Have you or your SO developed feelings for someone closer?

[deecakkes]

Sometimes people struggle to have long distance relationships because they're comforted by the attraction they have to people they see every day... Some time a hard time "committing". Have you or your SO developed feelings for another person? Did you tell them about it? If so, how did they react?

[Sierra]

I've never developed feelings for anyone other than my boyfriend. While I may find someone else attractive, it stops there. My boyfriend has my heart and that's what matters. And while he's developed new friendships at home, he has not developed any romantic feelings for someone else.

If I were to, yes I would tell my boyfriend because I think this is a sign that something HUGE is lacking in the relationship.

[Lizzie Blue]

I have someone in my group of friends who used to be very flirtatious with me, very kissy and huggy all the time even when I was married. My ex-husband never cared and while I was flattered by the attention I did start to wonder if that guy possibly had feelings for me. Now I am divorced and dating my BF, and this guy is still around. But my BF hates how he acts around me, so I respect my BF and have kept a very big distance. I love my BF so I draw that boundary line. because it makes my BF uncomfortable and I do not want to add to any doubts.

[deecakkes]

Wow, congratulations! Sounds like you have a very strong relationship. I admire your honesty.

[lucybelle]

I agree with Sierra. I think LOTS of guys are cute, because duh-- they are! And even sometimes I go as far to think "if I were single, I wonder if I would hit on him?" But I never would in a million years because I love my SO with all my heart. And as far as I know, he doesn't have feelings for anyone else either.

[jenniferjade]

I have never felt an attraction to anyone else. I can look at a guy and acknowledge that he's attractive, but even that is rare for me. I hardly ever notice other men. If I did feel myself becoming attracted to someone, of course I would talk to my SO, especially if it was someone that I saw often. I'm glad this isn't an issue for me though.

[Rugger]

There are def. men who have made me go " Whoa if I were single, the things I would do to him" but it has never crossed my mind to cheat. I enjoy bantering with men but never have I been tempted to take it any further than innocent flirting. To avoid temptation, I would take myself out of the situation.

[Bethypoo]

I agree with Sierra. I think LOTS of guys are cute, because duh-- they are! And even sometimes I go as far to think "if I were single, I wonder if I would hit on him?" But I never would in a million years because I love my SO with all my heart. And as far as I know, he doesn't have feelings for anyone else either.

Ditto!

I mean, it is human nature to be physically attracted to others or wonder "what if?" But I love my SO, and honestly, if I didn't love him, I wouldn't out up with the hardships that come with having and LDR. We have talked about it, and neither of us have had feelings for anyone else.

[carolynred]

I agree with the others. Naturally there are some guys that look attractive, and therefore sometimes I think, "He's cute" but it always stops there. I hardly notice most the guys here at my college because honestly I could never tear myself away from my SO. Even if we weren't together I wouldn't go for the guys here. xD I love my SO with my whole being, and I wouldn't look for anyone else. I'm as happy as can be.

Plus, I've been on the end where your SO tells you he/she has feelings for someone else. Its a relationship breaker for sure. When my ex told me he had feelings for another girl, I was crushed and our relationship was crushed a few days later. Worst days of my life after he told me that.

[Zapookie]

I don't really notice any other guys so I've never really given my time to someone to the point where I'd develop feelings for them. I love my SO and he's everything I need.

[marbear31]

So agreed! Yeah, there are guys it's fun to notice, yeah it's fun to imagine, but I am so completely grounded in my SO that I would never dream of being with another guy. Actually, there was someone I thought I was in love with before I met my SO, but being in a relationship with Stephen provided so much clarity to what love truly is, instead of idealized feelings. When I'm with Stephen, I'm raw, tangible, and true, and I don't need any other man to know that. My SO is enough, and always will be for me.

That being said, it is SO human nature to be physically attracted to others--revel in it, stay honest with one another, and even let it bring some spice into your relationship! ^_~

[magician13134]

I don't have to worry about this - I'm an engineer! Ha ha, but in all seriousness, this hasn't been an issue for me or my SO. To be completely honest, there's a tiny part of me that's a little worried about one of her friends just because they spend so much time together for school work and she has asked what I would think about her renting an apartment with him (they would live on separate floors of a house his dad rents). Honestly, I'm alright with that, I know we love each other and no one else so I can let her be with her friends like that without worrying.

[Haley53]

Neither my SO or I have had this problem. We've both acknowledged that we're going to see other attractive people in our lives, but it's not necessarily something that we think about. I don't have an issue with that he's going to see pretty women sometimes and I couldn't care less about the fact he has female friends. I think he's a little bit more iffy about me and the possibility of having male friends (he'd encourage friendship either way, but I can see him being a bit uncomfortable due to issues from the past) but he also understands that I'm as committed to him as he is to me. I think if we'd be developing feelings for other people, it'd be a sign that something was wrong in our relationship, even if that issue was the distance. Distance is hard. It's not easy. But I think that though love can't conquer all, it can conquer that much. Both my SO and I feel that we're everything one another needs and as a result, other people don't register in that way.

[Jezah]

Its kinda a weird disconnect for me. I no longer consciously notice other men. I am not very looks based anyways, it takes a guy showing personality for me to be attracted. That said in ALL of my other relationships I would see men, talk to them briefly even and think "Hmm, I wonder what a relationship with HIM would be like compared my relationship with *fill in random exes name here*". Honestly, in most of my exes cases these random men sometimes won that mental battle, either they looked smarter, more interesting, more funny or whatever, they always held some appeal.

Now to HBB and me, none of that. Its like a switch is turned off and I don't even think the same way anymore. If I even start to go down that line of thought I immediately shut it down with "Nope, HBB is better". He just IS for me, he is so much more than any other man I have met. So no feelings for anyone else, and I doubt I ever will

[lademoiselle]

"Anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special to catch your heart." I think that's pretty apt here. Of course from time to time I've come across other guys whom I'd deem attractive but the "attraction" doesn't go any further than the acknowledgement that they look good. I'd never act upon such superficial feelings and I daresay it's the same for my SO.