Hi, guys, I found this forum by chance and out of a desperate search for comfort. I was really hoping I could get some advice from experienced individuals like yourselves.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We met in HS and have gone through the transition of being in different colleges. We are basically part-time LDR because we see each other every other weekend when he's home. I admit, this alone has been more difficult for me than it has for him. He goes to a full-out university while I go to a commuter university. The college life for him is much more exciting in comparison to my staying at home and driving to school lifestyle. We've had our ups and downs in the relationship, but we've both been faithful to each other through it all. I know he loves me as I love him, but sometimes I feel like I miss him more than he misses me and that I try harder to show my affections than he does. That aside, we had our biggest argument about a month ago, where he said he needed to take a 2-day break to figure out why he wasn't missing me as much as I missed him. Also, since he'd be leaving to study abroad he didn't want to have arguments when he was gone. It was really difficult for me and I figured I managed to push him away from being too needy and argumentative back at home. A month ago I was disgustingly dependent to the point where when he'd try to enjoy the college life on weekends he stayed there I would get extremely depressed and question his fidelity. When he came back that weekend after the break I told him I was sorry for placing such high pressures on him. It wasn't right to base my happiness off someone else. I told him that I understood why we needed to take a break to think because I realized that I lost myself in this relationship. I promised him that when he left for China I was going to work on myself as a person and support his endeavors as a loving gf should. He told me that hearing me say that was great and that he really did want to work things out when he studies abroad this summer. This past last month together has been great for the most part and we haven't had any major arguments since that break. I've been focusing on myself more and not pressuring him to call or talk to me as much as before. He has positively received it all.
Now, here's the new problem for me as a person. He left yesterday morning for his 11-week trip to China. I miss him so much and think about him all the time it's crazy. I feel depressed although I do not dare show him. We've only talked online once since then. I know he's going to be busy from here on out. I also feel like the more independent and confident in myself that I become, the more he'll realize he's been somewhat taking me for granted. I've started to look at things in a realistic POV...Before I was so caught up in the "Knight in shining armor"-syndrome, and I felt like if I lost him I would die. I was so focused on what he thought of me and what I could do to make sure that I didn't lose him that it just pushed him away more. I know that this summer is my opportunity to test this relationship and be a better person when he comes back. I want to sincerely believe that I'm worth it and if he doesn't see it, HE'S the one not worth it. I just not sure how to go about doing that when I miss him so very much.
I'm so sad, though, you guys, and I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely and depressed. I talked to him on skype a few hours ago and I was so happy to talk to him. He didn't seem as excited/happy to see me though, and I asked him why and he said he was tired. Augh, I feel like I'm over-analyzing every detail. I can't help but worry about his fidelity for the next two months, especially since I've been spending the day reading other peoples' experiences with studying abroad and relationships. They are nothing short of discouraging. Is there any sense to me feeling worried about him cheating? Do you think he really IS just tired and perhaps later into the trip he'll be as happy to see me on webcam as I am to see him?
I feel scrambled and ridiculous. I need some guidance, please. Thank you.
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We met in HS and have gone through the transition of being in different colleges. We are basically part-time LDR because we see each other every other weekend when he's home. I admit, this alone has been more difficult for me than it has for him. He goes to a full-out university while I go to a commuter university. The college life for him is much more exciting in comparison to my staying at home and driving to school lifestyle. We've had our ups and downs in the relationship, but we've both been faithful to each other through it all. I know he loves me as I love him, but sometimes I feel like I miss him more than he misses me and that I try harder to show my affections than he does. That aside, we had our biggest argument about a month ago, where he said he needed to take a 2-day break to figure out why he wasn't missing me as much as I missed him. Also, since he'd be leaving to study abroad he didn't want to have arguments when he was gone. It was really difficult for me and I figured I managed to push him away from being too needy and argumentative back at home. A month ago I was disgustingly dependent to the point where when he'd try to enjoy the college life on weekends he stayed there I would get extremely depressed and question his fidelity. When he came back that weekend after the break I told him I was sorry for placing such high pressures on him. It wasn't right to base my happiness off someone else. I told him that I understood why we needed to take a break to think because I realized that I lost myself in this relationship. I promised him that when he left for China I was going to work on myself as a person and support his endeavors as a loving gf should. He told me that hearing me say that was great and that he really did want to work things out when he studies abroad this summer. This past last month together has been great for the most part and we haven't had any major arguments since that break. I've been focusing on myself more and not pressuring him to call or talk to me as much as before. He has positively received it all.
Now, here's the new problem for me as a person. He left yesterday morning for his 11-week trip to China. I miss him so much and think about him all the time it's crazy. I feel depressed although I do not dare show him. We've only talked online once since then. I know he's going to be busy from here on out. I also feel like the more independent and confident in myself that I become, the more he'll realize he's been somewhat taking me for granted. I've started to look at things in a realistic POV...Before I was so caught up in the "Knight in shining armor"-syndrome, and I felt like if I lost him I would die. I was so focused on what he thought of me and what I could do to make sure that I didn't lose him that it just pushed him away more. I know that this summer is my opportunity to test this relationship and be a better person when he comes back. I want to sincerely believe that I'm worth it and if he doesn't see it, HE'S the one not worth it. I just not sure how to go about doing that when I miss him so very much.
I'm so sad, though, you guys, and I don't know what to do. I feel so lonely and depressed. I talked to him on skype a few hours ago and I was so happy to talk to him. He didn't seem as excited/happy to see me though, and I asked him why and he said he was tired. Augh, I feel like I'm over-analyzing every detail. I can't help but worry about his fidelity for the next two months, especially since I've been spending the day reading other peoples' experiences with studying abroad and relationships. They are nothing short of discouraging. Is there any sense to me feeling worried about him cheating? Do you think he really IS just tired and perhaps later into the trip he'll be as happy to see me on webcam as I am to see him?
I feel scrambled and ridiculous. I need some guidance, please. Thank you.
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