My boyfriend and I will have been together for just under a year when he goes away in November. He planned a trip to go to Canada for six months to work before we got together and even though it's a few months away it's constantly on my mind.
What's gotten to me the most is when people ask "so what's going to happen with you guys?" which really gets on my nerves because it's as if people assume we shouldn't be together when he goes away.
My issue is I'm not sure whether to stay together or not when he goes away. I already have plans to see him for Christmas and New Year's and my tickets are all booked. We've spoken about it and there wasn't even a discussion as to whether or not we'd stay together, it was just immediately assumed that we would but lately I'm not sure if we should. My reasoning is that in the event that something did happen (we have a wonderful open relationship but I've been in a 4 and a half year relationship before where it turned out my ex had cheated several times, so I can get very insecure) if we weren't together it wouldn't matter but if we were then I'd never forgive him. It may seem like I'm giving him a free pass but it's to benefit me more so because I just don't want to get hurt. I'm already expecting replies to say "if he'd cheat on you why would you want to be with him" but I'm sure a lot of you would understand that it's a little more complicated than that. Realistically, six months is a long time and people get lonely. I definitely don't want anybody else and I'll have support from my friends but he'll only have the one friend there (who's single) and he's never been away from home or his parents before.
I want to be with him now and then break up when he goes to Canada but still maintain communication then see how we feel when he comes home but it's really killing me to not know what the best thing to do would be.
Please help.
What's gotten to me the most is when people ask "so what's going to happen with you guys?" which really gets on my nerves because it's as if people assume we shouldn't be together when he goes away.
My issue is I'm not sure whether to stay together or not when he goes away. I already have plans to see him for Christmas and New Year's and my tickets are all booked. We've spoken about it and there wasn't even a discussion as to whether or not we'd stay together, it was just immediately assumed that we would but lately I'm not sure if we should. My reasoning is that in the event that something did happen (we have a wonderful open relationship but I've been in a 4 and a half year relationship before where it turned out my ex had cheated several times, so I can get very insecure) if we weren't together it wouldn't matter but if we were then I'd never forgive him. It may seem like I'm giving him a free pass but it's to benefit me more so because I just don't want to get hurt. I'm already expecting replies to say "if he'd cheat on you why would you want to be with him" but I'm sure a lot of you would understand that it's a little more complicated than that. Realistically, six months is a long time and people get lonely. I definitely don't want anybody else and I'll have support from my friends but he'll only have the one friend there (who's single) and he's never been away from home or his parents before.
I want to be with him now and then break up when he goes to Canada but still maintain communication then see how we feel when he comes home but it's really killing me to not know what the best thing to do would be.
Please help.
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