What do you tell them?

[Haley53]

Flame away, or whatever it is that was, but defending lying to customs just isn't right.

It makes it harder because people do get caught. And then they get nastier with the next person. They are freshly suspicious of whatever. It's so untrue that if everyone told the truth that there would be zero difference in border crossing.

I figured my post would piss off the people that don't see the need to tell the whole truth when facing this situation. I stand behind what I said.

I have to say that I agree. I have seen it a couple times standing in line and simply observing how an immigration officer's mood can change depending on who was there before you, and none of us like to deal with an added dose of attitude when the attitude is pretty prevailant, especially when they have more power than if you simply pissed off customer service. Though I would never argue there would be some massive, most positive change if no one ever lied - I still stand by that certain people choose certain occupations for reasons, and certain occupations have very similar personality traits amongst them - I also wouldn't say it wouldn't make any, and I agree with garnet in that sense.

This is on top of the fact I have never had an issue saying "my boyfriend." I have always had more of an issue with saying "my friend," because if you're going to visit someone, and they request the names and addresses of who you'll be staying with, and you're staying with someone who's male, transatlantic relationships are common enough that they're going to ask. I also have to agree with whomever said (on the previous page, too lazy to flip back) that they care more that you have a return ticket and intentions of returning to your home country. The one time I was heckled in London, I was asked about my ties, such as if I went to school, where, and what was I studying. I have found they also tend to pester you a bit more if you're staying for a longer time. Way I see it is being as honest as possible simply saves them their mood and saves the person after you their mood as well.

I simply wanted to agree with garnet. Though I can see it being necessary in some cases, maybe a slight fudging of the truth, I have honestly never heard of a case in which someone was turned away simply because they were going to visit their partner, and I think being caught lying oftentimes sours the process for everyone involved. But I still have never had issues with immigration, knock on wood; I always hand them my itinerary with my passport and that + letting them know where I'll be staying and that he's my boyfriend is generally enough.

[Malaga]

Fair enough garnet. You put the words in my mouth, which I didn't intend to say. I actually proposed telling the truth in my previous post, I just thought it was an exaggerated reaction to something that is fairly innocent. Say, people who come to visit each other for the first time, maybe they're not defined as boyfriend and girlfriend yet. It's hard to prove someone is lying when they call their SO their friend, it's a very subjective term. Even if they are involved - maybe they're friends with benefits, maybe they've an open relationship and whatnot. The immigration office is not my confessional so why go into details unless asked. People have their own reasons to say insignificant fibs or half-truths like that and it's in no way something to be condoned, but in the end, it's their responsibility and they suffer the biggest consequence. If they get caught, the person next in line may have some inconvenience but if they tell the truth it should be OK. If they don't get caught, no harm done.

When I went to visit my boyfriend for the first time, they asked me how did we meet and I said it was when he came on holidays to my country. It wasn't the complete truth but it was half of it. It's easy to sit on a high horse when you live in a first world country. Like it or not, it's your origin that mostly determines the attitude of the immigration officer when questioning you. They see the passport and it sets the tone. People often mistake my country for one of those countries where they get a lot of 'mail-order brides' from. Do you think I'd be better off with, we met on the internet and started an online romance? And would you expect me to say that even if it makes me look more dodgy, just so the officer doesn't get extra inquisitive with the next person in line? I wouldn't expect it of the person in front of me.

[garnet]

Okay let me be more clear. I am saying that my opinion is to tell the truth to border guards. I will also say that in my opinion, as well as a good majority on the Visa Journey website (I bring them into this, because I am truly not the only one that feels this way), there is no need to offer EXTRA information. You answer just the questions asked, nothing more, nothing less, but answer honestly.

I wouldn't expect you to say something for the person behind you, no. I would expect you to be honest because it's the law (at least here in the US, it is illegal to lie/fib to the guards). My father is going through these issues right now, he is a USC and his gf is from a country where there are definitely a large number of 'mail order brides' although that isn't what she was. They met online, and yes, they had some explaining to do. They were well prepared with documentation linking them home, and they were allowed to carry on with their visits. They knew it was a risk, but both did what they could to cover their bases, and with the exception of needing luck to not get a cranky guard, I think they did the right thing.
For people that haven't hit boyfriend/girlfriend status how about just saying so? I made a friend online, we decided to meet in person now and see how that goes. ??
I'm not going to go down a list of every possible answer I can think of, but I still see no reason to condone lying.

Yes the people who lie take the risk, and if they're caught, they deserve it - and yes, it does bother me that innocent honest folks are sometimes punished for the wrong doings of those before them.

I don't expect you to agree with me, Malaga. This is just my opinion. People aren't going to magically start telling the truth about this particular issue, because I want them to, but I am allowed to give my point of view, just like you.

[13000km]

Hmm it's not always black and white though, especially since it's harder for people from different countries to get in, even for short periods of time. If saying "I'm visiting friends and living with them" (I did, first time in his sister's house and now living with his mom) has less risk of landing me in a closed white room with immigration officials than saying "I'm visiting my boyfriend and living with his family members", I'm going to say the former. In that situation, am I lying? I did give their names when asked.

While I agree that buying a return ticket with no intention of returning at the time the ticket says is probably not the smart thing to do, I feel like if it's a short-ish visit, saying "I'm on holiday" is okay. Or if meeting for the first time, saying "I'm meeting a friend" is fine. Again, not sure if those are considered lies.

[ChibiFelicia]

I've just to add that i totally agree with garnet. I've been following the visajourney website too and i remember reading there somewhere that they document it and since in the future i want to move to the US i am not going to lie. I have to say though the first time i went to the US i literally gave that immigration officer our whole timeline lol. Turned out she met someone on an online game too and we literally hit it off. There wasnt much of a queue so we ended up chatting for like 15-20 mins lol.

In my opinion it's much better to just tell the truth but i understand if you're from a "mail order bride" country it can be difficult. My sister in law is from a mail order bride country (my families home country actually) and it was fairly annoying for my brother to get her into the UK but it worked out. Iunno what they did though, or said because i've never asked.

Just as garnet said dont give extra information and don't lie.

Its been said but always take proof of strong ties to your home country, school admission stuffs, mortgages, letter from employer or whatever.

[Oregongirl]

You should always tell the truth when going through immigration. They record down what you say, so when it comes time to apply for a visa, and you have lied, it's going to come back and bite you in the rear end. If you have a return ticket and money for your visit then you will more than likely not have any issues. When you lie about your reason for a visit you make it harder for everyone.

[littlethinktank]

Immigration always scares me! Although I've never had any problems it's my biggest nightmare that I arrive at the airport in the US but am denied entry haha
I always just tell them the truth that I am visiting m boyfriend. I find it's the safest best. If they chose to investigate me any further they'll learn the truth anyways. I normally bring several documents/ binding ties (rental contract, work contract, bank statement) with me just in case. I've never been asked to show them though *knock on wood*

[MadMolly]

When I went to Canada the guy was like "What's the purpose of your visit?" and I said "to have an adventure!" He laughed and asked me who I was staying with and where, I said "friends, in Vancouver and Edmonton" (because I was staying with a few people, not just my love interest, and I wasn't even calling him my boyfriend at the time!). He asked me what I did for a job and I said I worked in a library, he said what was it like? I said it was pretty boring or whatever and he says "But you're not planning to leave the job right?" and I go "Oh no way, I LOVE my job, it's not boring at all!" He laughed and said Welcome to Canada.

I guess I got a friendly guy but I joked around with him a bit which seemed to ease him up. Haha.

---------- Post added at 07:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:32 AM ----------

When I went to Canada the guy was like "What's the purpose of your visit?" and I said "to have an adventure!" He laughed and asked me who I was staying with and where, I said "friends, in Vancouver and Edmonton" (because I was staying with a few people, not just my love interest, and I wasn't even calling him my boyfriend at the time!). He asked me what I did for a job and I said I worked in a library, he said what was it like? I said it was pretty boring or whatever and he says "But you're not planning to leave the job right?" and I go "Oh no way, I LOVE my job, it's not boring at all!" He laughed and said Welcome to Canada.

I guess I got a friendly guy but I joked around with him a bit which seemed to ease him up. Haha.

[Xanahtas]

My SO seemed to get interigated each time! I dont think it helps because he is Indian and born in an arabian country. People seem to stereotype. First time round he was pulled out of the line by security and asked loads of questions, like where i lived, who i was, why he wanted to come here, where he was staying, how me and him met, if we had met before, the lot! Then the second time they luckily didnt ask him too much. Third time he seemed to get asked questions again but this time he had forgotten to get his return flight tickets from his dad! He literally talked himself through customs and only just got here! I think he must have used his cute face to get through it, made me laugh because as soon as he got off the bus he said "I have a funny story for you" and then he explained it to me, and he said to the person at the desk "Its christmas, ive come to see my fiance, please let me in, what would jesus do?!" Whilst looking them straight in the eyes! I laughed so much XD He always tells them tho that he is coming to see me and doesnt say friends. He's had a few problems with people asking a lot of questions tho :L

[Jazi]

OP here again,

it's been great to hear everyones experiences through border security. keep them coming

I also appreciate that everyone has their own opinions on telling the truth vs. 'fibbing' or 'lying' about the trip.. but that isn't really the purpose of this topic. It was more to gauge the experience of each person and what they've said going through customs (whether they lied or not) and for us all to maybe read these experiences of everyone else and decide what is the most comfortable thing to say going through customs for ourselves. Customs is a freaky thing for anyone but hearing other peoples stories seems to help and realise that we're not alone in it

seeing as i'm visiting my SO in 10 days i've been really worrying about going through customs again, i get nervous about it the whole flight.. I've been toying with the idea about being completely honest and the replies here have made me a little more confident that they won't just deny entry because i'm visiting my SO. If they ask me a few more questions.. well, at least I know that my story is 100% true and I won't be lying.

so if anyone else has some customs stories to share.. feel free to keep them coming

[squeeker]

I've visited my boyfriend two times, both times I stated the truth that I was visiting my boyfriend. Both times I was worried I'd say something that would get be denied entry.. Both times they asked me a few questions.. why and who was I visiting, the first time they asked how I met him and I said online, and they asked both times what he did and I always got most worried about this because he was unemployed...but I always have money, the second trip they also asked his name and also if i had a visa (credit card). um.. Yeah I just wanted to say I'm a big advocate for telling the truth at immigrations because I get nervous and wouldn't want to get caught in a lie..lol