If you and your SO were related...

[snow_girl]

Based on the post by leonsfangirl

Watching Jeremy Kyle, my heart is breaking for the two guys they had on. They met online,talked for two and a half years and when they met it was love at first sight. They planned on getting married, when one introduced his boyfriend to his family they mentioned a resemblence to his mothers ex husband (turns out the gave a child up for adoption), they shared the same last name. Turns out there half brothers. Words cannot describe how horrible that must be for them. Losing the love of your life yet gaining your family back all in one day.

If you found out you and your SO were related would you continue to date? If so, would how close in relation would you date to? (brother/sister, cousin etc)

I just asked my SO, he said he would still date me if I was his cousin or further but not if we were siblings. He said we couldn't marry if we were siblings cause it is illegal and we'd have to adopt so our kids wouldn't look like those from deliverance.

I don't think it would sink in if someone told me he was my brother, I've never had one and wouldn't know how to treat him as one. I'd still love him romantically but I'm not sure whether I could continue that relationship, I guess it would be something to figure out if that day ever came.

So what would you do if you found out you and your SO were related?

[VRose]

That's why I did a whole background check when I had a crush on my bf years ago

I don't know, I think I'd still date him [because I really love him!], see how far we'd go knowing that we're related... honestly I don't think that that relationship would last very long...

[goalie_girl34]

Maybe if we were distant cousins. But then again its something I dont even think about cause I come from a small family that I know every part of. If I found out he was my cousin right now I'm not sure if I would want to break up or if I even could. It wouldnt change any part of our relationship. If he was a long lost blood sibling no way. Like you said, I want normal kids.

[Bethypoo]

Um that is weird. I am pretty sure that we are all related in some way or another. But of Chris and I were siblings or even second cousins... I think I would stick with wanting to just be friends.

[Haley53]

It would break my heart but I don't think I could get over being blood related. :/

[Joyce:)]

Actually a study has shown how if two estranged siblings were to meet and not know they were related, they would feel some strange bond, that they could mistake with love. There have been quite a few cases, one sad one of a couple in south africa where they found out only once the girlfriend was pregnant.
No, i would not date my SO if he was my brother, i think i would just feel dirty and disguisting and aaaah Odds are thought that we aren't even slightly related

[Rugger]

If he were a cousin, I would keep on dating him. It would be two weird if we were siblings. You can't help who you fall in love with really

Sidenote to everyone who commented on kids: There is only a slightly higher change of a baby being born to siblings having birth defects. It's not as being as everyone thinks. The defects you see in the movies are caused by generations of inbreeding like https://https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prognathism was caused by 7 generations.For instance Carlos II , his great-great-great(-great-great, depending along which lineage one counts) grandmother, Joanna of Castile , mother of the Spanish King Charles I (who was also Holy Roman Emperor Charles V) became insane early in life. Joanna was two of Charles' 16 great-great-great-grandmothers, six of his 32 great-great-great-great-grandmothers, and six of his 64 great-great-great-great-great-grandmothers.

Sorry for getting off topic, I'm a huge history nerd

[ushiwakafox]

Hm. I suppose I'd be fine with distant cousins. 3rd cousins on I suppose. I saw on a TV show that having children if you're second cousins literally has like no higher chance of defects than anyone else. I guess as long as I didn't meet him at a family reunion I'd be fine XD

[efish1042]

Depends how close... not the whole half-brother thing. I have a half-brother. Too close for comfort.
I actually had to worry about this at one time, and I'm still not sure. His last name is the same as my grandmother's maiden name. I'm pretty sure if we are related it's pretty darn distant, but it was still a thought that crossed my mind.
But after learning about genetics and knowing how messed up my family's gene pool already is, I wouldn't be able to, in good conscience, get married or have kids with someone less than a second or third cousin.

[11MikesGirl21]

My limit would honestly be the limit of blood relation the Catholic Church has set. Last time I studied the specifics of it was 3 years ago and even then it was an outdated religion book in high school. So whatever that relation is currently would be my cut off. I couldn't in good conscience go against that.


I asked my SO his answer was "whatever's legal and biologically sound." He also said something to the effect of that we actually are distantly related; about 1000 years back is the closest he's aware of. lol.

[Zephii]

I... I don't think I'd care, honestly. I might be dubious about having kids, of course. But yeah, if i knew my SO romantically before finding out, I don't think it would change anything for me.

[Lissy]

I'm going to go against the grain here a little bit/agree with Zephii and say that I think I could probably get past it. I think the relationship held between siblings that grow up together and those that find out they're related later on in life could be different enough that if I found out my SO and I were related in any way, it wouldn't change my love for her. That being said, it'd take some getting used to and I'd prefer to just not know about it at all. As for the subject of children, my girlfriend and I are going to have to sidestep the traditional approaches to procreation no matter what, so that's simply not an issue.

Fortunately, I'm certain I'm not related to my girlfriend. I'm not judgmental of incest as a general thing, as long as it occurs between consenting adults, but it's not my cup of tea and I'm happier not thinking about it.

[Sora1101]

I think it would be difficult but if we were closely related I would try to live as family instead of having a romantic relationship with my SO, I just wouldn't feel right knowing that he was my brother or something. Sure it would be hard, and probably really awkward, but at least we'd have a strong tie already. If we were cousins I'd say to hell with it I want to be in a romantic relationship, sure it would cause gossip and whatnot but if I truly loved them like a partner I wouldn't care, we wouldn't be too closely related and after all the trials of a LDR I wouldn't want all the hard work and dedication to be spoiled.

[leonsfangirl]

Suppose i better answer.

Distant relative.... yeah i'd be fine with that but half brother? No.
It would break my heart, i couldn't be around for him as a sibling. It would be torture, i'd have to cut all ties and carry out without him because i honestly wouldn't be able to to see him with somebody else.

[Zapookie]

I don't know, if he was my half brother, no probably not. If he was a cousin or distant relative, yes.

I don't have any siblings anyway so I don't know what its like to have that sibling connection with a brother or a sister lol.

We wouldn't be closely related anyway because we're of different races (but everyone is distantly related in one way or another, right? eons and eons ago...)