Showing Them Your World

[Haley53]

My boyfriend is coming out to see me in California and it will not only his first visit to see me but his first visit to America, ever. :P I'll be curious to see how he likes the area, even if two weeks is not nearly enough time to form a valid opinion, seeing as, even if I end up in Ireland for a while, I ultimately want to come home to the bay area and live here permanently. I'm out of sorts nervous about it but also incredibly excited. He'll be meeting my family, my furkids, seeing where I go to school, what campus life is like, exploring some of the bay area highlights, etc... But I can't wait. He'll be here in March starting the weekend of finals week. Only 45 long days! :P

For those of you who have already had a SO come visit, were you nervous about it? How did it go? What were some of the highlights of being able to show them "your world"?

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

Yes, I was terrified. It felt very surreal bringing him back to where I live at uni, and meeting my friends, and then taking him to my hometown for Christmas...
Ok, so my parents and his parents know each other, and my parents know him, but this was their first meeting since we got together.
And it was so strange, for the first bit, seeing him interact with the people I love and my life and seeing the world from where I am.
We didn't do a lot of touristy stuff, but then we're both poor students, so it's understandable. The main thing was being together. Don't put too much pressure on "we have to squeeze x, y, and z into this!" because things don't always go the way you plan. Just enjoy having him kicking around in your environment, because undoubtedly, he's going to learn a lot about you from where you are and what it all looks like.
The saddest thing my SO said to me was that now he's seen everything he can "picture you alone, without me, in your space".
I'm so excited on your behalf! I'm sure you're going to get a tonne out of this visit.

[Haley53]

Oh, I'm aware we won't be able to do everything. xD I have a general idea of things I would love to get done if we can but one, I'm not sure where we'll be money-wise and two, I have never been one for an itinerary. I actually visited him in Dublin knowing that I wanted to see at least one castle, go to the zoo, and explore as many nature places we could possibly find - and have a romantic night in a fancy hotel. Our one month stay actually ended up being filled with so much more, a lot of which I hadn't even thought of when looking online! Given that we only have a couple weeks, I'm choosing a handful of things I really want to do/places I want to go, such as our aquarium (he loves penguins and I love seahorses, and they're closing the seahorse exhibit this August ), but for the most part, I want him to experience my world and simply enjoy his time here.

I think I'm mostly nervous about how it's going to go with the family! Especially given that we only have two weeks, and seeing as it's been several months since our last visit, I want him to have time getting to know them, but I also intend for us to be going off and doing things on our own as well. I had considered maybe planning on or two days where there's something we could all do together but for the most part, I'm likely to want to spend a lot of time with him privately. I'm somewhat worried because there's been some family drama going on that I don't want him to get caught up in, and I'm not going to want to deal with my sister getting insulted and hurt over us wanting to do things on our own/without her (she's rarely home, so I'm hoping that this won't be an issue, but she already made an issue because I didn't book his flight for her birthday - why I would book it while I'm still full-time in school and not during finals/spring break, I don't know - when they've talked once, and with my ex, she often got upset if we didn't invite her to do anything with us and that was when he was there for a week, so fingers crossed she's respectful of my desired space this time), so I think that's stressing me out. I really want my family to make a good impression and I want his trip to be as stress/drama free as possible given as with everything he's been through, he needs the break. He says the trip will be perfect regardless of what happens because it's time spent with me, but there's so much I'm wanting to do to make it "perfect" that I think I really need to relax. XD

[snow_girl]

I lectured my Dad for weeks before him coming not to embarrass me. I told him he had to behave and not crack any jokes (mostly which are racist, he isn't just his sick sense of humor is) I mad him promise to say excuse me after he burped and all that. When he got here we had dinner with my parents and they got along really well. We didn't really do any family activities but dinners were mostly with my parents and when I was working him and my mom would hang out. He said he really liked Canada, which is great because like you I also want to settle down in my home country so that is bonus that he said he could see him doing the same. Try not to worry about anything too much, he loves you and he'll love seeing what it is like on your side of the computer screen!

[sweetshay]

Yeah I was super nervous. He get a rental car to come see me and parked outside my dorm... and didn't get out of the car so I kinda just jumped in his car the first time we met and it was pretty awkward. But it didn't take long for us to warm up to each other at all. We slept together the first night (not sex just in the same bed). He loved the nature we have up where I live, like the beautiful view of the mountains and said he doesn't get any of that up in Iowa. But one thing he didn't like was the confusing driving up here.

[Dziubka]

My boyfriend has visited me countless times already, but I love showing him "my world".
Generally I try to show him as much of my 'normal life' as possible. I make him come to classes with me, so he gets to see my lecturers and uni mates...
...and then I feel bad for him, because most of my classes are very small and pretty female-dominated, so he sticks out like a sore thumb He has been very brave about it, though.

*edit: And oh, he knows a lot more about my city than I do. He's fascinated with everything Roman, which we have a lot of, so he checks out all the sights he wants to see and then we go there together. There's really not much I can actually 'show' him, because he knows more than I do and has seen everything on google earth 100 times

[Haley53]

I think I may have a discussion with my family regarding "boundaries" to a degree. I'm trying not to worry about what happened with my ex and bring it to the table two years after the fact... I suppose I'm mostly worried about my sister. I had figured it wouldn't be as much of an issue as it was with my ex because it's two years later, but she literally got upset and made an issue of the fact I scheduled him on my terms and not for her birthday because she "wanted him here." I really hope my family can understand why I want to spend time with my boyfriend alone. I do not want things to be made into an issue.

I'm enjoying reading all these stories. Nice to know I'm not the only nervous one!

[Lissy]

I was a little nervous, yes. The difference wasn't going to be overwhelming, seeing as my SO just lives a ways north of me, in Wyoming, but I was still apprehensive about her meeting my family and them being welcoming of her. My family is pretty odd, and I had only told my father a few weeks before she came to visit that she was more than a friend (meaning, I came out of the closet to him and told him she was my girlfriend all in one fell swoop). Also, my girlfriend is very close with her family and I didn't want her to feel homesick.

There's also the issue of living down here, in the "Bible belt," where people are very conservative and generally disapprove of homosexuality. I have grown up with it my entire life, but I think it was a big difference to my SO, who lives in a liberal area of her state. The airport we fly into/out of is in Texas, and the first time my SO came to visit, my mother and I took her to the mall in the city and out to eat. I will never forget the look someone gave me in that mall when I was holding my girlfriend's hand. Pure disgust and hatred. I was worried about exposing her to all that. There have been several occasions where we've been given ugly looks or even bullied a little bit when out as a couple in my area.

[flugelhorn]

I dated my SO for 4 months CD before we had 4 months of LDR. It was supposed to be only 2 months but things happened & so he didn't come to visit until last Christmas. I started to panic a few days before he arrived "what if it feels different? what if we're not as attracted to each other?" We email every day & Skype once a week & I knew in my heart of hearts that it would be okay but still.... you wonder. Anyways, as soon as I saw him at the airport everything was just like before which was amazing.

He had been to my hometown before but it was fun showing him all *my* favourite places. I think it's nice since when you talk about going someplace, then your SO can picture it in his head.

Regarding "boundaries"... my parents don't let us sleep in the same bed (sighhhhhhhh) so we booked a place downtown through AirBNB for a few days. I don't think alone time should be underestimated. The idea of having an outing with your family might be fun but I'm sure you'll have lots of time for family dinners & stuff like that.

P.S. Eclaire, you & your SO started dating 3 days before my SO & I.

He said he really liked Canada, which is great because like you I also want to settle down in my home country so that is bonus that he said he could see him doing the same.

Ahhhh glad I'm not the only girl with a British boyfriend who feels the same way!! I was convinced my SO would never want to move here but the last time he visited (in the sweet Canadian WINTER) he said he would consider moving here & I was soooo happy!

[floridaellen]

My SO and I started CD but then I moved to Florida to go to school. He visited me in October and we had so much fun! We went to the beach and did some other touristy stuff :P He also came to my college, met my new friends, and sat in on some classes. He clicked really well with my friends, especially my friend's fiance. It was so much fun. We're in the process of planning another trip!

I was nervous that he wouldn't like my friends or the area but it turned out to be no issue whatsoever.

[Sora1101]

Even though my SO has been the one to visit me it hasn't been in my area, although with this next visit I'm hoping to show him around my neck of the woods, I mean I've lived here for my whole life so I think he should see where I grew up and where I hang out, I hope it goes well

[lucybelle]

When my SO visited me in the States it was also his first time ever. He only came for 6 days and in that time he met all my family, some of my friends, saw part of my state and decided whether or not he wanted to move in with me. But I wasn't even thinking about any of that, I was just happy to see him. My family's fun and so is my SO, can't go wrong. We went to a city with a ton of microbrews, can't go wrong. And I knew he would do anything to be with me, so I wasn't so much stressed as I was really really excited. I wanted him to have a great time, and he did. We still talk about it

[DollOnAMusicBox]

For us, I was thrilled to show him "my world."

I wanted to show him things from my life at the time - like bringing him to classes with me and showing him my campus. But I also, wanted to share things from my childhood - like going to museums and parks that I grew up visiting. Lastly, I "sold" the area by taking him to places that I"d always wanted to go, but never had an excuse to - like New York City.

It was great because we got a chance to live somewhat of a "normal" life together, we were able to revisit my childhood with the same childlike enthusiasm, and we got to explore and learn new things together too. It wen't wonderfully. Next time he comes out I don't think we'll be AS busy as we were the first time, but I still want to take him to Boston and some other things.

[Bethypoo]

I am so excited for you visit!!!!! After so much bad news and break ups it is good so see some happiness!!!

[lala]

My bf is coming in summer time and said that he would like to come for three months-but I think it will be less. I'm sooo excited. I already searched for some tourist atractions in the area I live. I will also show him my old school,university and some places I like. I also sent him some pictures of the places we are going to visit
but like some of you said I'm nervous if he will have fun.. and also the thing with meetings my family,especially my dad. I hope they will accept him and he will feel comfy.. and I also worry how we will get along.. we haven't seen us for 6 months and there are 6 more to come.. however it's excited nevertheless!