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    #61
    I'm truly sorry it didn't work out, Nani and Rebecca. I know there's nothing I can say that will make Nani feel less shocked and hurt, or Rebecca less sad and guilty, so I won't try.
    Honestly, when people, however well-meaning, offer platitudes in the face of heartbreak, I just want to kick them in the shins.
    Girls, I am so very, very sorry. I hope it gets better for both of you soon. Rebecca, I hope you have as good a support network as Nani does.

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      #62
      I don't think anyone said anything bad about Rebecca. Just so you guys know. I simply agree with garnet that Rebecca could have and should have done it differently. If she had talked to me about it... I could have done things. No, that's not called "changing minds", but "fighting for your relationship". I could have visited, be more attentive. People keep telling me that Rebecca did love me or maybe even still does, but I just don't see it. She didn't talk to me, she didn't fight for me. I was never expecting this from her. I thought she was different. I thought we had something really special. We were each other's first too. I don't think she cares about any of that, though. I'm just so disappointed. I was so excited for our future togeher, but now I have nothing left. Nothing. New Zealand was my dream country to live in, but now I don't have any reason to move over there anymore. Absolutely everything was taken from me. Rebecca just continues on.

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        #63
        Oh this is just awful!!! I know this is hard and painful for you both.

        My thoughts are with you two

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          #64
          No...I never expected to read something like this from you Im thinking of you, BE STRONG!! You will go through all this! xxx

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            #65
            Sorry to hear, and I know there is nothing that can be said to "make it better", but sometimes when a person ends a relationship out of the blue it is because there was no desire to fight for it! I know when I left my husband that there was nothing he could do to win me back. I know this probably doesn't help with the pain, but maybe a little with the whole "shock"of it. I am not sure on her feelings towards you, but I can safely speak from my own experience with break ups that I had not been in love with my ex for quite sometime before I left. It's hard to explain, but I knew our relationship was dead, and there was nothing that could be done to revive it. Again I am sorry if this struck a nerve or anything I was just trying to give a little insight as to why this might have happened. Take care break ups are never easy for both persons involved, as I know leaving my ex was one of the hardest and most heartbreaking things I have ever done. No thoughtful human being likes to cause a person such tremendous pain!

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              #66
              I think that there're things which we could do to make this relationship work, though. I know it. But she won't give us that chance. She was probably scared of the future and our different views, but the thing is... we could have slowed down. I didn't want to get engaged any time soon (if at all). But she never seriously talked to me about this, so I had no idea. I think the main reason might have been our arguments after the last visit. We were really different, but as I said many times: I was working on myself. I wanted to surprise her with happy Skype talks full of mushiness and love. But she broke it off before I had a chance to give her all this. Call me old fashioned, but I would have never broken up with her. No matter how many hard times we had. She should have thought she same way as her parents went through an incredibly rough time, but they survived it. You can survive anything.

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                #67
                I was also a victim of a sudden out of the blue break up. It took me YEARS to get over him.

                This won't be an easy road to recovery for either of you. And if reading this thread makes me feel so sad and hurt, I can't imagine what you two are going through.

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                  #68
                  oh my, I'm so sorry I know how painful it is, but you just got to keep going and keep living and stay strong. But remember that it is good to grieve as well. I will be thinking of you. *Hugs*

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                    #69
                    Well, I'm done running after her. I did everything I could to save this relationship, but she doesn't want to be with me anymore. I don't know what went wrong, but it's breaking my heart. She's the one who should be begging me for a second chance, but she's not. She's okay with her decision. Ouch. She was my first love. She was my life. She was my everything. How can she throw everything away? Everything that we shared? We were so happy. We had so much fun. Especially in person. We just... clicked. Emotionally and physically. It's so hard to find someone like that, but she doesn't want us anymore. I'm a complete mess and I don't think this will change for a very long time. Farewell, LFAD. I would love to stay, but it's too painful. A lot of nice people added me on Facebook already, so if you want to keep in touch: https://www.facebook.com/nani7788.

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                      #70
                      *hugs* I'm so sorry and I wish you would stay here, but I understand that this is too painful for you. I hope in time, you can heal.

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                        #71
                        I hope time heals your heart NaNi.
                        I think we all understand why being here would be hard.

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                          #72
                          WHAT!!!??? I am so sorry! I am so shocked. I feel like anything i say is cliche. But we are here if you need us. HUG!!!
                          Got together Jan 3, 2011~ Closed the Distance March 23, 2012~ Living Together Since June 19 2012~ Future TBD......

                          I miss you more than I ever could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." ~ Vita Sackville-west

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                            #73
                            I am still relatively new to the board and I don't really post a lot of replies so it is a bit strange to comment on such a personal matter. Yet I just wanted to tell you I am really sorry for your pain. Here on the board your posts have always struck me as very kind. I truly hope you'll be able to heal with time and preserve your kindness! I wish you all the best!

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                              #74
                              Awwwh, I'm so sorry to hear that!

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                                #75
                                Hi NaNi. I don't know if you'll read this post or if you are not going to check LFAD anymore. We didn't really had the chance to know each other in this forum, but you were always here, and somehow I was able to follow your relationship, share your emotions, like your story. As all the people here, it's extremely sad to read about this break up and we all wish you to feel better now and accept her decision, even if no warnings were given to you. I understand how this story was important for you, and how it is hard now to think about it using the past tense. Remember that here you have a lot of friends who are ready to help you and support you in this recovery phase. Huge hugs!

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