What do i do?

[HollzHeartsChris]

Lately, Chris hasn't been getting much sleep, but not because I've been talking to him. I haven't spoken to him in 4 days at least. Anyway, through the many text messages that we've exchanged during the day, he told me he's not been getting much sleep, falling asleep at the wrong moments, and I'm worried about him. I know he's under a lot of pressure right now, from school work, his parents and brother (not unusual there -.-) and a number of other things. He has to get up at 5am every morning just so he can catch a bus that'll take him to school because him mum's too lazy, and he gets a lot of pain in his back which doesn't help. He constantly worries and misses me, which isn't doing him any justice either. I was just wondering, is there anything anyone could recommend, any hints/tips as to how he can cope a bit better with getting more sleep? I just wanna help him in any way I can.

[Haley53]

He could try melatonin. It's something you can buy over the counter, and it's a natural supplement, so it's not going to be harmful such as something like Tylenol PM.

If the issue is primarily stress, he could consider adding exercise into his routine. Exercise is not only going to release endorphins and all sorts of feel good hormones, but it's also going to help alleviate stress and exercise tends to be one of those things that if you get into a regular routine of it, your other rhythmic cycles tend to fall into place shortly thereafter. It is incredibly beneficial and oftentimes underestimated when it comes to situations such as having difficulty sleeping or dealing/coping with stress. He could start with an exercise class a couple times per week if he needs help keeping motivated, as a class would provide the structure of having somewhere to go and having a set time specifically for exercise, or he could start out on his own by, say, running in the evenings, or doing strength training indoors, depending on where he lives and what the weather is like.

I would also suggest being on a set sleep schedule. You he has to be up at 5. He shouldn't stray from it. Even on the weekends when he has the chance to sleep in, he should be getting up at 5 (maybe he can use that time for exercising, if that'd help give him a reason to be up so early). His bed time should be set as well. When I was getting up at 5am for school, and I will defend parents in the sense they don't always want to be driving us to and from school. I'm older than Chris if I remember correctly, but there's nothing wrong with gaining some sense of independence and learning to take the bus. Generally school does not run past 3-3:30, so if he has to ride the bus home, I'm assuming he gets home around 4:30? Maybe closer to 5:00, all things depending? That would still give him 4-5 hours to do homework and have some time to relax. Depending on what courses he's in and the work load, he should not be receiving 4-5 hours worth of work, so I'm assuming it's an ample/fair enough amount of time. However, having a set time to wake up and a set time to go to sleep, and it does not vary, is a more structured way of training the brain into sleep. AND NO NAPS. Naps tend to screw up a sleep schedule fairly decently for most people, so I'd be wary of that.

Stay away from sugary foods and caffeine up to several hours before bed. Does he drink coffee? Soda? Tea? Perhaps he could consider having his caffeinated drink in the morning and avoiding it nearer the end of the day. Caffeine is one of those drugs that can remain in the system for several hours at a time, and depending on how sensitive he is to it, that could also be part of the problem. It's dependent on Chris though, as far as this one goes, as some people can drink a soda or a coffee before bed to push them through an assignment and still be able to sleep soundly an hour later. Others are driven mental by the caffeine and are up well into the late hours.

The last thing I can recommend is that things such as the computer and the TV should be off about an hour before bed. The lighting of each tends to stimulate brain activity on top of decreasing the production of melatonin, and as a result, if he's having trouble sleeping, the electronics should be shut off. He should consider reading before bed instead or doing another quiet activity, and if he likes listening to the TV while he drifts off, something like a book on tape (or CD these days? Mp3 file? lol) could be a helpful solution to that.

However, I would mostly recommend Chris getting on a sleep schedule and adding exercise into his routine. Both make significant impacts.

[HollzHeartsChris]

Thank you Eclaire Yes, he's younger than us both as he is 17. He gets a lot of chores off his parents as well, which does seem to cut down on the amount of time he can have to relax, and they seem intent on ensuring he never gets any privacy. However, I will mention everything you've recommended, and I think I might even take what you've said on board for myself.

[Haley53]

I would. For me, when I started running every day, I was amazed at what it did for my sleep. I no longer needed naps and was sleeping at decent hours for a decent span of time, and this was after having tried several OTC and prescription methods. This is in addition to everything even an hour per day of exercise can do for you, which is why it's one of my strongest recommendations. :P I do hope he finds peace though, and sleep soon! Lack of sleep can be absolutely terrible.

[Bethypoo]

I know this sounds a bit harsh but it is part of being a grown up. You go through phases where you have to get everything in the world done. But you just have to manage time and get things done. But maybe he could take, besides melatonin, there are generic sleeping aids. I take them because falling asleep for me is so hard. I cant turn my mind off. But I take one about an hour before I want to go to sleep and by the time i want to go to bed, I can.

Just a suggestion. But as for what you can do, just be supportive and remind him he isn't superman.

[Haley53]

Another thing I remembered based on what I mentioned on the post about insomnia. xD Valerian root is also good. It's another thing that's helped me at least get to sleep (can't say much for staying asleep), and it worked better for me than melatonin.

[AJD+JLH]

I also recommend sleeping on a strict schedule. That is what I began doing in order to fight sleep problems due to severe anxiety. Now it works so well I swear ill never take prescription sleep medication again. I also never nap, oh naps I loathe thee. I spend as much time as possible outdoors and keep lots of natural light coming into my apartment. Also, no eating several hours before bed.