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**Darth_Taco** · March 28, 2012, 11:00 PM

Um...This is a really bad idea. You can't just force a relationship on someone, and looking so damn desperate to keep this going isn't going to bring her back to you. In fact, you're gonna look like a creeper. Really think about this, this is a really bad idea and incredibly dangerous. You don't look romantic, you look desperate and unstable. Instead you should take that money and seek some professional help, because you shouldn't be this attached to anyone.

**Xandergirl20** · March 28, 2012, 11:15 PM

Originally posted by Darth_Taco View Post

Um...This is a really bad idea. You can't just force a relationship on someone, and looking so damn desperate to keep this going isn't going to bring her back to you. In fact, you're gonna look like a creeper. Really think about this, this is a really bad idea and incredibly dangerous. You don't look romantic, you look desperate and unstable. Instead you should take that money and seek some professional help, because you shouldn't be this attached to anyone.

This all sounds a bit harsh doesn't it? He is obviously just hurt and upset because his 3 year long relationship was just ended. He does not need professional help! If he wants to go see her, he can go see her. He wont look like a creeper, I think it would be kinda romantic but really desperate and a waste of alot of money unless it brings them back together.

**NZKiwi** · March 28, 2012, 11:26 PM

Originally posted by Darth_Taco View Post

Um...This is a really bad idea. You can't just force a relationship on someone, and looking so damn desperate to keep this going isn't going to bring her back to you. In fact, you're gonna look like a creeper. Really think about this, this is a really bad idea and incredibly dangerous. You don't look romantic, you look desperate and unstable. Instead you should take that money and seek some professional help, because you shouldn't be this attached to anyone.

Um... I don't give a rat's arse how I look to you and you don't know the dynamics of our relationship, so it might be better to keep your very humble and limited opinion to your self Sherlock. If I was unstable I would use the money to buy you an understanding in grief therapy!

**Katelyn** · March 28, 2012, 11:26 PM

Yeah, it was a bit harsh. But I agree with hers (minus the whole professional help thing etc). I wouldn't do that. I mean if I was her that would probably just make me want to push you away further. Especially since she has expressed her feelings and what not... I would just give her time and not push a visit on her if she doesn't want one. I mean if she says it's okay with her than go for it, but if she doesn't want a visit then I think you should respect that. It seems like maybe this could be good for you though. Take sometime and figure out who you are again.
But for now give her space, and time to think and figure stuff out. I mean everyone goes through rough patches and sometimes it gets to that breaking point. Maybe a break will help realize how much she wants to be with you (no promises) but I think suffocating her would push her away.

Guys lets try to be nice! =)

**NZKiwi** · March 28, 2012, 11:29 PM

We had planned this trip together, and she suddenly changed, Guess I have no reason to be here now any way. Should have known better to come back here. Bye!

**Reuschel** · March 28, 2012, 11:31 PM

I'll be honest and say girls don't like the desperate, beg and plead, do or die kind of attitude/guy. My SO and I just recently got back together from a break after 2 and 1/2 years and honestly it was hard as hell not to want to call her, text her, facebook message her, or anything! But I got some good advice that said to focus on my life, the here and now, and get myself together because if I'm not 100% for myself then I'll be losing a lot more than a girl. I cut off all ideas of communication with her (unless she initiated and even then I kept it brief), I did things I enjoyed doing to get her off my mind (hung out with friends, lifted weights, ran, etc.), and actually I did end up going to a couple therapy sessions just to talk to someone. I went home for spring break (we were CDR before LDR) and we talked, hung out once or twice as friends, and she noticed that I had a totally different demeanor, confidence, and that I seemed like the "old" me that she loved the most. Now we are continuing are journey together and I have to say that I probably would have lost her if I just kept saying "But baby I'd do anything for us. We belong together. I would die for you." or anything like that. Just keep your chin up because someone one day is going to want to see your smile.

**CynicalQuixotic** · March 28, 2012, 11:32 PM

Originally posted by NZKiwi View Post

We had planned this trip together, and she suddenly changed, Guess I have no reason to be here now any way. Should have known better to come back here. Bye!

Oh, please. What Darth_Taco said was true, and you needed to hear it. I really hate when people take their toys and go home when they don't like what's being said.

**NZKiwi** · March 28, 2012, 11:38 PM

Originally posted by Reuschel View Post

I'll be honest and say girls don't like the desperate, beg and plead, do or die kind of attitude/guy. My SO and I just recently got back together from a break after 2 and 1/2 years and honestly it was hard as hell not to want to call her, text her, facebook message her, or anything! But I got some good advice that said to focus on my life, the here and now, and get myself together because if I'm not 100% for myself then I'll be losing a lot more than a girl. I cut off all ideas of communication with her (unless she initiated and even then I kept it brief), I did things I enjoyed doing to get her off my mind (hung out with friends, lifted weights, ran, etc.), and actually I did end up going to a couple therapy sessions just to talk to someone. I went home for spring break (we were CDR before LDR) and we talked, hung out once or twice as friends, and she noticed that I had a totally different demeanor, confidence, and that I seemed like the "old" me that she loved the most. Now we are continuing are journey together and I have to say that I probably would have lost her if I just kept saying "But baby I'd do anything for us. We belong together. I would die for you." or anything like that. Just keep your chin up because someone one day is going to want to see your smile.

I'm not going, it's okay

---------- Post added at 05:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:32 PM ----------

Originally posted by CynicalQuixotic View Post

Oh, please. What Darth_Taco said was true, and you needed to hear it. I really hate when people take their toys and go home when they don't like what's being said.

Wish I cared what you hate. This is a LDR forum, and I am not in one now am I?

---------- Post added at 05:35 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:33 PM ----------

I know you are all right, just in denial I guess, sorry all, just tired and sad

---------- Post added at 05:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:35 PM ----------

Sorry

**kiara_silver** · March 28, 2012, 11:38 PM

Im really sorry. Me and my SO are having our 3 year anniversary in may and I can't imagine how i would feel if he suddenly didn't feel the same. Im really sorry. Was there any signs of this coming? The distance is hard yes, and its difficult, but we hold on. Was she distant lately or acting strange? What about a closing date, did you guys have any plans or talk about closing the distance? This helps me, even though nothings official, talking about closing the distance, having that goal in mind. I really don't know what to say, I hope you guys may reconnect, but if not im sorry, somehow some way stay strong, and take things a day at a time, but i hope you guys manage to work through this.

And my own personal opinions, if i or he couldnt take the distance, i would hope the other wouldn't just give up and move on, i like to think love is worth fighting for.

**NZKiwi** · March 28, 2012, 11:45 PM

Originally posted by kiara_silver View Post

Im really sorry. Me and my SO are having our 3 year anniversary in may and I can't imagine how i would feel if he suddenly didn't feel the same. Im really sorry. Was there any signs of this coming? The distance is hard yes, and its difficult, but we hold on. Was she distant lately or acting strange? What about a closing date, did you guys have any plans or talk about closing the distance? This helps me, even though nothings official, talking about closing the distance, having that goal in mind. I really don't know what to say, I hope you guys may reconnect, but if not im sorry, somehow some way stay strong, and take things a day at a time, but i hope you guys manage to work through this.

And my own personal opinions, if i or he couldnt take the distance, i would hope the other wouldn't just give up and move on, i like to think love is worth fighting for.

She said to me to keep fighting for US even when she gives up, and that to bring her back. I just miss her. Just last week we were making our plans to meet in London now it's over.

**Darth_Taco** · March 28, 2012, 11:46 PM

Originally posted by Katelyn View Post

Yeah, it was a bit harsh. But I agree with hers (minus the whole professional help thing etc). I wouldn't do that. I mean if I was her that would probably just make me want to push you away further. Especially since she has expressed her feelings and what not... I would just give her time and not push a visit on her if she doesn't want one. I mean if she says it's okay with her than go for it, but if she doesn't want a visit then I think you should respect that. It seems like maybe this could be good for you though. Take sometime and figure out who you are again.
But for now give her space, and time to think and figure stuff out. I mean everyone goes through rough patches and sometimes it gets to that breaking point. Maybe a break will help realize how much she wants to be with you (no promises) but I think suffocating her would push her away.

Guys lets try to be nice! =)

First, I'm a guy. Second, since when is it bad to see professional help when you're in a bad spot in your life? That was the nicest thing I said in that whole post. If it weren't for this whole ridiculous stigma we wouldn't have nearly as many problems in the world.

**NZKiwi** · March 28, 2012, 11:58 PM

We have children and things are complicated, we looked at immigrating, that's why I get annoyed when people make generalised statements about this because they just don't know the details. Any way I guess I just have to try and heal. I have had such a bad year with all the earthquakes which has everyone on nerves, hospital tests, mother's dementia getting worse, pets dying, and this just feels like the last straw, losing the one person who considered me her soul mate and best friend! Really just hurt!

---------- Post added at 05:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:53 PM ----------

Originally posted by MeganK

Im sorry.
Its not easy being in a LDR
sheesh, my SO and i know first hand
and im sure as well as everyonr on this site.

Ive myself at times told my SO its to rough, i cant handle it.
I wouldnt change anything now.

Im very sorry ur going through this.
Dont let some peoples negative comments get u down.
No need for it.

Good luck with whatever happens.

---------- Post added at 12:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:48 AM ----------

ur not even in a LDR.
why be in this site?

I don't care what you are, I guess I just stopped by to give an update because I thought I still might be, but you are right, there is no need for me to be here now.

---------- Post added at 05:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:55 PM ----------

Bye all then.

---------- Post added at 05:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:56 PM ----------

Originally posted by Darth_Taco View Post

First, I'm a guy. Second, since when is it bad to see professional help when you're in a bad spot in your life? That was the nicest thing I said in that whole post. If it weren't for this whole ridiculous stigma we wouldn't have nearly as many problems in the world.

Well I sort professional help when the second earthquake killed 182 people in Febuary 2011

**Karringtyn** · March 29, 2012, 12:06 AM

First of all....sorry about the end of the relationship.....keep reaching out for help...it does help to talk about it.

Not sure who you were referring to about "you are not even in a LDR..why are you on here?"

There are MANY of us who are no longer in LDR's...but this place is a "family" like place...and so many of us have known each other for a long time. We all can offer advice..at whatever point we are at in our relationship....that's the point of this place. Just sayin.'

**NZKiwi** · March 29, 2012, 12:12 AM

Originally posted by Karringtyn View Post

First of all....sorry about the end of the relationship.....keep reaching out for help...it does help to talk about it.

Not sure who you were referring to about "you are not even in a LDR..why are you on here?"

There are MANY of us who are no longer in LDR's...but this place is a "family" like place...and so many of us have known each other for a long time. We all can offer advice..at whatever point we are at in our relationship....that's the point of this place. Just sayin.'

Referring to me since I have been dumped I guess. Nice family you have here. Don't really feel that welcome, but thanks anyway.

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