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**Haley53** · January 1, 2012, 12:06 AM

In regards to question two, how long have you been in therapy, consecutively? Has it been with the same therapist or different therapists? When you say you've been on and off of medications twice, what medications were you on and for how long was each period that you were on these medications? Also, how old are you, if you don't mind saying? And what are some of your more problematic symptoms, as in, if you had to choose three, what are the top three symptoms/reasons you're concerned you might have BPD?

I'll be able to respond further when I have the answers to these questions. <3

**Sharon Q** · January 1, 2012, 12:26 AM

In regards to question two, how long have you been in therapy, consecutively? Has it been with the same therapist or different therapists? When you say you've been on and off of medications twice, what medications were you on and for how long was each period that you were on these medications? Also, how old are you, if you don't mind saying? And what are some of your more problematic symptoms, as in, if you had to choose three, what are the top three symptoms/reasons you're concerned you might have BPD?

I'll be able to respond further when I have the answers to these questions. <3

I Cant remember the first medications I was on but I was on them for about a year then went off for a year and was fine.
I was fine and then had a mental break and went into mental health, - Was there for a week.

I am now on Remeron and Celexa both anti-depressants, remeron helps me sleep tho. I have trouble sleeping when stressed and it got to the point where I couldnt sleep hardly at all so thats ment to help with that.

sympoms:

- Viewing things black and white, ( like no grey, someone is only good or bad )
- slight change of opinions of people ( generally based on how they act)
- When I get upset its VERY extreme like I wont stop crying no matter how hard I try and all logic just flys out the fucking window.
- anxiety
- normally anti social, I stick to very small crowds I usually have like five friends at a time.
- negative self-image

I did have PTSD but, with medication and stuff thats helped and its eased up, not to mention I now longer live in the same town so my paranoia has gone down a lot.

Oh and as for the counseling I've been in and out sense I was nine, I've only had two different ones and a psychiatist for medications

**Haley53** · January 1, 2012, 01:19 AM

Hrm, all right. The reason I was curious about the medication is down to the fact it's an incredibly time-consuming process. There are, unfortunately, a lot of doctors who will put you on a minimal dose for a month, raise it another 5-25mg for another, and then if you complain about it not having much of an effect after that second or third month, they'll try you on something new. Considering medication doesn't even begin to take full effect until the 6th to 8th week and considering they don't give you a treatable dose straight off the bat but rather wean you on to the medication, I've always given my medications until the treatable dose and then some. How long have you been on Celexa? How do you feel it has been working for you?

My worry about jumping immediately to a personality disorder is that depending on your age, it is such a severe diagnosis. Although most doctors won't even think about personality disorders until your early to mid-20s, I would argue that they should wait even beyond that, when there's scientific evidence that your brain doesn't even cease its development until you hit the ripe ages of 24/25. I also feel that it's really easy to meet the criteria you find online. When it comes to personality disorders (any disorders, really, but personality disorders, I feel, especially), there's a lot more criteria than a laundry list of symptoms. I have a DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) somewhere that would expand on the criteria but I'd have to go digging for it and by this point, it is incredibly outdated and may not be of help for anything today. But the thing is that a lot of people tend to misunderstand what certain symptoms even mean.

For example, "Viewing things black and white, ( like no grey, someone is only good or bad )." If I asked you to give me a list of what you like and don't like about your SO, would you be able to do so? Would you be able to tell me his positive traits and his negative traits? Or would you describe him, in this moment, of being either God or the Devil? When it comes to situations in which he triggers you into getting angry at him, so angry at him you hit him/turn to violence, are these temper tantrums random, or are they triggered? Does something he say or do trigger a nerve, or does he walk into the room and you all of a sudden seethe and bubble with hatred for him? How about your friends? Do you see them as Gods or the Devil? Have they ever been subject to your attitude, temper tantrums, and violent outbursts? The thing is that BPD is not something that's likely to go unidentified by your friends, family, and partner. It may not always be so apparent or extreme, especially to people who aren't going looking for it, but the signs of it are going to be there. And it's not going to be exclusive to your relationship with your SO. How are you at holding down a job? How long have you maintained your social relationships? Have you ever been sexually reckless? Have you ever been sexually impulsive and cheated on your SO? Have you ever used SH or suicide as a way of manipulating your partner into succumbing to your every whim and desire? How are you with money? When things are going well in your relationship, are you happy in it? It's questions such as these that delve deeper into your personal and interpersonal life which are going to help weed out what's matching a symptom and what's a product of a disorder. I would also argue that if you've been seeing the same therapists for so long, since you were nine-years-old, they would have recognised these behaviours and characteristics. So would your psychiatrist. They're trained eyes and supposed to catch things such as this.

I'm not discouraging you from being tested for it (though do remember that such records follow you around and can effect things such as insurance rates etc. in the future) or from bringing it up to your doctors, but I would also consider taking the pathway of bringing in a list of things that you want to change. A list of symptoms to work on treatments and on getting to the root cause of those symptoms as opposed to bringing them in as evidence of a disorder. I have always believed that you should analyse and work through every possible pathway before bringing up the possibility of a diagnosis, though I understand that a diagnosis is pretty much required to be put on medication, even tentative diagnoses. But what I mean by this is instead of going in and saying "I think I have BPD," which, as I said, you're entitled to do, why not instead say, "I'm showing some traits that I don't like that are effecting my relationship, and I would really like to work on changing them," and hand those in to your therapist. Your therapists should be willing to help you make progress on these areas/issues/etc. If they aren't, then it might be due time to invest in a new therapist.

Now, I want to note that I'm not discouraging you entirely. I'm one who tends not to jump to labels and diagnoses straight off the bat because I think environment and belief systems play a huge part in our reactions. I have had the possibility of Bipolar, Borderline, etc. thrown out at me and was actually misdiagnosed as having Bipolar II, which I insisted I did not have but they insisted I did. I have always been of the belief that every possible environmental cause should be broken down and sorted through. Though yes, stress can bring out the worser traits of mental disorders, I also think that stressors and triggers need to be eliminated before pinning yourself with a diagnosis. The only reason I am so vehemently against diagnosing someone without looking first at the environment and what about the environment could be changed to remove triggers etc. is because a lot of people have the tendency to get stuck. Once they've been diagnosed with Bipolar or depression, for example, that is what they became. They assume that the diagnosis means it's permanent and cannot be helped, fixed, or changed when even personality disorders like Borderline can be cured, however difficult it might be. A lot of it comes down to you wanting to change and to put in an active effort to change and in finding a therapist who can work intensively with you to work on whatever it is you might want to work through, whether it's Borderline or something completely unrelated to a disorder at all. I want to stress, again, that I'm not discouraging you, but I have seen so many people get helplessly trapped in their labels, including a friend of mine whose relationship was actually destroyed by it. I don't want to see it happen to you too, especially since there is no medicative cure for personality disorders.

One thing you might consider is DBT, which is commonly used to treat people with BPD, as opposed to the typical CBT most therapists are trained in. Hang in there.

**Haley53** · January 1, 2012, 01:29 AM

I want to add, I really don't want you to think I'm being a hard ass or that I'm discouraging you from seeking help. I'm not, and if you're concerned, then it might be something to bring up to your doctors. I actually encourage you to do so. I simply think it's important to have all of your facts straight and be thoroughly researched and have eliminated all other possible causes before accepting a diagnosis, because I do think our brains have the tendency to shape pathways around what we tell ourselves we are. No, I don't think all disorders are products of our own doing, but I think that disorders in general are such a slippery slope because there's so much advanced criteria that not even all the professionals think thoroughly through (not to mention it is constantly changing) and I think if we all looked deep enough into it, we'd all find some mental, personality, or mood disorder that we fit to a t. And what happens then is a sort of response bias; people start hearing only things that support their bias, i.e. their belief that they have the disorder, even if they've been misdiagnosed.

Because of that, my point was more I feel you should focus on the symptoms rather than on pinpointing yourself with a disorder, if that makes sense.

**Sharon Q** · January 1, 2012, 04:52 AM

Yeah I'm going to talk to my dr about it as soon as I can and have him do some tests or something.

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well two questions really?

well two questions really?

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