How do you feel about your SO checking out other people?

[fitfilipina]

I was just on another thread that talked about it, so I thought it'd be interesting to bring up.

How do you feel about your SO checking out other people? When you're around or not around? Do you look?

As I stated in another post, I have some tendencies in getting jealous/competitive (just a little protective over what's mine, I guess ) so it makes me a little uncomfortable when my SO looks. Sure, a passing glance is okay, but turning heads or full-on staring is not the biz for me. It usually doesn't help that every girl he looks at is his "fantasy" type, complete opposite of me, haha. He tells me he doesn't really even notice other girls, but then when we're together I see him looking, so there definitely could be an inclination to do so when I'm not around I don't really look either, and especially make a point not to when I'm with him because he's taking the consideration to be subtle/not look when he's with me. Some of the guys I dated previously were just so rude about it (i.e. walking down the street, seeing a girl, "DAMN SHE'S SO HOT!" staring, and explicitly going into detail about what he would do to her), so that's probably why I like it toned down.

[lala]

ook well I would not consider "just looking" as something really bad. I mean there are people who look better (in a superficial way) than others and that's I think normal that we look at them and think "ohe he/she looks great/sexy/has nice hair.." But your SO choose YOU to be with and not other barbies who walk around, right?
If he make comments you could talk to him and tell him how you feel about it.. if he continues that would be immature and he wouldn't care about you.
And why don't you look at some sexy boys, hmm what would he say to that?! lol

[kiara_silver]

Hmm can't say for when im not there, im sure he has the passing glances, or quick glimpse of a beautiful girl. But I can't really say anything, he loves me. But when he was here and we were together, i was his full focus. He didn't check out or glance in that way towards anyone. It was like he only had eyes for me lol. Im sort of a jealous girl, i cant help it, I really do want to be his whole world lol But he's committed to me, and is true to me so i really dont have to worry in this department. And on my side, nah im really closed off, and only focus on the people in my life, and as far as attracted, hes the only one who catches my eye.

[lademoiselle]

I'm sure other girls catch his eye from time to time. He can look, as long as he doesn't touch I'd rather it didn't happen while I was around though (or at least, not in such an obvious way that anyone else would notice). I don't think I'm massively prone to jealousy, or it could be that he never really gives me reason to feel so; either way I'm not too concerned about this issue. As for myself, I have glanced in passing at someone from time to time, although it is indeed in a very different way to how it was before I met my SO - the appreciation is kind of cerebral alone.

[jenniferjade]

Me and my SO have had long talks about this. He says, as a guy, it's hard for him to not look at a girl, especially if she's right in front of him. But it seriously pisses me off. To no end. I have only seen him look a time or two, but whenever I do, I always make sure to check out the next guy I see. It may seem immature, but when he sees me do it, he knows how it feels and apologizes. The way I see it, if it bothers him to have me look at other men and I'm not supposed to see it, then same goes for him.

[fitfilipina]

Me and my SO have had long talks about this. He says, as a guy, it's hard for him to not look at a girl, especially if she's right in front of him. But it seriously pisses me off. To no end. I have only seen him look a time or two, but whenever I do, I always make sure to check out the next guy I see. It may seem immature, but when he sees me do it, he knows how it feels and apologizes. The way I see it, if it bothers him to have me look at other men and I'm not supposed to see it, then same goes for him.

Just out of curiosity, what about it bothers you so much?

[Dziubka]

There's three possibilities
a) my boyfriend doesn't check out other girls when he's around
b) he does it, but hides it very well
c) he does, doesn't hide it but I'm too oblivious to notice.

I don't know which one it is, but I've never noticed him checking out other girls. One time like a year ago we were in mass together and there was this girl in the row in front of us who was (imho) breathtakingly stunning. Like I couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful. When we left I told him, how beautiful I thought she was, since I had noticed him looking at her...
he said that he didn't think she was anything special and only looked at her because she was late and made some noise folding out her chair
I wouldn't get jealous over something like that. There's beautiful people everywhere and they're nice to look at. It doesn't mean he prefers them over you or thinks about them in any other way than "wow, that person is beautiful."

[Katelyn]

Well I admit it....I can be very jealous so if I was there and saw it going on I would probably be very upset. I don't think I have ever seen him (more like I probably never noticed) do that in front of me so I guess I don't really have to worry. He does have an obsession with Selena Gomez and Emma Watson...no idea why. just no idea. And sometimes that can get annoying but I obviously am not worried about it. But, to help with his obsession I made him a huge collage of their pictures that I gave him last weekend. It is hanging up in his dorm room lol. He just stares at it

[CKJS]

We haven't met in person but i'm sure it would make me a little insecure. I sometimes get very jealous of things that are "mine" whether it be my dog, my best friend, my sister, and mostly my boyfriend. I do not like when random people miss with what's mine lol. I don't think I'd get too mad at him about it. Probably just take a second and be like omg is he more attracted to her? and then I'd get over it right away unless he was like some of the guys you talked about "DAMN SHE'S SO HOT!" then I would probably just walk away lol. I dislike being so insecure about it. The other night I saw a picture of his ex, he doesn't speak to her and said nothing nice about her and it still made me insecure because I was worried that was his type and i'm not. Haha i'm crazy. But i'm working on it He tells me he gets very jealous too. Which I like, i'm glad i'm not the only one lol. But neither of us act bad about it. We don't get mad at the other just insecure.

[Bethypoo]

LOL, i think it is normal to look. Why not. It isnt like they are wishing that they are with the person that they are staring at. I mean, sometimes I might think, "man, if i was single... grrr" but i mean it is just looking. So I dont really care. Its not like he is wanting to be with them or me with another guy.

I am confident in my relationship and in my SO. I will even tell him that a certain girl is attractive! So IDK im weird and just sure comfortable with my sexuality too.

[Haley53]

I'd be bothered if he did it around me. For the same reason you feel the need to draw him in the opposite direction of a petite blonde, I suppose that's the exact feeling I want to avoid. Yes, he's male, but quite frankly, men are as capable of having self-control as women are. Sure, men are generally more visual than women, but again, that doesn't relate at all to self-control. I get irritated with the double standard, really. If a girl has a lot of sex, she's a slut. If a woman cheats, she's a whore. If it happens with men, it's because he's male and that's what men do. It's the same double standard I've noticed with looking. Men and other women tend to have issues if the girl takes a peek, but if a guy does it? It's "human (read: male) nature." I disagree. My SO has eyes for me and me only when we're out and about together. Does he see other attractive women? Sure! Same as I can notice when a guy is more attractive than not. Does he check out other women? He claims not to even when I've told him I have no issue with it if it's something he does in his own time, but even if he did, eh, I dunno. Wouldn't bother me so long as it weren't around me. I figure that he may be male, but he shouldn't be so guided by stereotypical male allowances that I don't have his full focus. We see each other three times a year. I think three times a year, he can have the self-control not to look at the cute girl that passed us by. I find it disrespectful if it's done around anyone, even worse if they're trying to keep it from me. Way I see it is they can do what they want in their own time. But I have issues because I had an ex who looked frequently, and it did bother me significantly.

[DollOnAMusicBox]

My honest feelings are "you're not dead" and I dont mind if he looks as long as he doesnt touch. That girl on the street with the nice ass is not going to last more than minutes in his mind. I look too. We even have our top 5 celebrities that you wouldnt deny sex to. XD

That being said...if his eyes ever wandered in my presence he'd get a good (but only playful) thwomp. I have my jealous moments, but this isnt one of them.

[jenniferjade]

Just out of curiosity, what about it bothers you so much?

My boyfriend is very open and honest about how he used to think about girls. He tells me how most guys think about girls. And to be honest, it bothers me because you never really know what any other person is thinking at any given time. You don't want to think that he would think sexually about a girl he saw, but there's no way to know for sure. Men are only human, and come on you guys, we all know how men are when it comes to sex and things of the like. Besides, he's told me it would upset him if I did that. So, the way I see it, if I'm only to have eyes for him, then he's only to have eyes for me! :]]

[fitfilipina]

My boyfriend is very open and honest about how he used to think about girls. He tells me how most guys think about girls. And to be honest, it bothers me because you never really know what any other person is thinking at any given time. You don't want to think that he would think sexually about a girl he saw, but there's no way to know for sure. Men are only human, and come on you guys, we all know how men are when it comes to sex and things of the like. Besides, he's told me it would upset him if I did that. So, the way I see it, if I'm only to have eyes for him, then he's only to have eyes for me! :]]

Totally know how you feel about that! I'm with you on that definitely. It drives me crazy sometimes thinking of the things he could be thinking... (inception lol)

[Dauntedpoet]

How do you feel about your SO checking out other people? When you're around or not around? Do you look?
My SO is completely oblivious. He doesn't look. I've actually said to him.. "Oh my god, did you see that woman?!" after we'd passed a gorgeous woman on the street and he will have NO idea what I'm 'on about'. Yet he can tell me what I said, did, or wore at any given time we've been together. As I've said in another post, I don't find any other man attractive. I don't look.

We tried making a "Celebrity Freebie" list.. but we couldn't come up with anybody.
The closest thing was when he said.. "Wasn't that regeneration of Riversong (Melody Pond) amazing? Who knew Alex Kingston could be so sexy?" and seriously who knew!