Eeh Cheating...

[differentcountries]

Being married and also having a boyfriend that my husband approves of; obviously cheeting does not mean the same thing to me as it does for most people. Polyamory means that it is possible to have more than one love in your life. However, there is cheating in "our world", too.

To me, cheating is about breaking agreements. Me and my husband does not have the common agreement of "not sleeping with any other people, ever". But we do have rules. If we broke those rules, that would be considered cheating. One rule is that we have to approve new people, so being spontanious is akin to cheating for us.

Also, my boyfriend have more-or-less asked me not to take on any more people, which I am ok with and intend to respect. I am pretty sure he would feel cheeted on if I got together with anyone else exept my husband.

[mellif]

I would try to get over it at first, but I'm not sure.... If he cheated, maybe it would be the beginning of the end for us, either way.

[OperaDiva]

She doesn't seem to want to move a finger, she believes she is what she is and that's it, so I need to sort out my issues if I want to be with her, she has done work on herself enough apparently

Tomski, I am with differentcountries on this. To me, cheating breaks one of the fundamental pillars of a relationship - trust - and once broken, it can only be rebuilt by the person that broke it, with LOTS of effort. Her cheating is not your doing, so she is the only one who can fix it. I would say back off and focus on healing your pain.

My SO and I have talked about cheating (especially before I left, to establish boundaries) and we agree that it destroys everything built until that point, and it signifies deeper issues that have not been communicated well enough.

[snow]

When my man and I got together he told me there's one thing that would make him break up and that's if i cheat on him.
So if I cheated on him it would be over and I know that. If he cheated on me I would probably be incredibly hurt and would not know what to do, but I love this man too much to leave him.

[lejon]

I don't think I could forgive my SO if he cheated on me. It would affect the trust, which is incredibly important in a relationship. Although I know it would be extremely hard to leave him, it would be the only choice my SO wouldn't accept cheating ever either.. his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and he is still traumatized by that.

I think it tells something about a person if he/she cheats. Usually "once a cheater, always a cheater". (From what I've experienced/seen). At least your SO should be showing remorse and begging you to stay if she really felt that she did something wrong...

[MadMolly]

Forgave my ex too many times. I was young and so obsessively in love. Now I'd leave without a second thought - I deserve better than that and I know it.

[rufuz]

I think this is really hard to say... On the one hand I completely HATE cheating... I would never ever do it myself and I don't understand why someone can't just break off before it comes to this point, so I absolutely don't accept cheating in any way. On the other hand I just love him way too much to say that this would directly be the end of our relationship. I think I would try to understand why he did it and try to find a solution. I'm sure this would be really really hard for me... so I don't know if I would stay with him in the end.

[Yaaamiii]

I would try to get over it at first, but I'm not sure.... If he cheated, maybe it would be the beginning of the end for us, either way.

Same. It'd just be the beginning of the end. I'd probably try at first...but I don't think I could ever truly move on from it...

[Neide]

Definitely NOT.
i never give second chances.
I personally cannot build a relationship without trust after that happens, i don't want to put myself through the thoughts of feeling paranoid every time they leave my side.
I see it as they didn't respect me enough when they were doing the deed of cheating. Plus i dont accept the drunk excuse either because they put themselves in that
situation of getting drunk. If they cheat they deserve to feel the loss of someone they 'apparently cared for' so that they don't make the same mistake with the next! live and learn cause i don't give second chances. Even if i love the person so much, i wouldn't stay with them at all, in that moment of time i'd have to think about me and my own happiness.

[dglynn77]

When my man and I got together he told me there's one thing that would make him break up and that's if i cheat on him.
So if I cheated on him it would be over and I know that.

Same here! My SO cannot stand cheating. For any reason. There is never a good reason to cheat.

Forgave my ex too many times. I was young and so obsessively in love. Now I'd leave without a second thought - I deserve better than that and I know it.

This is so true! Great way to look at it!