Is that so wrong?

[AsianRawr!]

I have one last question. How long should I wait for her to come to me? How long do I wait until I know if she wants to continue our relationship or not? This question has bugged me ever since this started.

[Haley53]

I would honestly give it at least a week, and then re-evaluate it from there. :/

[AsianRawr!]

Well...if you mean a week since this started then almost been a week already. If you are talking about me leaving her be for a week then I might be able to do that. All of this is just hard because frankly I don't want to lose her at all but it just seems like she is just out of my reach now.

[Haley53]

I mean leaving her be for about a week. Within a week seems to be the general time frame for how long these things last, at least from the trend I've noticed, and when my SO was also in need of space immediately after he lost his mother, letting him be the one to come to me for a week or two was pretty much all that was needed. It's amazing what a little bit of space and distance can do. The way I see it though is that you're either going to lose it or you're not, but the way you're going to start repairing it is by showing her you're willing to change to give her her space.

[AsianRawr!]

I mean leaving her be for about a week. Within a week seems to be the general time frame for how long these things last, at least from the trend I've noticed, and when my SO was also in need of space immediately after he lost his mother, letting him be the one to come to me for a week or two was pretty much all that was needed. It's amazing what a little bit of space and distance can do. The way I see it though is that you're either going to lose it or you're not, but the way you're going to start repairing it is by showing her you're willing to change to give her her space.

Yeah, I am willing to change to give her her own space but can doing nothing for a week also lose it all? I know each person is different when it comes to this but can ignoring the problem and not attempting to fix it end up making it end? In my mind it just drives me crazy that I'm not doing anything to try and fix this at all when the right thing to do is to just give her space. I want to do everything I can to fix this problem but it hurts to know that the only thing I can do is just wait. If I end losing her, how will I know that? After a week of letting her have her space, how can I know if its ending for us or not? I just have this gut feeling that if she doesn't contact me for a week then it just makes seem like it is ending but my brain wouldn't rest until I heard it from her myself yet if she still ignores me even then how can I get my peace from her?

[Haley53]

Yeah, I am willing to change to give her her own space but can doing nothing for a week also lose it all? I know each person is different when it comes to this but can ignoring the problem and not attempting to fix it end up making it end? In my mind it just drives me crazy that I'm not doing anything to try and fix this at all when the right thing to do is to just give her space. I want to do everything I can to fix this problem but it hurts to know that the only thing I can do is just wait. If I end losing her, how will I know that? After a week of letting her have her space, how can I know if its ending for us or not? I just have this gut feeling that if she doesn't contact me for a week then it just makes seem like it is ending but my brain wouldn't rest until I heard it from her myself yet if she still ignores me even then how can I get my peace from her?

Doing nothing for a week can "lose it" when a) it's already not working out (someone posted about a SO who wanted space/time and then got pissy because they were given it, which in my opinion, shows the relationship is beyond the fixing point already) or b) when it's not to do with matters of space. The reason doing "nothing" is what's likely to fix this situation is because she's called you clingy, oppressing, and controlling, essentially. Those are all feelings/perceptions that will be increased and perpetuated if you continue to hound her. You already have not received any response to what you've already sent. Why send more? What more could you possibly have to say? You need to cool it and back off or you're going to scare her into never wanting to hear from you again. You figure out what you do in a week based on what happens. There are a hundred and one different routes you could take but it's going to depend on a lot, so for right now, keep yourself busy and distracted, blog to your heart's content, and leave her be until she's ready to come to you.

[AsianRawr!]

Doing nothing for a week can "lose it" when a) it's already not working out (someone posted about a SO who wanted space/time and then got pissy because they were given it, which in my opinion, shows the relationship is beyond the fixing point already) or b) when it's not to do with matters of space. The reason doing "nothing" is what's likely to fix this situation is because she's called you clingy, oppressing, and controlling, essentially. Those are all feelings/perceptions that will be increased and perpetuated if you continue to hound her. You already have not received any response to what you've already sent. Why send more? What more could you possibly have to say? You need to cool it and back off or you're going to scare her into never wanting to hear from you again. You figure out what you do in a week based on what happens. There are a hundred and one different routes you could take but it's going to depend on a lot, so for right now, keep yourself busy and distracted, blog to your heart's content, and leave her be until she's ready to come to you.

Well, I talked to my school counselor today and I let it all out yet again for maybe the third time since this whole fiasco has started. I'm just starting to figure out what I'm going to do in a week. Just continue to be myself but improve little things that I have a habit of doing. I've given her a deadline already that I, personally, am willing to wait before I know it is over for good. I know that she is busy now with school, family, and work but there could at least be one text during all of that. Her not answering not even one text is just telling me what you said she is feeling or she is just over it all and decided to end it after an argument we had. I've decided to wait until Valentine's day to see if she is going to reply. It's ironic that I chose that day. Frankly, I really do think that she thinks I'm oppressing her. Throughout the two years she's deleted FB, game accounts, and Myspace accounts because of me. She kept assuming that I would get mad at her because of all of it. I just kept getting irritated because she didn't want to show that we were a couple on any of those sites. I just have this feeling that she won't be coming back to me by valentine's day because of all the events that happen after we get into an argument. All of this because of an argument over her not spending time with me. Before all of this in January, she was just fine then we had this argument of her not spending enough time with me right before her birthday. It's just gone down the drain since then and I don't think I can stop it, only she can but all of this is just telling me that she doesn't want to stop it. I'm just preparing myself for the worse, which will happen next week.