Eeh Cheating...

[megfashion]

depends on the situation, like everyone else. id most likely stay with him, if i knew he was truly sorry and would never do it again.

i think the time i wouldnt allow him back into my life would be if it was sober, i found out from the girl or one of his mates, and he wasn't sorry and came up with all these excuses.

[lonelyinlove]

My ex had intentions on cheating on me but I caught him before he could do so. And I broke up with him. If my current SO cheated on me right now I would probably break up with him even thoughit would break my heart. I dont trust easy so once I do and they betray me I feel foolish. However I think that if we were married I think I would attempt to fix the reationship bc i really do believe in "for better or for worse." So if we tried to fixed the marriage and it didnt work then I would have to leave. I wont be unhappy for the sake of a marriage..

[Bethypoo]

Wouldn't stay. No matter the situation.

[rubydissolution]

Oh wow...I think it would depend on the status of the relationship. Right now, in an LDR...and whatever circumstances were involved around the cheating, I may give him another chance. I realize how difficult an LDR is, how much you want to be close to someone. I don't think I would be as forgiving in a CD relationship as in, I moved to be with him and he went out and cheated on me. That would be 100% unforgivable. I gave up my life, job, friends, family to be with you and you sleep around, yea no.

On another note, I feel like I'd be more likely to forgive a physical indiscretion then an emotional one. Cheating physically, like a drunken one night stand can be chalked up to a mistake. Emotional cheating, falling in love with someone else...that's a hurt on a whole other level. A more painful level. I think i read somewhere that women find emotional cheating more offensive then physical cheating and men are the opposite.

[kteire]

My SO knows that I'd leave him in a heartbeat if he cheated. It'd be devastating to do so, of course, but in my mind, it's completely unforgivable. I've been cheated on in the past, and it made me feel worthless. Someone who loves and respects me should never do that to me, and if he cheated it would be a sign that something was going very wrong in our relationship. My SO doesn't even so much as check out other girls when I'm around, and even before we were actually exclusive, he was turning girls down because he knew it would hurt me, and he loved me. So for him to go from that to any sort of physical or emotional cheating would break my heart... and that would mean he wasn't who I thought he was.

[Leigh]

My SO would never cheat on me. It would destroy the trust I have for him. It would only be a matter of time before I left because of the trust issue because I can't be with someone who I can't trust.

[tomski]

So I have just been told by my partner of almost 5 years, that she cheated on me. We have been apart for about 7months, due to the fact that our plan was to emigrate to the other side of the world, I went out by myself, she stayed behind to help her mum get a property, etc.
She arrived 2 days ago, I have had an bad feeling all the time and took a look at her mobile, didn't read the message just noticed from who it was. Next morning I looked at her phone, she didn't delete the message she sent him when she was standing right in front of me at the airport waiting for a bus...

I had a feeling in my gut ages ago, and it actually happened when I suspected it.

We have some fundamental issues in our relationship, but I was ready to work through them. She has been an abuse victim for 8 years since she was 4 and I think I was treating her like damaged goods, gentle and all, careful not to hurt her...

She said she is sorry for hurting me, never meant to, "it just happened", with a guy who she knew for 16 years, a bit of wine and things went on, one thing led to another. She said she would never do it again, what is it like a "been there, done that" f&%king thing? a scout badge? just happened? WTF? I am so angry inside, but bizarrely enough I am have no exploded, maybe I won't or maybe it didn't hit me yet... who knows...
Someone who told me that she had been cheated on before and it would be a deal breaker for her if that happened to her... I thought the same... but I haven't kicked her out, I haven't thrown here things out and locked the door behind.

It hurts, too much... and complete loss of trust... It hurts too much... Slept about 3hr...

She doesn't seem to want to move a finger, she believes she is what she is and that's it, so I need to sort out my issues if I want to be with her, she has done work on herself enough apparently...

So where do I go from here? I feel alone, really alone. At this very moment, I don't think I can make it...

I just wanted to let some stuff out, I am mentally exhausted, 7months of work on myself and now the final blow, fatal kill, perfect shot, right through the heart into the spine, right through... where do I go from here?

[kikidee]

What are the chances that you would stay with your SO if he/she had cheated?

No chance

[TriniCherryPrincess]

So I have just been told by my partner of almost 5 years, that she cheated on me. We have been apart for about 7months, due to the fact that our plan was to emigrate to the other side of the world, I went out by myself, she stayed behind to help her mum get a property, etc.
She arrived 2 days ago, I have had an bad feeling all the time and took a look at her mobile, didn't read the message just noticed from who it was. Next morning I looked at her phone, she didn't delete the message she sent him when she was standing right in front of me at the airport waiting for a bus...

I had a feeling in my gut ages ago, and it actually happened when I suspected it.

We have some fundamental issues in our relationship, but I was ready to work through them. She has been an abuse victim for 8 years since she was 4 and I think I was treating her like damaged goods, gentle and all, careful not to hurt her...

She said she is sorry for hurting me, never meant to, "it just happened", with a guy who she knew for 16 years, a bit of wine and things went on, one thing led to another. She said she would never do it again, what is it like a "been there, done that" f&%king thing? a scout badge? just happened? WTF? I am so angry inside, but bizarrely enough I am have no exploded, maybe I won't or maybe it didn't hit me yet... who knows...
Someone who told me that she had been cheated on before and it would be a deal breaker for her if that happened to her... I thought the same... but I haven't kicked her out, I haven't thrown here things out and locked the door behind.

It hurts, too much... and complete loss of trust... It hurts too much... Slept about 3hr...

She doesn't seem to want to move a finger, she believes she is what she is and that's it, so I need to sort out my issues if I want to be with her, she has done work on herself enough apparently...

So where do I go from here? I feel alone, really alone. At this very moment, I don't think I can make it...

I just wanted to let some stuff out, I am mentally exhausted, 7months of work on myself and now the final blow, fatal kill, perfect shot, right through the heart into the spine, right through... where do I go from here?

Being cheated on is never a good feeling but after nearly 5 years I'm sure it's a whole different level of pain. I'm sorry that happened to you. Sorry that I have no advice and hope that some show of support is enough.

[Malaga]

I just wanted to let some stuff out, I am mentally exhausted, 7months of work on myself and now the final blow, fatal kill, perfect shot, right through the heart into the spine, right through... where do I go from here?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think the best thing you could do for yourself right now is take a time out, sleep on it, let it settle in before you can know where do you go from here. You both need some time alone to evaluate where you stand on this. She doesn't seem very remorseful, but maybe that was an initial defensive reaction. In any case, you seem reluctant to let her go and I can understand that. I can't tell you whether or not this should be a deal breaker for you, everyone has their own boundaries and you have to decide for yourself. But I think it'll be easier for you to reach that decision if you stay apart for awhile and then get together to discuss it once you're both more sober about it. Options are limited since she's newly arrived in a foreign country but I think you'd be right to ask her to stay in a hotel for a few of days or rent a place on her own until you figure out what to do. Don't be afraid to give yourself time.

Good luck with everything xx

[itsjen516]

Nope no way ! I wouldn't accept it at all. No 2nd chances or anything !

[Laural007]

I wish I could say that I would be strong and sever all ties if my SO cheated on me, but at this point I'm not sure I'd be willing to throw in the towel. We'd need to have some serious conversations and he'd have to be willing to accept the fact that my trust in him would have to be built from the ground up again.

I do have to say that by your SO telling you that you need to sort out your issues if YOU want to be with HER, it sounds like your SO really doesn't feel all that bad about what she did.

[Kristin91]

Cheating, along with a couple other things, would be something that I could never forgive or move forward from. It would definitely be the end for me. Imho, if someone cheats on their SO then they didn't respect that person enough, no matter what the circumstances were.

[delightful]

I've been cheated on beforehand, and it's not something I ever want to go through again. It's an absolutely horrible feeling. It would be completely 100% over if that happened with my SO. We've known each other long enough and respect each other enough that I'd like to think that if that thought ever even slightly crossed his or my mind (which it wouldn't), that we'd discuss it, and then go from there. But being flat out cheated on? Nope. Don't care about the situation or the excuses, and being drunk is just about the worst excuse I can think of. If you've committed yourself to someone, then that's that. No plausible explanation for cheating on your partner (given that you're in a happy and abuse free relationship to begin with).

[differentcountries]

She doesn't seem to want to move a finger, she believes she is what she is and that's it, so I need to sort out my issues if I want to be with her, she has done work on herself enough apparently... So where do I go from here? I feel alone, really alone. At this very moment, I don't think I can make it... I just wanted to let some stuff out, I am mentally exhausted, 7months of work on myself and now the final blow, fatal kill, perfect shot, right through the heart into the spine, right through... where do I go from here?

She will have to ask for your forgiveness, and say that she is sorry. Maye that is not possible for her right now, but she will have to do it at some point. If she cares about you, she will eventionally se your pain as her own and it will break her to have hurt you. Then it will be a very brave thing to face it.

You will have to make peace with the fact that you trusted her and she let you down. Now you must decide what is the most important to you: that she never does it again? that she finds the reasons why? that she makes it up to you somehow? what will it take for you? If you forgive her, try to not want to get back at her, though it will be very tempting. You may show her your hurt, even a long time into the future, though, if it is not meant as punishment.