post this anonymously but decided against it, I mean, what the hell, right?
I'm frustrated, and I'm tired of being let down by my boyfriend. It should be nothing but the "I can't wait to text you later" and then the texts that never come add up. The "I'm so excited to spend the night with you tonight" and then 30 minutes later heading out the door to hang out with friends ... it adds up.
I feel like I've had to put up some kind of wall to protect me. I told him, I'm not going to text him anymore when he's out if he's never going to respond, it makes me feel bad. I'm not going to stay up late to wait for him to come home if he's just going to leave anymore ... we ended our committed edate nights and we still do them, which I'm thankful for, but more and more I just feel ... out of control.
I don't know what to do. I feel badly because he said to me tonight: "I still plan on saying good night tonight" and I literally said "I really need you to not say those things to me anymore."
As things ramp up for me getting ready to move, working more to save money for the move I think he'll see a little more where I'm coming from and how I need him to make an effort. He doesn't realize the little things add up over time and I can only take so much and hear so many excuses. I don't expect him to commit every minute of every day with me or to be a slave to his phone, I just expect him to be true to his word. He does always ask me "blah blah blah wants to hang out but I'm here with you" and I tell him to go hang out. I feel like he guilt trips me into not being able to stand up for the time that I need from him from our relationship. I feel if I don't tell him to go, every time, even when I really need him, I'm a bad girlfriend. Is one night a week too much for him to give me?
I need him to show me that without me micromanaging our relationship, he'll put in the effort. I'm tired of feeling so controlling, I just want a partner. I know his heart is in the right place and he wants to be my partner, I know we want a future together ... hopefully I'm not making a huge mistake. I just feel like if I keep reaching out and trying, and get nothing in return, I'm going to get hurt to the point that I'm going to end the relationship. I shouldn't be the one holding us together, it has to come from him too.
I just needed to vent because honestly, I hate that I feel like I have to do this but I don't know what else to do. I have to protect myself too.
I'm frustrated, and I'm tired of being let down by my boyfriend. It should be nothing but the "I can't wait to text you later" and then the texts that never come add up. The "I'm so excited to spend the night with you tonight" and then 30 minutes later heading out the door to hang out with friends ... it adds up.
I feel like I've had to put up some kind of wall to protect me. I told him, I'm not going to text him anymore when he's out if he's never going to respond, it makes me feel bad. I'm not going to stay up late to wait for him to come home if he's just going to leave anymore ... we ended our committed edate nights and we still do them, which I'm thankful for, but more and more I just feel ... out of control.
I don't know what to do. I feel badly because he said to me tonight: "I still plan on saying good night tonight" and I literally said "I really need you to not say those things to me anymore."
As things ramp up for me getting ready to move, working more to save money for the move I think he'll see a little more where I'm coming from and how I need him to make an effort. He doesn't realize the little things add up over time and I can only take so much and hear so many excuses. I don't expect him to commit every minute of every day with me or to be a slave to his phone, I just expect him to be true to his word. He does always ask me "blah blah blah wants to hang out but I'm here with you" and I tell him to go hang out. I feel like he guilt trips me into not being able to stand up for the time that I need from him from our relationship. I feel if I don't tell him to go, every time, even when I really need him, I'm a bad girlfriend. Is one night a week too much for him to give me?
I need him to show me that without me micromanaging our relationship, he'll put in the effort. I'm tired of feeling so controlling, I just want a partner. I know his heart is in the right place and he wants to be my partner, I know we want a future together ... hopefully I'm not making a huge mistake. I just feel like if I keep reaching out and trying, and get nothing in return, I'm going to get hurt to the point that I'm going to end the relationship. I shouldn't be the one holding us together, it has to come from him too.
I just needed to vent because honestly, I hate that I feel like I have to do this but I don't know what else to do. I have to protect myself too.
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